How can a guy like me "believe in himself?"

[Epicwinguy]

Referencing this thread here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...s-guys-who-get-laid-vs-those-who-dont.247706/

If you have zero experience getting laid and only recently began asking women on dates (which I'm not even sure they knew they were supposed to be dates) how can you have this confidence with women?

 

[marmel75]

Referencing this thread here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...s-guys-who-get-laid-vs-those-who-dont.247706/

If you have zero experience getting laid and only recently began asking women on dates (which I'm not even sure they knew they were supposed to be dates) how can you have this confidence with women?

You can't. Confidence comes from having success in prior situations. If you have not had success in these situations then its hard to be confident in them.

You will need to work on other areas of your life that will help you gain confidence in yourself which will then manifest itself when you are with women, which will then lead to success in that area of your life.

 

[Spaz]

Referencing this thread here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...s-guys-who-get-laid-vs-those-who-dont.247706/

If you have zero experience getting laid and only recently began asking women on dates (which I'm not even sure they knew they were supposed to be dates) how can you have this confidence with women?

U were born
Because
That 1 sperm didn't sit at home thinking it wouldn't make a difference among millions of other sperms.

 

[Mike32ct]

You can’t, but it’s not strictly necessary at first. Thus, I honestly wouldn’t worry about confidence right now.

I’d rather be a nervous/awkward guy who finally gets the job done, than a confident guy who is convinced he can but somehow doesn’t get around to it.

Even at work, your boss would rather a humble guy who gets the job done than an overly confident* guy who is all talk.

You are asking women out. Great. Go out on some dates and see what happens. F confidence for now. Challenge yourself to have fun out there and keep trying with ZERO confidence.


*I’m not knocking people who are confident AND successful. That’s not the point of my post.

 

[The Duke]

Epic- think about things in your life that you had no experience in and little to no confidence when you first started then became good at. Apply that same approach.

Focus on taking small steps. Revel in small victories. Build on those and keep pushing the boundaries towards the goal. Keep moving the goal further out. Along the way confidence builds, your skills improve, and you start getting what you want.

10yrs ago I divorced the only woman I ever had sex with because she cheated on me. I was pretty much crushed. I was never beta, but I had no clue about women. I got on yahoo singles, started going out to bars. First girl I went out with was really nice looking and I thought I hit the jackpot. Well that lasted about 2wks and she shut that down crushing what little confidence I had in regards to women. I had no clue what I was doing. At this point I realized I wasn't ready for the major leagues. I belonged in the minor leagues.

So I decided to go after HB6-HB7's. They were plentiful. They weren't as hard to get. I used those girls to learn about women and improve my skills. My success stories became small victories I used to build the confidence to go after what I really wanted. You learn and build confidence by doing, by struggling, improving.

After 3yrs I had developed a high level of confidence and was attracting better looking and higher quality girls. Eventually I snagged a former Hawaiian Tropic model. I was so excited after a great first date I couldn't even sleep. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever been with. Still think about her! But this girl required enormous amounts of game. I had to throw every trick I learned on SS to keep that going. But it didn't matter because now I was swinging for the upper deck every time I went to bat.

From that point on I was unstoppable. I was going out 3 nites a week chasing girls having a blast. I had 10 girls in my phone that I was actively talking with. Sometimes I would send all 10 the same damn text telling them I was out at some club and they should meet me. I didn't care what happened.

People that take chances, put themselves out there, work hard, keep pushing themselves, and stay focused on what they want get rewarded. It doesn't matter if its sports, careers, or women.

And those items in bold help shape confident personalities that women have a hard time resisting.

 

[zekko]

You can't. Confidence comes from having success in prior situations.

I agree with this, genuine confidence comes from having success in prior situations. But it doesn't matter anyway, because I don't believe that women can detect genuine confidence at all. A lot of male swagger that some women respond to is nothing but insecurity being compensated before. When I was younger, I wasn't confident, but I knew enough to fake it. Women respect bold action. I am always confused by claims about confidence in the seduction community. You can get the same advice in a Cosmopolitan magazine: "Be confident". It's worthless advice, really. They never tell you exactly how to be confident.

I could be confident that I'm a billionaire, but that doesn't make it so. I'm sure a lot of guys are confident that they will be successful in the NFL, the NBA, or in the music business, but only a certain percentage will make it. What is important, IMO, is to have a positive attitude. You can catch yourself when having negative thoughts. Prepare as well as you can, go in with a positive attitude, and we'll see how things turn out. Hopefully they will turn out well, but if not we'll try it again next time. That makes a lot more sense to me than just "Be confident", which just seems like a meaningless platitude.

 

[.Paradox.]

Referencing this thread here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...s-guys-who-get-laid-vs-those-who-dont.247706/

If you have zero experience getting laid and only recently began asking women on dates (which I'm not even sure they knew they were supposed to be dates) how can you have this confidence with women?

Honestly, best thing to do is treat women/act like they're your normal friends. It makes you come off way calmer/cooler/confident, and it doesn't seem like you're just trying to seduce them, but actually get to know them. They love this.

 

[zekko]

Honestly, best thing to do is treat women/act like they're your normal friends. It makes you come off way calmer/cooler/confident, and it doesn't seem like you're just trying to seduce them, but actually get to know them. They love this.

I like this, but this was nixed for years in the community because supposedly it was asking to be put in the friend zone.
But you can have female friends and also have sexual tension, anyone should be able to realize this.

 

[.Paradox.]

I like this, but this was nixed for years in the community because supposedly it was asking to be put in the friend zone.
But you can have female friends and also have sexual tension, anyone should be able to realize this.

You're only gonna get friend-zoned if you wait too long to make a move. Treat them like a "buddy" on the first date (make them laugh), then make a move (kiss) on the second. Boom. You're the fun guy who makes her laugh, and she's sexually attracted to you, but doesn't think you're only trying to bang her.