When 2 dump a woman..

[Spaz]

To much focused is placed in how to keep a woman happy/attracted, OLD, ONS, plates, bedding her, etc. I think you get my drift here.

What is never or almost never discussed is when to dump a woman.

So how does one knows when to let a woman go?

For me, i'll let her off when I feel she's pulling me down and sets me back in my life goals. If she truly cares and loves me then she will help and assist me in my goals.

Some men don't realize that most will succumb to pressures from their wife or girlfriend to do something that sets them back in life, example;

Purchasing the dream car/house/boat that's beyond your means and being in debt for it.

Going on a dream holiday which you can ill afford.

Stops your dream of being a lawyer and wants you to keep that steady accountant but boring job.

Etc...etc....etc.

Does this sound familiar?

 

[Serenity]

What is never or almost never discussed is when to dump a woman.

Have you been reading this forum? It's discussed daily in various forms.

So how does one knows when to let a woman go?

She makes you persistently unhappy in any way, shape or form.

Does this sound familiar?

Not really, maybe I'm not that far in. I doubt I'll ever get there though. I'd rather be single than to fvck myself up financially and what job satisfies me is certainly none of her damn business. I know these guys exist, but I'd hang myself before becoming like that.

Fortunately my girlfriend doesn't interfere with my freedom in any unreasonable way, if she ever did she'd be out fast and she knows it.

 

[AJ84]

Anyone, man or woman, who is depleting your life rather than complimeting it is not worth your investment. Life is too short to tether to people who drain your happiness.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I think there should be a rule that you must have experience spinning multiple plates for several years before even considering settling down into an LTR with a girl. I didn't do that and paid a price of misery to stay with a girl who was so smoking hot that I thought I'd never get anything close ever again. Until you KNOW you will always have plenty of awesome options, you'll likely never be able to dump a girl. At least, that has been my experience. Wish I knew then what I know now.

 

[wifehunter]

"When 2 dump a woman.."

When this happens:

 

[MrWood]

When this happens:

that started at age 5... you would need to be a prettty low dude to even start, that it got to that :/

 

[greatsnake]

when you no longer are being fulfilled.

 

[QuadDeuces]

The last girl I dumped was in the end of January, because she was controlling, and trying to change me in minutest details.
Which made sense because she was a extremely successful in her carreer and accomplishments if you google her name you find the first pages on google referencing her name in scientific publications, career connections and even sports accomplishments, an alpha girl who only wants the best and it's her way or the highway.
She was submissive to me in the bedroom but in daily life was trying to control me and change me. This led to constant conflict and power struggles because I need my women to follow my lead. We cannot have 2 people trying to out alpha eachother.

 

[Murk]

Anyone, man or woman, who is depleting your life rather than complimeting it is not worth your investment. Life is too short to tether to people who drain your happiness.

What about those that simultaneously do both - fill your life with joy, excitement and acknowledgement - but also drain, stress and anger you. Then you let them go and the former is missing from your life.

 

[guru1000]

To much focused is placed in how to keep a woman happy/attracted, OLD, ONS, plates, bedding her, etc. I think you get my drift here.

What is never or almost never discussed is when to dump a woman.

Good topic.

For me, it's when I feel any level of disrespect, and depending on the level, I'll respond with a Hard Next or Silence and Distance (S & D).

For example, one girl I've been seeing for 5 weeks has shown consistently high interest. This week she canceled our plans with less than a 24-hour notice due to "work related issues." This is the second cancellation of plans over the past 5 weeks.

Good ol' Guru does take kindly to canceled plans last minute, especially from women where rapport is deeply established. So I employed S & D. She has since texted ," I miss you bla bla bla" and called. I didn't respond to either. I'm in doubt as to whether I will ever respond. We'll see how I feel next week.

 

[Murk]

The last girl I dumped was in the end of January, because she was controlling, and trying to change me in minutest details.
Which made sense because she was a extremely successful in her carreer and accomplishments if you google her name you find the first pages on google referencing her name in scientific publications, career connections and even sports accomplishments, an alpha girl who only wants the best and it's her way or the highway.
She was submissive to me in the bedroom but in daily life was trying to control me and change me. This led to constant conflict and power struggles because I need my women to follow my lead. We cannot have 2 people trying to out alpha eachother.

I hear you, me personally I like to be lead, it's something I'm working on but I do want someone, sometimes, to just lay it out for me.

 

[Murk]

5. Complaining about money
6. Complaining that you're not romantic enough
7. Extremely rude insults

This is all i encountered

 

[ohrein]

What about those that simultaneously do both - fill your life with joy, excitement and acknowledgement - but also drain, stress and anger you. Then you let them go and the former is missing from your life.

It's which side of the scales it rests on. Still in the honeymoon period with my GF so it's like 99.9% but if it's ever below 50% you've probably got a ****ty relationship and it's time to do some thinking.

 

[Spaz]

I dropped a young beautiful 28yo lawyer and was immediately castigated by friends.

Everyone was saying she's such a catch.

There's too much divergence in our life paths. I enjoy the outdoors; swimming, hiking, jogging, camping, rafting etc.

She enjoys windows shopping, high end tea's, high society dinners etc. I can tolerate some of her activities a few times per month but I simply can't keep up with it every single week, i hated it.

And she hated being outdoors.

 

[skinnyguy]

When she’s disrespectful.

 

[guru1000]

I dropped a young beautiful 28yo lawyer and was immediately castigated by friends.

Everyone was saying she's such a catch.

