_sideways_
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
- Messages
- 1,919
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- 218
I just want to hear some smarties explain it.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
It increases interest as long as there was interest initially. Its rejection and no one wants to be rejectedI just want to hear some smarties explain it.
I have really bad oneitus and it is not a good feelingIt sends her self hamstering into overdrive. Was I not good enough for him? Is he seeing someone else? etc.
If her interest is there it makes her work harder…
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Not necessarily, even an adult can really like a car on the dealer lot, but puts off the buy decision. The only one he/she really likes/loves that’s there. Then one day it’s gone. Loaned out as a demo. Then said person hounds the dealer for a sale to get it for their very own.But surely a grown woman with a job and bills, etc ...has to be differently affected.
People want what they can't haveBut how does it increase interest?
I kinda get it...like a little kid, hiding things makes them curious. But surely a grown woman with a job and bills, etc ...has to be differently affected.
How and why would not talking to her make her want more?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
LolThe 2 things that make this work are:
1. The one who cares the least wins.
2. We want what we think we can't have.