"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Can it be too late to set boundaries?
- Thread starter El Payaso
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I don't believe you can reset boundaries, if you aren't strong enough to set clear boundaries at the start of a relationship, then you shouldn't be in one.
A guy I know is testament to this. His relationship is doomed to fail because he is getting his frame back but his GF isn't really changing. How can he legimately lead her when she has led him down a merry dance already?
He paid her to renovate his house (Me & everyone else told him this was fvcking stupid.) and a year and a half later it still isn't finished.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
You don't have to "make" or "force" someone to respect you, they either do or they don't.
It is never too late to put your foot down. If it is a brand new boundary and you let her know it wont be tolerated, there is nothing wrong with that. Now if she doesn't respect you she may not respect the new boundary. Then you need to kick her to rhe curb
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
This is the type of question a man asks when he is NOT willing to walk away from a toxic woman.
Do your legs work? Use them. Spin plates. If a woman refuses to give you the relationship you want.. then ask yourself what you're sticking around for. Time is valuable. Don't waste it on disrespectful c*nts.
Hypergamy is real. Learn to recognize when a woman/relationship has reached the expiration date and move on. That gallon of milk in the fridge WILL expire some day. Don't be surprised by it and don't try to reverse it. Find another gallon of milk that's fresh. Disney movies teach us "Love is forever". That is why so many men are faggots and expect women to be consistent.
MEN: Understand that every woman you date for a long period of time WILL change on you. Usually not for the better. The price of her p*ssy will rise and she will offer less while expecting more. This is what I call the "expiration date". Keeping women past their expiration date is a sign of desperation and lack of options. Learn to leave when its over. Its over once the relationship is no longer on YOUR TERMS. This can be after a week or after several years.
I mention setting frames from the start. What does that look like? When I screen a girl for relationship material I know that past the honeymoon phase:
- I won't feel like texting her everyday
- I won't want to be around her all the time
- I'll have times where I'll need my space
- I'll want her to still have a social life independent from mine (so I won't go all mate-guardy, you can't hang out with your friends, will there be guys there? since I'd literally rather have her cheat on me than to become her babysitter everything)
- There are things that are OK for me to do, but not for her
- My purpose is THE purpose--my life trajectory is to be hers for as long as she decides to tag along
- I don't deal with jealousy/nagging/insecurity/manipulation/sexual withdrawal
The sooner and more accurately you can categorize girls, the better--but in the meantime keep access to a minimum. Everything needs to be earned, not given--and her compliance will be the highest early on. Make following your boundaries fun--she literally has any thousands of dudes who'll not hold her to hardly any boundary whatsoever--so pulling a huffy puffy, I won't tolerate any disrepect. Look at me, I'm ready to walk away, is a losing play. If you're always ready to walk away, she'll pick up on it (and if you're not, your boundaries don't mean sh1t). Make your frame and your rules part of the flirting process. Create a playground for the girl so that she can see what flies and what doesn't. She might playfully see what she can get away with but will quickly apologize and qualify, to the extent she fears losing you. And you should playfully dominate her (don't get all butt hurt over flirtiness) but make it extremely clear the moment she crosses any lines by correcting her or removing access. So it becomes a sort of role-play or dress rehearsal that she can use to get a sense of what your expectations are without any huge repercussions. By the time disrespect is real and overt, it's probably too late to ever have the kind of relationship you want.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Once boundaries have been blown out the water the relationship is generally dead anyway, move on to the next one.
The point isn't to force anyone to respect you, it is to respect yourself and only keep people in your life who act in kind.
When I wasn't willing to walk away from women in my AFC days I got walked all over. Now I respect myself, I don't.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
My biggest vice is tone of voice. If a girl starts acting b*tchy and talks 'in that way' I will usually call her out on it and it usually stops. I've even had some dudes tell me 'I was being too harsh' on telling her to not talk to me like that but I completely disagree.
Respecting your boundaries is the relationship. If she doesn't respect your boundaries then you mean nothing to her and you are nothing but entertainment for her.
Respect = relationship. No respect. No relationship.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
The minute some woman starts acting up I walk away. If she really likes you she'll straighten up... if she doesn't there are other women.
Women are not FVCKING stupid. She knows you better than you know yourself. Telling her you are upset with her behavior and why is a waste of time because she already knows.... and she is doing it anyway. Think about THAT, before you have some whiney needy @ss chick-like BS tea party.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
I disagree with you on something for once,
Sometimes women need to be put in their place. If you walk away, instead of confrontation, you're kind of allowing her to do it in the future because she doesn't know what she did explicitly. Realistically speaking, most guys who don't say anything and leave usually end up coming back when she reaches out.
But this isn't to say that once you call her out on it, and she does it again, you shouldn't walk away.
This is how feminism basically started, men walked away from their stupidity, rather than telling them to stop being stupid. Now you have a massive organization of what a terrible relationship would be, the woman ignoring basically everything.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Waste of time trying to put women in their place... I'm not a chick's FVCKING Father.
For every man like you out there trying to set things straight there are 10 weak @ss boys that are willing to kiss her feet for a shot at her pvssy. Any good you MIGHT do will get undone by her Facebook male orbiters who will join gladly in bashing you for being mean to her.
Sorry dude... that is the truth of things.
Yep. 'Support' network step in if they haven't already encouraged her to cross the line. Loosing fvcking battle.
I often wonder whether they learn or just go more underground/on to someone they can push the boundaries further with.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
Women generally lean towards figures of authority and power, like their father.
I'm not saying to sit down and have a discussion on 'why what she did was bad' but a simple 'don't do that again' or 'stop right now' and if she does again, THEN you walk away. Her orbiters and female friends are the ones that will sit down and discuss why she was told not do something.
Orbiters bashing a girlfriends boyfriend is a bad move to make. I used to be that guy and I never got the girl in the end. Now whenever a girl complains about her boyfriend to me, for whatever reason, I either don't take it seriously or say that it isn't as bad as she thinks. This has gotten me far more positive results because women generally say and do what they feel and regret it the next day.
So bashing her boyfriend with her is not a good idea because she will still be with him tomorrow with a completely different view towards him.
Women's role are to submit, she says or does something you do not like you shoot it right down. She doesn't like it, then you leave.
Its never too late to retract your attention or leave
That's how you set boundaries. By being 100% willing to walk away. Always. Problem is most guys are too afraid and insecure to pull this off
Tell her once when she disrespects you, if she continues... later. No arguing, no debating. Kindly excuse yourself like nothing happened and do something else, with another girl
No point in trying to fix a girl's behavior broken behavior
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.