There's too much divergence in our life paths. I enjoy the outdoors; swimming, hiking, jogging, camping, rafting etc.

She enjoys windows shopping, high end tea's, high society dinners etc. I can tolerate some of her activities a few times per month but I simply can't keep up with it every single week, i hated it.

And she hated being outdoors.

Don't know about that Spaz.

Is she attractive? Educated/intelligent enough? Good convo? Treats you good? Respects you? No drama? Enhances your life in any way? Doesn't detract from your purpose? Traditional-minded insofar as she respects gender roles? No extensive mileage? Raised from a good family? Flexible, willing to do things you like? These are the important questions.

Differences in entertainment interests come secondary.

Compatibility to me rests more upon values than interests. My entertainment interests (outside of my purpose) are fluid and I'd be more than happy to try new things of entertainment value.

 

[Spaz]

Don't know about that Spaz.

Is she attractive? Educated/intelligent enough? Good convo? Treats you good? Respects you? No drama? Enhances your life in any way? Doesn't detract from your purpose? Traditional-minded insofar as she respects gender roles? No extensive mileage? Raised from a good family? Flexible, willing to do things you like? These are the important questions.

Differences in entertainment interests come secondary.

Compatibility to me rests more upon values than interests. My entertainment interests (outside of my purpose) are fluid and I'd be more than happy to try new things of entertainment value.

Beautiful, s€xy, highly intelligent etc. She's a product of an aristocratic family and raised by one. Hence her predisposition towards high society trappings. Incidentally that's where we met and was immediately taken by not only her beauty but also her mannerisms, her intellectual mind and her feminity.

Yes she fits into almost any man's idea of a dream wife, and I was her idea of the perfect Prince/Caveman. In order to indulge her, I'd be forced to forgo what I enjoy doing on a weekly basis.

And yes, i do dabble in high society gatherings, my social calender is littered with invitations and I'm there mostly for maintaining connections.

Ive noticed that men and women are trapped by statuses and maintaining their reputation.

An example, the status of a happily married man; is having a beautiful wife and kids.

In actuality many are not happy but trapped because of society's idea of a happy marriage. Being trapped with an idea that's detrimental towards your happiness and life.

So what I'm trying to say is, live your life as you want it, and if a women enters your life then she must accept who you are and joins in your life.

Yes a man must have purpose but he also must not be trapped by society's expectations to be truly happy.

 

[AJ84]

What about those that simultaneously do both - fill your life with joy, excitement and acknowledgement - but also drain, stress and anger you. Then you let them go and the former is missing from your life.

Good question. Been there done that lol. I think in those kinds of relationships there's a rollercoster of what aspects of a relationship trumps other aspects.
But after awhile you get dizzy and need to get off the ride. Then it feels boring because the other rides are not as exciting and and there's a sense of loss but with time you get on with things.

I've stuck around in a bad relationship, I've also had someone keep me around for longer than they should have when I wasn't that nice to them

One of my friends who is a male has this test he does to determine if he is going to emotionlly invest a woman. He asks himself 'if I were to marry her tomorrow, is there anything about her I can't live with, for the rest of my life?' If there is, he won't invest.

People don't change as much as we like to think they would, no matter what games we throw at them

I think that if we date someone long enough, they show us who they really are, and we decide whether or not we want to see that.
.

 

[soulforge]

Sometimes a female thinks she can do better than you..

She may feel like, she could probably get a man who makes more money than you, or has higher status!

Woman like these will never respect you... Disrespect should result in you DUMPING her ass!

 

[oldmanofthesea]

People don't change as much as we like to think they would, no matter what games we throw at them

I think that if we date someone long enough, they show us who they really are, and we decide whether or not we want to see that.

This is so true and it took me a long time to learn. My experience is that people often change for the worse and not the better (as AJ84 said - the longer you are with them the more you see who they really are and sometimes this takes a lot longer than you think).

Try to change something about someone else and not only will they not change, but they will resent you for it and the resentment will cause all sorts of other issues like increased ****-testing that manifests itself in the form of all sorts of challenges and picking fights. In my own experience with my ex wife, it would be her making demands about things that I knew she didn't really care about like "I want to turn the shed into a yoga studio for me" or "I want you to get your exercise equipment out of the spare bedroom so I can turn it into my office" or whatever. You give-in to the demands and she loses interest level in you because you didn't stand up to her (though she will never admit that). You say no and she repeatedly escalates her demands and holds a grudge about it which causes a sh*tty attitude about basically everything. Complain complain complain. The proof that this was ****-testing was the fact that any time I gave her what she wanted, she wouldn't use it. "I want you to clear out the other half of the garage so I can park my car in the garage too!" So I gave in, cleaned the garage, and then she never parked her car in there.

In the case of my ex wife, it took a FULL YEAR before I really saw a problem. There were some red flags before that, like the fact that her apartment was always filthy, and she complained about her friends and exes. But during the 12 month honeymoon phase, all seemed well between the two of us. Until the first time I expressed disapproval in her. She made fun of me for something I wore. I didn't say anything but just gave her a look that said, "That wasn't cool" and then walked away and ran an errand. Holy sh*t.... I might as well have stuck a stick in a hornet's nest. She came undone. I was not allowed to be upset with her, regardless of what she did. As time went on and there were increased opportunities for clashes like her having no regard for taking care of other people's sh*t (leaving wet glasses on nice furniture causing water rings, borrowing a car and curb rashing the wheels), etc, the problem only grew.

TL;DR: You have to wait for the honeymoon phase to wear off before you really see what someone is like, and you can't change people.