"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Anyone try the Bumble App yet?
- Thread starter Urbanyst
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,539
- Reaction score
- 11,498
99% of the first messages women send on Bumble all say "Hey, how are you?" That's a lot of work to come up with isn't it? lol
Do you use Bumble?
I've used it a couple times. good point you bring up. I was more just saying in general women want to be guided. They never want to be to leader in the interaction. By her sending the first message she assumes that responsibility of leading. Now, that may work at the begining, but unless you change the frame and lead the interaction that "hi, how are you." goes from *possible sexual partner* to *plutonic LJBF*
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
Yeah, womens' concept of "putting in work" is not the same as mens'. Work for men is planning encounters, escalating properly, making jokes, keeping a conversation going, having the right pictures, and so on. For women, it's contacting the man first by saying "hi" to signal her approval of him starting to put work into her.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Tinder seemed to have more fake profiles and prostitutes.
But I've only been on Bumble for about 24 hours now, so can't give much if a review yet.
OKC is free, but you have to pay if you want to see who likes you or something stupid like that.
For some reason OKC worked better for me when I was in my mid 20's. I tried again last year and it was horrible. Didn't get a single date out of it. Which is odd because I'm in better shape now and my dating pool is larger.
It also had more fatties and trash than before. My guess is the hottest women always go to the newest and hippest dating site/app. Probably why Tinder has more trash than Bubble too.
Glassguy
Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2016
- Messages
- 4,789
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- 8,861
- Age
- 49
I haven't had ANY fake profiles or spam on bumble. Tinder, in this area, is full of them.
Tonight I went out with a solid 8 from bumble.
Glassguy 1
Bumble 0
Winning
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
FwoGiZ
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2017
- Messages
- 234
- Reaction score
- 112
If only I lived in a big city
I am going back home in a month so we'll see there but population is not much bigger... just less hippies, more trash...
NSX-R
Master Don Juan
Glassguy
Moderator
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- Apr 25, 2016
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- 4,789
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- 8,861
- Age
- 49
I've been tearing it up on bumble. Tinder sucks
This app is awesome for plate spinning. I'm loving it.
I keep getting new matches every week, while I text and date my old matches.
I won't say this replaces the cold approach, but its a great substitute when you don't have time to cold approach.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
hockeyfreak79
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2013
- Messages
- 1,038
- Reaction score
- 337
Been on maybe 2 weeks. I've read in some place there's lots of spammers/bots like Tinder but damn that's not the case were I live. I usually pass up on OLD now that it's Spring and patio season but I won't with the messages I've seen.
Bro just curious, don't you have a lot of money and are doing very very well in your finances?
If so, why are downloading dating apps to match with women? Unless you put in your profile 'I'm rich."
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2014
- Messages
- 3,621
- Reaction score
- 2,624
Not only do women have to send the first message but they have to do it within the first 24 hours. If they don't, the match disappears.
Unlike tinder where women just have to sit back and matches can sit there for decades.
Solomon
Master Don Juan
I know a guy 39, lean not muscular but he has "that look"
In the midwest looking like this will get you toons of poon
He's slaying girls left and right
as for myself? Bumble has been a complete failure
Lol what a stupid question.Bro just curious, don't you have a lot of money and are doing very very well in your finances?
If so, why are downloading dating apps to match with women? Unless you put in your profile 'I'm rich."
Why are HOT women on dating apps? These apps are for everyone. They are not just for losers and fat girls.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.