Thoughts appreciated

[playa99]

I am pretty buzzed right now and my thought process is clouded.

Me and my gf went to a party tonight. Her ex fwb was there, it ended in this guy introducing himself to me. It didn't take me long after he had left to put together who he was as my gf had told me in the past.

I am fvcked off with this and my gf knows I am, she is sleeping in the guest bedroom atm because I am p!ssed off. I don't want to be seeing ex's and if I do, I want a warning.

Am I over reacting ?

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I am pretty buzzed right now and my thought process is clouded.

Me and my gf went to a party tonight. Her ex fwb was there, it ended in this guy introducing himself to me. It didn't take me long after he had left to put together who he was as my gf had told me in the past.

I am fvcked off with this and my gf knows I am, she is sleeping in the guest bedroom atm because I am p!ssed off. I don't want to be seeing ex's and if I do, I want a warning.

Am I over reacting ?

It depends on what her reaction was. If she pushed him away or politely declined, don't worry about it.

If she ate it up and fed off the drama, was smiling, allowed him to talk to her even for a minute, she should be punished. It should be a week before you let her so much as touch you. Sounds like she enjoyed it from your reaction. You did the right thing putting her on the couch. I'd send her home, but if she's there groveling at your feet soak it up and make her work for it.

There needs to be a zero tolerance policy for her being "friendly" with an ex-anything. Because naturally he's going to text her, and the only acceptable thing for her to do is to ignore it or tell him to stop. This is a stupid little trick women play by making you sound like the insecure one, when she is stoking the flames and disturbing equilibrium for no reason. Say no to it.

God this brings back awful memories..

 

[SeymourCake]

Why are you in a relationship with someone who had a fwb in the past?

 

[Jetleg]

Either way sounds like she is a wh0re.

I'd go NC for a while just to see how she reacts, but dont make a scence about it.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

Why are you in a relationship with someone who had a fwb in the past?

^

 

[Julian]

Why are you in a relationship with someone who had a fwb in the past?

LMAO good luck finding a girl who never has had a fwb...these bishes are having abortions at 12 years of age already. every female you find is gonna have some miles on her

 

[playa99]

The whole 'you should date a Virgin' talk is boring. Get past 18 and a woman is going to have some mileage, it would be weirder for her to have zero mileage.

I am still deciding what to do with the relationship. I will not have someone whose first instinct isn't to be unequivocally honest. Equally, aside from this the relationship is great.

 

[ThePasses]

I am pretty buzzed right now and my thought process is clouded.

Me and my gf went to a party tonight. Her ex fwb was there, it ended in this guy introducing himself to me. It didn't take me long after he had left to put together who he was as my gf had told me in the past.

I am fvcked off with this and my gf knows I am, she is sleeping in the guest bedroom atm because I am p!ssed off. I don't want to be seeing ex's and if I do, I want a warning.

Am I over reacting ?

I think you're overreacting. I really don't see what the problem is. Now if you and that guy are in the same soccer, flag football, or softball league or something and he's always cracking jokes about the stuff he used to do to her well then maybe you have a point about her not briefing you. Or if he's so hideous looking to the point that you're disgusted that she'd have a FWB who looks like him, I'm with you. Besides that though, I don't understand your aggravation. If she had told you, how would that have changed the way you interacted with the guy or what the two of them have already done in the past? She did introduce you as her man right?

And what if you go with her to a party thrown by her job in the future or a school reunion? Is she supposed to point out EVERY guy and/or girl she did anything with? Are you going to want their contact info as well so you can compare their accounts to hers in an attempt to see if she is being Unequivocally Honest?

You're currently with her and claim to be happy. Unless she said she was a virgin before she met you, you gotta figure that you're gonna run into somebody she did SOMETHING with when you go to gatherings full of her acquaintances or a nightspot that she frequents.

 

[ubercat]

Do agree with the having some warning. Depends on whether or not she knew he would be there. Trouble is now you can't ask or you will look even more butthurt.

And seriously guys anyone who is over the age of 18 and on this site has probably had FWBs. Double standard much?

 

[playa99]

With the benefit of time I know I am not over reacting. Being buzzed at the time had a lot to do with this post.

She did not know he was coming, the guy is lucky I didn't lay him out. The only reason i didn't is out of respect for the guys house the party was at.

When he did come, she should have said. Instead she tried to not tell me and hoped nothing would come of it.

I will not have disrespect in my life, period! She's going to get read the riot act again tonight and if she isn't 100% compliant, she's out.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Where the hell do you live, Cairo! I live in a small town and am well-known, and have been social for a long time. If my girlfriends had a **** fit every time we bumped into an ex-girlfriend I would never be brave enough to go to a party.

You sound like you have just shown your girlfriend you are insecure and how easy it is to push your buttons.

Correct response=IDGAF. You are hitting it now. She could have a giant party with every boyfriend she has ever had there. SFW. You are the one she is seeing at the moment. Mate guarding or getting butthurt isnt goi g to help anything.

