"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Tips on seducing the elderly

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Dirtygoat

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Good day gentlemen.

Are there any useful tips I can acquire from this website on seducing the elderly? Perhaps out of their retirement savings, pensions, or grandchildren's funds?

I was thinking of becoming an orderly in a nursing home or home care provider or even cold call scamming them for easy pickings.

I'm not looking to get my hooves caught in the cookie jar. White knights keep your morals out of this thread.


DirtyGoat
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SadoMasochrist

SadoMasochrist

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You do realize they already have laws against this stuff right? This was a hot thing to be into like 10 years ago. Not only are you a whanabe criminal, you're a a whanabe hasbeen criminal poser.
 
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Dirtygoat

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SadoMasochrist said:
You do realize they already have laws against this stuff right? This was a hot thing to be into like 10 years ago. Not only are you a whanabe criminal, you're a a whanabe hasbeen criminal poser.
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I'm not looking to fornicate with them. Just seduce them out of their life savings.

They can't hold on to money forever. Might as well share the wealth with a man who showers them with praise, affirmations, company and paid for good looks.

Don't be a killjoy.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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kronreiff

kronreiff

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Dirtygoat said:
Good day gentlemen.

Are there any useful tips I can acquire from this website on seducing the elderly? Perhaps out of their retirement savings, pensions, or grandchildren's funds?

I was thinking of becoming an orderly in a nursing home or home care provider or even cold call scamming them for easy pickings.

I'm not looking to get my hooves caught in the cookie jar. White knights keep your morals out of this thread.


DirtyGoat
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Seducing the elderly out of their savings? You should be banned from SS and any other forums that you posted this BS criminal crap on!
 
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Dirtygoat

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kronreiff said:
Seducing the elderly out of their savings? You should be banned from SS and any other forums that you posted this BS criminal crap on!
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Spare us the guilt trip sonny.

Let's not pretend the dwellers of this forum have never tried to lift a few extra bucks out of their grannies purse.

None of you are boy scouts.
 
SadoMasochrist

SadoMasochrist

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"Let's not pretend the dwellers of this forum have never tried to lift a few extra bucks out of their grannies purse."

I think we were all salty reading this, but now this is ****ing hilarious. 10\10 troll.
 
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