"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Decent OLD opening message?

IBreatheSpears

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I can't be fúcked to come up with "clever" openers (fúcking r/Tinder makes me cringe) so I'm just being straight up and slightly sexual. So is this a decent opener? This is on OKC but I'm gonna adapt it for tinder next time I get a match, make it a bit shorter. What do you think? Obviously it didn't work on this girl but it got her to be up-front rather than ignoring me. (I sent it to 10-20 chicks today, a few others viewed my profile but didn't reply.)
 

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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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btownbuck2012

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In my opinion coming across too forward like that is perceived by alot of these women as being inexperienced. You're sucking the tension out of everything. The only time you can act like that, again based on what's worked for me in the past, is after sex. Before you have to let that tension build whether it's asking for a number, taking her out to dinner, suggesting a second date closer to your place, suggesting you go back to your place for a drink. Never explicitly ask for what you want until after sex or it sucks the fun out of everything.
 

IBreatheSpears

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"hi how are you" That's all you need
Idk man, I've seen girls using OKC and they get a hundred of these messages and they just skim over when they see something like "hey what's up..." without opening the full message or looking at the guy's profile. Maybe they are judging from the profile picture, but it's pretty tiny in that view. You would have to be super-Chad to get responses from that. Maybe they were self-conscious with me being nearby and this isn't their typical behaviour but I doubt that.

ask them an interesting open ended question. Something more than "Hey sexy" because I feel like almost every guy with a pulse writes that.
Agreed! That's why I'm trying to be more interesting as well as filter out girls who want to play games. I should ask them something though, you're right, I'll have a think about it.

In my opinion coming across too forward like that is perceived by alot of these women as being inexperienced. You're sucking the tension out of everything. The only time you can act like that, again based on what's worked for me in the past, is after sex. Before you have to let that tension build whether it's asking for a number, taking her out to dinner, suggesting a second date closer to your place, suggesting you go back to your place for a drink. Never explicitly ask for what you want until after sex or it sucks the fun out of everything.
With this message I was trying to just be straight-up and basically just manly: forward about what I want and not afraid to ask for it. This is what seems to work for natural "alphas". But you're right, I should think about being more intriguing/challenging. Thanks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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KingofPuss

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I think it was ok. Remove the "cute af" line, and delete everything after grab a couple of drinks. Women are not ever going to agree to make out with you on the first message you send them, unless you're brad pitt or some celebrity.

Replace the cute af line with something like "You seem friendly and fun". Keep it light and don't just say you like her for her looks
 

ubercat

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I'll channel ESpi here. Pick their sluttiest photo and say you liked it and they seemed friendly and fun. That's sneaking in the sexy vibe without having to kill the mood.

And remember that most net chicks are crazy. And they come in runs. Some weeks you'll get no replies other weeks your inbox will explode.

And just to revisit the basics rotating your pics around will definitely increase your hits. Nobody reads profiles it's all about the pics
 

logicallefty

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"Hey how goes it? You have an interesting profile. If you'd like to shoot the sh!t message me before the 32nd of the month "
 

logicallefty

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If she has brown eyes:

"They say the eyes are a glass window into the soul. I can see into yours and I see brown. So Are you full of sh!t or wearing brown contacts? Hit me up if you'd like to chat!"
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Young OG

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I think your opener is to long. Come up with a funny, one sentence opener, that's a question. They will laugh and give you a answer to the question you asked.

I've experimented with lots of different openers on OLD and a funny question always gets the most responses. Unfortunately, I can't give you my opener. Good luck.
 

logicallefty

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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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xstang77

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There isn't really some magical line to open with, it's either gonna happen or not as long as you use somewhat common sense in the first message. Most of them are self entitled single moms so who wants to pull secondhand garbage anyway. I got bored last week and messaged one for fun to see if i could get a rise out of her and it worked, I ended up getting humor out of it too.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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