"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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2 dates went great. Suddenly went sorta cold?

CMNILS87

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Went back to her place after setting a date Wednesday messed around. Didnt fvck but im sure next 1 or 2 dates i should seal the deal. Dont understand her hot and cold behavior though?
Just ignore it. Let her text/snap blah blah. dont let it get to you, just ignore her ploys for attention. Keep minimal contact till datenight

@Ryan Adams. Case in point,
1. 1 plate sent me a sex video of her getting off
2. Plate 2 sent me a sexy pic this morning telling me to have a good day.

I hadn't texted either of those girls in the last 3 days. They try to re establish contact because I create anxiety in turn by not texting or responding. Let her "hamster" run wild between dates.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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sazc

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I keep contact low in between dates. Its working.
OMG thank you for finally getting it! Listen to these men. They are telling you what is going on and giving you good advice.

Ignore her snaps, text to bare minimum. Next text should be the day of the date, no more than 6 hours b4 the date, to confirm unless she texts you first to confirm. If she tries to text chat, respond with no more than two responses (one line only) and, if she still texts, tell her you are busy and will catch up on everything at the date.

If she keeps d1cking you around you need to next. In the meantime, go approach other girls.

You said earlier "when I like a chick my behavior...blah blah blah" Let's be clear, you dont "like" this chick, you barely know her. What you like is the attention and the possibility of sechs. That's perfectly fine. just keep that in perspective. If you arent getting reasonable behavior and responses from any female, move on quickly, it's not worth the waste of time.
 

bigneil

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Guys, if you've ever dated two really hot women at the same time you will notice something: you will always like one best.

Therefore, the other one can be great in almost every way, but when she texts you, you're not that excited to hear from her. You might not follow up with her when she tentatively suggests you get together this weekend. That doesn't mean the other girl isn't hot. That doesn't mean you have low interest. It means she is not AS hot (to you, now). It means you have LOWER interest (for the time being). The other girl might actually be a much better girl, but if you already have feelings for the first one, you will still prefer her (for the short term anyhow). On the other hand, if your favorite mistreats you even slightly, you will have no problem starting a relationship with the other one. You'll also notice that when you avoid the other one this way, it only makes her like you more.

Realize that when you are dating a hot girl this is what their situation is like, times ten.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Ryan Adams

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Ok so wed we messed around finally everything went good. After that contact was cut to a minimum. Like im talkin almost none. I have no scheduled date set up at this point. I figured she would be hittin me up more now. Any idea on this?
 

sazc

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Ok so wed we messed around finally everything went good. After that contact was cut to a minimum. Like im talkin almost none. I have no scheduled date set up at this point. I figured she would be hittin me up more now. Any idea on this?
Yea, my idea is 'dont dwell on it'. dont spin the hamster wheel about it. get out, do things, look for other girls to ask out.

Figure out when you want to see her next and text her and say "let's do <activity> on <day> at <time>" she should either say yes or, if she cant, counter with another day/time.

Keep text chat to a minimum so you will have things to talk about on your date. You dont have to ignore, just dont be a total open book.
 

Ryan Adams

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Good idea im gonna give it a day or 2 before i text her and ask if she wants to do something this week
 

sazc

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Good idea im gonna give it a day or 2 before i text her and ask if she wants to do something this week
be specific. Dont ask "do you want to do something this week" text and say "let's do <x activity> on <x day> at <x time>, are you free?" Her response shold either be yes, or she should counter with a day and time if she cant

In the meantime, if she texts you, respond but dont write her a novel
 

Ryan Adams

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Why do you think she hasnt really iniated since the other day after we messed around? Anything i should be worried about
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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marmel75

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Anyone have an idea?
Yes, like we have been saying throughout this thread, she isn't that interested. You seem to be in denial of this fact. Find other women and stop worrying about this one.
 

sazc

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Anyone have an idea?
Ryan, you are really sounding insecure. It makes me think you are putting all your eggs in one basket. no bueno, my friend, no bueno.

My suggestion to you is that you stop fixating on this chick, start meeting other chicks, be open to the possiblities surrounding all chicks and, most importantly, read the DJ bible
 

Ryan Adams

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Im trying to talk to other woman fellas! but im diggin this one hard. I am on the pursuit of other females though im not just sitting in my room thinking about this one. I will admit im focused on her more though. Ok i texted her a little bit about something then asked her about a date next week. She answered me wrote me something but skipped over the date. Shes done this before though. Should i go full no contact or in a day or two bring up the date thing again? After the 4th date and im still getting yhese vibes im outta here but i still wanna give this a shot.
 

marmel75

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Im trying to talk to other woman fellas! but im diggin this one hard. I am on the pursuit of other females though im not just sitting in my room thinking about this one. I will admit im focused on her more though. Ok i texted her a little bit about something then asked her about a date next week. She answered me wrote me something but skipped over the date. Shes done this before though. Should i go full no contact or in a day or two bring up the date thing again? After the 4th date and im still getting yhese vibes im outta here but i still wanna give this a shot.
And this in a nutshell is why most men do so poorly at dating.

They spend 95% of their time being unproductive trying to convince uninterested women to be more interested instead of spending that time efficiently going out and finding women who are interested.

You are spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere. She is not interested. If she was she would act interested. That's a base rule for dealing with women.

Interested women act interested.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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marmel75

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What about if they play hard to get?
Use some damn sense bro. Stop believing bullish!t you've been taught.

You think a woman who is highly interested is going to risk losing a guy to another woman when she wants him herself? Hell no.

Women are highly competitive in that area. Why do you think women dress to the Nine's when going out? It's not for guys, it's so they can look at other women and be like "Yeah, b!tch...that's right...I look better than you and your man wants me."

Stop living in fantasyland and come back to reality.

If you don't want to heed our advice that's fine, but stop making stupid ass excuses to justify what you want to do.
 

CMNILS87

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Im trying to talk to other woman fellas! but im diggin this one hard. I am on the pursuit of other females though im not just sitting in my room thinking about this one. I will admit im focused on her more though. Ok i texted her a little bit about something then asked her about a date next week. She answered me wrote me something but skipped over the date. Shes done this before though. Should i go full no contact or in a day or two bring up the date thing again? After the 4th date and im still getting yhese vibes im outta here but i still wanna give this a shot.
Women that want to date you and like you will not make you confused about what they want
 

Ryan Adams

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Well she started blowing my phone up and i said i sometimeeeeees feel like your giving me the runaround lol. Those exact words. She then said im sorry but this isnt gonna work blah blah blah she doesnt have time to date. So you fellas were completely right. Fvking btch
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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