 

[Fireballs]

Need more info about what happened at the party and her behaviour but sounds like you are over-reacting

 

[RangerMIke]

Getting angry is pointless. It gets you nowhere, if you are expecting loyalty from women you are on a path of disappointment. If she is flirting with other dudes and otherwise acting like this... then all this means is for some reason she does not think you are meeting her needs. It does not mean that you are doing anything wrong, because it could be that she only "FEELS" like you aren't being all you can be... it could be complete BS.... But women are emotional, so if 'feels' like you did something wrong... you did.

There is nothing you can do about this. You can not expect women to all the sudden start acting like men. When they start acting and doing things that make you un-happy the universe is telling you to walk away.... go date other women.

 

[playa99]

@Espi as usual is on the money! This guy was just trying to throw a spanner in the works.

To provide more context she was on her last warning prior to this for not acting respectful and my main condition was to be up front, regardless of whether it is a bit uncomfortable. She knew that and knows she didn't fulfill that condition, hence why she is terrified we are going to break up now.

It is behaviour symptomatic of events which nearly caused us to break up. I wasn't in a great place then and I am now. It is literally the first situation like this since then and she acts the same way.

This situation on its own is no big deal, something we all encounter. It is her behaviour exclusively which is my issue.

 

[The Duke]

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see that anybody did anything wrong. Sounds like a little over reaction on your part, but hey I'm a highly confident person and very secure with who I am so I don't get concerned about stuff like this. If he is a threat, it will all come out eventually. As long as she is still fuhking you with the same passion as she always has, then no big deal.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

Hmm, so she didn't know he was coming right?

What exactly did he say to you?

What exactly did she say to you when you asked her about it?

Yea, so far I think you might be overreacting..

Need more info dude

 

[SeymourCake]

LMAO good luck finding a girl who never has had a fwb...these bishes are having abortions at 12 years of age already. every female you find is gonna have some miles on her

LMAO good luck not finding a girl who will treat you like another fwb

 

[Tenacity]

The whole 'you should date a Virgin' talk is boring. Get past 18 and a woman is going to have some mileage, it would be weirder for her to have zero mileage.

I 100% agree, but remember this is Sosuave and as I have pointed out in other threads.....most of these guys live in a Cartoon Fantasy world where there are:

- These one dimensional guys called "Alpha Males" who can quote, unquote "get any girl they want" because they quote, unquote "walk around life doing whatever the fvck they want," even riding through all red lights and slapping cops in the face if they try to write a ticket...you know....because they are so bad a.ss.

- Then there's the Beta Males who couldn't put a piece of pvssy on lay-away

- Then of course there's the "super, duper, high quality woman" who is 28, no kids, with a master's, good job, and who only had 1 sex partner her entire life and he was from a 10 year relationship that she just so happened to have gotten out of.

But over here in the REAL WORLD where most guys operate, neither of these three "people" fvcking exist!

I am still deciding what to do with the relationship. I will not have someone whose first instinct isn't to be unequivocally honest. Equally, aside from this the relationship is great.

Well, Playa, I always like to "keep it real" so allow me to do so.

The vast majority of women of this market are liars when it comes to romantic relations. That's just what it is. If a chick tells you she had 3 sex partners her entire life, it's usually 3 or 4 times that many. If a chick tells you her ex was sooooo horrible, it's usually that she was just as much a pain in the a.ss as he was.

So every woman you decide to be "committed to", please understand most of them are full of shyt. So you decide to stay committed to them only if:

- You are getting good sex from the relationship on the regular

- She gives you good companionship

- She doesn't disrespect you by fvcking, flirting, or flaunting guys in front of you.

- She doesn't nag, bytch, or have just a bad attitude which fvcks your day up

If she's cool peeps...then roll with it. But I'm telling you right now, the vast majority of women are liars and if you THINK you are going to be with a chick for any period of time from this market and she's not going to flirt or fvck some other guy WHILE being in a relationship with you (dating or married), you are sadly mistaken.

I tell a chick upfront....I know you are going to cheat lol, just don't LET ME CATCH YOU DOING IT. Which means if you do it, you better do is privately, not in my apartment, and not out in the open. Because once she does that, it's disrespectful and at that point I'm cutting it off. Of course the chicks says, "Tenacity...I'm not like that, I don't cheat!"....Yeah, Yeah, Yeah....whatever bytch lol.

 

[Julian]

LMAO good luck not finding a girl who will treat you like another fwb

A man makes his own luck and being a FWB is the best thing a bish can do for me, all the perks without any of the drama.

 

[Tenacity]

A man makes his own luck and being a FWB is the best thing a bish can do for me, all the perks without any of the drama.

I agree, it's why I don't understand why guys still get married. We are getting ALL of the benefits of women already without any of the long term costs such as them eventually becoming unattractive as they age, their nagging, bytching, bad financial management, etc. But when you get married, you have to take on ALL of these things along with other risks.

Why not just enjoy the benefits of women without taking on the costs/risks?