Zero Tolerance

[Macaframalama]

So, bih reaches out after about a week or so after she says... "Hold on, let me fill charts real quick" and she would get back to me. This is the second or third time she has said one thing and done another. She sends me a friend request on FB today and I messaged her and told her that I would save us both the time and let her find someone else to orbit her and I don't need anyone new in my life that says one thing and does another. And it's true, as I'm prepared to be alone for long periods of time if need be. The men in my "tribe" would never be afraid to question my behavior and vice versa, so why put up with it from a woman? I appreciate any opinions and unthought angles I'm missing. It's not something I am blindly doing out of anger or frustration, as I have made many bad decisions due to rage, but rather a gut feeling, that I should hold anyone and everyone up to standard, that could possibly enter my life on such an intimate level.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The thing about orbiters, they are trying so hard to be more than just orbiters! But that's all they know how to do. That's why the word is derogatory. By contrast, imagine you just added the girl on facebook, and then never gave her a second thought, and certainly no time, money, or effort. Does that make you an orbiter? I don't think it does, at least not in the derogatory sense.

And don't send p!ssy messages like that. It never works, bad vibes, bad karma, just don't do it.

 

[Macaframalama]

The thing about orbiters, they are trying so hard to be more than just orbiters! But that's all they know how to do. That's why the word is derogatory. By contrast, imagine you just added the girl on facebook, and then never gave her a second thought, and certainly no time, money, or effort. Does that make you an orbiter? I don't think it does, at least not in the derogatory sense.

And don't send p!ssy messages like that. It never works, bad vibes, bad karma, just don't do it.

Not sure of her intentions after sending me the request at that point. Wanting an orbiter was the first thing that stood out. I was respectful in saying what I said, but very matter of fact. I don't really care about the outcome with her. I willfully practiced celibacy for 9 months at one point. Not sure if I want to go 9 months without getting laid again, but I definitely do not want those types in my life. I think I'm just to the point that I want to outrightly reject anything that isn't the truth, no matter the cost. Are you from Oklahoma btw?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Nah, man, Southern Illinois.

Wouldn't all facebook friends be orbiters? It is social networking. I just think you are making a bigger deal out of things than they need to be. Telling off a woman is never worth the effort. It never accomplishes anything. I would have just accepted her friend request, hid her from my news feed if she is annoying, and never given it another thought. And if she's not interested yet, that's about the best shot you're going to have. Do that with enough girls, and occasionally you will start to get random messages propositioning you.

 

[Macaframalama]

Wouldn't all facebook friends be orbiters?

I guess all the ones that are constantly liking a woman's thirst posts, yea. I'm fixing to get rid of all social media anyways I think. I guess, my reasoning is, why would I put up with it in the beginning, when I wouldn't put up with it in the end and why would I put up with it with a stranger, when I wouldn't put up with it, with a friend.

 

[Macaframalama]

Hey mac i been there.. props for post.
Your attention is your biggest commodity. I mean really so when shes got to fill charts...while shes busy you fill other girls. Or golf...golf is fuuuun
The take away is a useful thing. However you want to be in a frame of amusement rather then resentment or anger.
Neautral indifference...

Maybe like this.
Hot brunette: hey what are you up to tmmr?( prior attraction)
You: playing golf with the gents
Hot brunette: nice what about sat?
You: oh crap still playing golf
Hot brunette: when will you be done?
You: golf is reeeeaaally fun...maybe novemberish??

Ok i made that up but you kinda get the idea. You gotta almost be a gizz bag sometimes. Bratty little sister. Actually no more like bratty litte sis dork as chubby friend.
The hotter they are genuinely speaking it will get them hot to see you more.
And if they dont persue?? Then?

Chances are she will be back. But if not, thats ok because golf is fun man.. AND we are letting her walk and she loves that.

I think last Sunday was the last time I had talked to her and hadn't given it much thought, until she sent the friend request a few hours ago. It wasn't resentment, rather than "do I want to go down this road" with someone who says one thing and does another. She will have to ask me out and pay if anything is to come of it. I was just kind of curious, when she sent me a friend request, rather than return here text. Maybe, she was testing my patience or trying to get me to initiate contact and chase her. Idk. I'm sure she hasn't had anyone hold her accountable and anything short of her grovelling is pretty well a burnt bridge. I don't really care either way, as she isn't my only prospect, but I thought it was weird for a 44 year old woman. I think i feel I have to know the "why" behind a behavior, rather than just accepting certain things aren't meant to be explained. It doesn't hinder my progress, but I'm not a fan of mystery unsolved. They're going to have level up to fvck with me. Maybe, I'm being too rigid, idk.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

If a woman does not reply, or just replies late with a single word, I read that she is either not interested or rude. Either way, I am then not interested, and move on. Simples.

 

[lizardking82]

If a woman does not reply, or just replies late with a single word, I read that she is either not interested or rude. Either way, I am then not interested, and move on. Simples.

This is such basic ****, but it is sometimes a bit mindfacking, you know. You are spot on, but it's like you should be able to turn interests off at a sociopathic level to do this without being attached at all LOL

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

This is such basic ****, but it is sometimes a bit mindfacking, you know. You are spot on, but it's like you should be able to turn interests off at a sociopathic level to do this without being attached at all LOL

I'm not sure about the sociopathy. I keep my interest/ emotion guarded at first, and only let them develop in a reciprocal manner as I see them develop in her. Actually, I'd say this is the exact opposite of sociopathy because you are reading/ mirroring the state of her feelings. So perhaps 'ice' at the start, and then a thaw if she is consistently warm to me... and perhaps full on cascading waterfalls once love in in full bloom.

