_sideways_
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
- Messages
- 1,919
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I just want to hear some smarties explain it.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
It increases interest as long as there was interest initially. Its rejection and no one wants to be rejectedI just want to hear some smarties explain it.
I have really bad oneitus and it is not a good feelingIt sends her self hamstering into overdrive. Was I not good enough for him? Is he seeing someone else? etc.
If her interest is there it makes her work harder…
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Not necessarily, even an adult can really like a car on the dealer lot, but puts off the buy decision. The only one he/she really likes/loves that’s there. Then one day it’s gone. Loaned out as a demo. Then said person hounds the dealer for a sale to get it for their very own.But surely a grown woman with a job and bills, etc ...has to be differently affected.
People want what they can't haveBut how does it increase interest?
I kinda get it...like a little kid, hiding things makes them curious. But surely a grown woman with a job and bills, etc ...has to be differently affected.
How and why would not talking to her make her want more?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
LolThe 2 things that make this work are:
1. The one who cares the least wins.
2. We want what we think we can't have.