"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Would you kick Pamela Anderson out of bed?

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Sho-No-Luv

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Hep C.

Nuff said!
 

Thorninmyside

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Nigella Lawson is 50+ and I would smash her everyday and twice on Sunday.
 

glass half full

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I see she has a recipe for Grasshopper Pie...is that how Carridine passed? lol
Nevermind, just joking. I know David's story. sad.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Billtx49

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A piece is a piece, and her bod still looks decent for her age. Only way I would kick her out is if I wanted a sammich afterwards.
 

highSpeed

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Just.....too......80s. Look at those teeth man, huge.slabs of space shuttle material.

I know we get laughed at for British teeth but the reverse is true from our side. Those teeth are intimidating....they fit the skull of a 6ft 5 man.
I've got to call BS on this one. If she came up putting that vag in your face, you'd pound it, you know you would. Old or young, would you want to marry her? No, probably not but would you want to pound it? Especially if you have gone without for a good bit? H*ll yes you would. It's the military effect. When I've been out in the field for a good bit, any female would look good enough just about.
 

highSpeed

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It was a joke, you don't call BS on a joke.

Is your wit high speed? It doesn't appear so!
so you put up a post with no hint or wink, type it up with no emotive direction one way or the other and someone takes you seriously and they are the dunce? Look again tool, look again.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

highSpeed

Master Don Juan
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Are you autistic?

It's called dry British wit. I could think of 1000 women I would bang before her.

Given my standard is anyone 18-45 and female, yes, I most probably would have sex with her if I found a way of time-travelling. I am talking in relative perving terms and I do not like those teeth.

I don't recall postulating she isn't fvckworthy. You've made that connection yourself.
idiotic comments are what passes for british wit? that would explain why you're so obtuse. cherio british humor loving half-wit. go back to your regularly scheduled stupidity or I'll fart in your general direction.
 

speed dawg

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Sho-No-Luv

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Pre- Tommy Lee widening her gash and filling her with diseases she was something else. Now, just another hag.
Right, right. She looks terrible!

4266490A00000578-0-image-m-110_1500236133208.jpg
 

PantyWhisperer

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The pants aren't flattering, but I'd still hit that, based on this pic and minus the Hep-C.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zekko

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She's 50 ffs. What do we expect?
I never found her appealing either. Now she's 50. If she just looked 50, I would probably be okay with that, but she's got that bad plastic surgery look. Too much botox in the lips, and I've never been a fan of fake boobs. I bet those things on her chest are hard as rocks.
 

FairShake

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I don't mind an older woman at all.

But an older woman with a feline face and bad bolt ons does nothing for me.
 

sazc

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I've met her. 15 years ago Her makeup is caked on, it looks great in pictures but, even then, you could tell she looked more than shriveled underneath it all.

I can't imagine what she looks like close up, make up or not, these days.
 

Billtx49

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I've met her. 15 years ago Her makeup is caked on, it looks great in pictures but, even then, you could tell she looked more than shriveled underneath it all.

I can't imagine what she looks like close up, make up or not, these days.
Hope you know you just ruined my fantasy lay…
I'll have to turn the lights off now.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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