 

[Julian]

why u so worried about some ***** you havent even fked yet


you should have way more hoes on deck to be worried about one

 

[lizardking82]

I hear that one. Haha
But once a man realizes that the self love he has for being his best self that will remain even if somone turns cold on you.

Its like you realize no human can ever take this from you. This best version of yoyrself..or better said your true nature.

Not to make it sound like multiplicity. Its not that. I have mentioned before its a knowing.

Absolutely. But we are all human and at a basic level, rejection will never feel nice. You can be the most succesful, alfa, call it what you want person, when someone rejects you, it doesn't feel nice. And in some twisted way, to be a DJ, you have to keep expectations low, run with the motors on minimum speed and sometimes that hinders your capacity to feel things fully. However, personally I know when to let myself go and up to what point so that I enjoy things quite well, but so that I can give up on them when other people's feelings change or **** hits the fan.

 

[marmel75]

No real reason to say any of that to her it will not have its intended effect

 

[Macaframalama]

why u so worried about some ***** you havent even fked yet


you should have way more hoes on deck to be worried about one

I'm not. What I said was... I am contemplating taking a zero tolerance stance. 1 strike of a woman saying one thing and doing another during the screening phase, she's out. No emotion, no feeling, just b!tch be gone.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

anytime a girl strings you along making you extremely frustrated.. making you feel negative butt hurt feelings the situation is fvxked, absolutely no winning.

don't blame the gurl, they have 100 of guys doing this to them. and they will not reward beta btch needy behavior.

though it's your fault to begin with, investing time and attention into someone that doesn't care to reciprocate, it's the most common trap friend zone dudes and orbiters fall into.

here's the solution and it's so easy, ignore her from now on, say NO to everything she asks, tell her your busy, ignore her phone calls. your seeing other girls.

a couple weeks go by and she'll text you because she wants the little pity validation high she gets from her dogs.

hey, what you doing (;?

did you leave?

are u bored of me now?

how you been?

want to get a drink?

all you have to do is just say your busy, and no to everything she says.

start off the scam by saying to her now, "hey no hard feelings but I'm really busy lately and don't have time to talk anymore, not mad at you u but it's for the best, thnx!"

you'd be surprised how you can turn **** around by simply saying no, my exs car broke down in the middle of no where last week with her friends going dtown.. a girl that mentaly raped fvcked me for along time and she called randomly begging for help (I'm a mechanic)

"nooo sorry I'm going out tonight don't have time sry bye."

ends up blowing my phone up for hours comes over and I fvcked her twice.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Absolutely. But we are all human and at a basic level, rejection will never feel nice. You can be the most succesful, alfa, call it what you want person, when someone rejects you, it doesn't feel nice. And in some twisted way, to be a DJ, you have to keep expectations low, run with the motors on minimum speed and sometimes that hinders your capacity to feel things fully. However, personally I know when to let myself go and up to what point so that I enjoy things quite well, but so that I can give up on them when other people's feelings change or **** hits the fan.

It amazes me that men of obvious strength can be so easily 'unbalanced' by the rejection of a woman that they may not even hardly know. To me, this smacks of ego. First, it is the ego that feels rejected, and then ego reinforced again with the advice to build a wall, or a strategy, whereby the impact of that is lessened.

None of this is necessary with lack of ego. Some form of philosophical or religious belief is useful here as without it we see to be at the whim of people, not to mention society, around us. When I'm 'rejected', I just take it on the chin and shrug it off.

 

[Macaframalama]

It wasn't ego, nor did I feel any sort of rejection. My initial thought was... Haha. No. She isn't the only thing going. I have about enough time and energy to handle about 6 women at any given time. Usually, sleeping with 1 or 2 and trying to sleep with the others. If one falls out or I happen onto one that I like better or has a higher level of interest, one from the rotation will get dropped. What is in my mind, is sort of a "culling" process. No ego, no emotion involved for someone I barely know, just business as usual. I do it anyway to a degree as is. What is in my mind is thinning the herd, until only those of the highest pedigree remain.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

This all just sounds a little callous.

Just as we have calluses on our hands, so too they can develop on the 'soul'. But then I am old school... of the gentlemen school of game.

 

[Macaframalama]

This all just sounds a little callous.

Just as we have calluses on our hands, so too they can develop on the 'soul'. But then I am old school... of the gentlemen school of game.

I respect that. I feel my life is pretty full and I'm blessed enough to have people that love me and I'm able to trust and vice versa. Anyone new i allow into my life and around those people in my life would have to be pretty special. I guess in a way, I am trying not to taint what I have. We obviously, only have a finite amount of time. The new ppl we allow into our lives take up some of our time that could be spent further investing in those solid relationships or finding a better qualified potential love interest. That's my logic anyways. I could be missing the boat completely though.

 

[guru1000]

So, bih reaches out after about a week or so after she says... "Hold on, let me fill charts real quick" and she would get back to me. This is the second or third time she has said one thing and done another. She sends me a friend request on FB today and I messaged her and told her that I would save us both the time and let her find someone else to orbit her and I don't need anyone new in my life that says one thing and does another. And it's true, as I'm prepared to be alone for long periods of time if need be. The men in my "tribe" would never be afraid to question my behavior and vice versa, so why put up with it from a woman? I appreciate any opinions and unthought angles I'm missing. It's not something I am blindly doing out of anger or frustration, as I have made many bad decisions due to rage, but rather a gut feeling, that I should hold anyone and everyone up to standard, that could possibly enter my life on such an intimate level.

I would do nothing. End result is the same, but there is a certain emotional investment within the need of the final word. I wouldn't give her that pleasure nor expend my time to entertain that "closure."

Best response is silence. When in doubt (in social interactions), do nothing.