A 'Soft Next' can work wonders if you have her investment (where you remove yourself immediately after unacceptable behavior and ignore any attempts from her to make contact for 3-14 days or until an acceptable apology). But with
most girls you're fighting an uphill battle--her 'boundaries' towards men were determined by her relationship with her father and reinforced through whatever relationships/social conditioning she's had since then--and you're better off setting your frame from the start, holding it throughout, and starting over with someone else using what you've learned instead of trying to apply it retroactively to an already unbalanced dynamic. Yes, you can
temporarily alleviate negative symptoms; I was able to do this pretty effectively with my BPDex on 3-4 occasions, which kept the relationship on a positive trajectory for most of 2 years--but by that point the relationship's already infected, the weakness is already there, and you'll forever be treating the virus instead of finding a cure (which is quarantine lol).
I mention setting frames from the start. What does that look like? When I screen a girl for relationship material I know that past the honeymoon phase:
- I won't feel like texting her everyday
- I won't want to be around her all the time
- I'll have times where I'll need my space
- I'll want her to still have a social life independent from mine (so I won't go all mate-guardy, you can't hang out with your friends, will there be guys there? since I'd literally rather have her cheat on me than to become her babysitter everything)
- There are things that are OK for me to do, but not for her
- My purpose is THE purpose--my life trajectory is to be hers for as long as she decides to tag along
- I don't deal with jealousy/nagging/insecurity/manipulation/sexual withdrawal
It's much easy to set these expectations
from the moment you meet her!!!! than it is to build it in later when a tacitly understood arrangement of the relationship is already in place. A lot of guys get caught up in the good feels of the honeymoon phase and don't think about longterm sustainability. By the time they wake up from all the dopamine & oxytocin and try to set these boundaries the woman will obviously balk or bail, since you're removing access--she's being downgraded. Same goes for ONS/FB/Plates. A lot of guys set a frame where, to the girl, it feels like she's on a relationship trajectory. And then they wonder why she goes dramatic, cold, etc. when she realizes you've renegged on the initial sales push.
The sooner and more accurately you can categorize girls, the better--but in the meantime keep access to a minimum. Everything needs to be earned, not given--and her compliance will be the highest early on. Make following your boundaries fun--she literally has any thousands of dudes who'll
not hold her to hardly any boundary whatsoever--so pulling a huffy puffy,
I won't tolerate any disrepect. Look at me, I'm ready to walk away, is a losing play. If you're always ready to walk away, she'll pick up on it (and if you're not, your boundaries don't mean sh1t). Make your frame and your rules part of the flirting process. Create a playground for the girl so that she can see what flies and what doesn't. She might playfully see what she can get away with but will quickly apologize and qualify, to the extent she fears losing you. And you should playfully dominate her (don't get all butt hurt over flirtiness) but make it extremely clear the moment she crosses any lines by correcting her or removing access. So it becomes a sort of role-play or dress rehearsal that she can use to get a sense of what your expectations are without any huge repercussions. By the time disrespect is real and overt, it's probably too late to ever have the kind of relationship you want.