Need advice with a girl

[anderhil]

Hey guys,

I need to have your advice on the situation I have. I just found your forum, while googling some stupid relations questions.

I'm 28 year old guy, I am quite open and date woman from time to time, I cannot say I am super successful, but I am quite confident in dating and I know lot of tricks and lots of them goes for me naturally.

So recently I had business trip in Latin America, and on one party when travelling to another city, I met this girl. I first noticed her, but cause I was not long time in the city, and it looked like she dates another guy, I didn't have time to proceed, so I forgot about her for good.

But one funny thing happened in couple of weeks, when I returned to the city I work I was swiping Tinder, and we accidentally matched Tinder. She liked me and I liked her, but I didn't realize it was her. She recognized me and wrote me first and was really really interested in communicating. I liked her so I proceed to ask her for a meeting and she accepted it.

We hanged out couple of times, I was charming and etc she enjoyed the time, then we had sex. She is 28 too, she was writing to me a lot. Thanking me for the evening, asking me to stay more cause I had flight in couple of days. First I just saw her just to have sex, but she looked very beautiful and quite smart, asking a lot of questions about a lot of things, being curious, and I like such girls, so I was hooked with her.

In couple of days I left. I had to come back in some undefinite time because of work. I knew it would be in a month or two, and I gave her my word to return.
We chatted a lot, everyday asking each other how things are, exchanging photos and etc. However usually I started conversation first, but she also initiated it from time to time saying some sweet words and etc. We had been chatting like this for 1.5 month after I left Latin America.

After 1.5 months chatting, once I decided to check if she will write me first, I made a break of writing for a week, and nothing from her. Then I wrote her and after that she was quite cold with me, all the responses were as she was not interested anymore. Couple of times we had some deeper conversations, where she was telling me something that is happening in her life but most times she wasn't the same.
I didn't want to find out what happened by messaging, and I knew I will come in a month so i wanted to clarify in person.

Just to explain, I haven't had same beautiful smart and curious girl for long time, it was 5 or more years I met smb I thought I might have some future with. I am quite crazy guy, and I could see some future even though the distance is big, but I knew I can somehow handle it if I knew she was the one.

So time has come and I came back for work to Latin America again. I initiated the meeting, although she was still cold, she agreed to come. It was wonderful evening, we again walked a lot, talked a lot, kissed and hugged a lot, and I couldn't find anything showing cold behavior when chatting before.

Next day I wrote her - she was giving me cold shoulder again, I asked her about meeting again - she said she cannot, and it happened another couple of times when I asked to hang out. Of course I was a bit pissed off and couldn't understand what has happened. I couldn't leave it, and probably made mistakes in communicating with her looking needy, trying to find out what the hell happened. I know it was mistake, but for me that time after that good meeting again, with the woman I really like, gave me some hope and then - no signs of the same behavior. I always fight when there is a chance.

I asked for what happened, I wanted to meet to discuss all of this, but she didn't want to, so I had to chat again. She said that she doesn't know about our future, giving every time some different explanations about how she feels and etc. I by the way asked if she has somebody, so we are clear on what is happening, but she said - no, i don't have anybody.

I come to Latin America quite often now, and from our last meeting there's 3 weeks passed. I communicated with her couple of times more, and she was same cold, however once after our discussion she asked me to hang out, but the problem was I couldn't come. I acted like I agree, but the day we had to go out, I said I cannot(she acted same, couple of times when I asked her out after the last meeting), and that was the last conversation we had.

I came back again couple of days ago. I really want to meet her again, I am ready to be persistent and try something more. I don't know why she behaving like that. I know that maybe I have to accept that I lost this battle, but because I cannot find the reason, I cannot accept it. I feel if we meet she wouldn't be able to be same cold.

What can you advice me to do in all this situation? The problem that I still remember things how they were before she was cold, I cannot understand her behavior, she told me different things, from that it won't come to anything because of distance, to that she has some kind of depression and she gets frustrated easily and this is maybe the reason for her behavior.

 

[cola]

Uhhh, she lives in another country and has a boyfriend. Accept it for what it was a one night thing and move on.
She gets frustrated because you dont get the point. Some girls just want to sample you once and go back to their regular routines. My uncle told me he went to latin america recently and had a 5some.. Him and 4 girls for about 200$ USD and they were all hot..
Id take advantage of some of that legal prostituion down there and move on.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women can not make long distance relationships work.

You had a fling, it's fvcking over.... move on, find women where you live. I guarentee that if you open your eyes and make some kind of effort you will find a half dozen women as good as this one within an hour of where you live, if you are in a decent sized city.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Women can not make long distance relationships work.

You had a fling, it's fvcking over.... move on, find women where you live. I guarentee that if you open your eyes and make some kind of effort you will find a half dozen women as good as this one within an hour of where you live, if you are in a decent sized city.

They ( women ) are a dime a dozen, even "fine" ones. Slvtty "fine" girls tend to be around clubs, heading to or from them. They literally are everywhere, sometimes our perspective is off and we pedestal them for no good reason.

 

[anderhil]

Uhhh, she lives in another country and has a boyfriend. Accept it for what it was a one night thing and move on.
She gets frustrated because you dont get the point. Some girls just want to sample you once and go back to their regular routines. My uncle told me he went to latin america recently and had a 5some.. Him and 4 girls for about 200$ USD and they were all hot..
Id take advantage of some of that legal prostituion down there and move on.

Well then we are talking about different things. I don't like to pay for sex.
I know she doesn't have a boyfriend 100%. I know some of her friends, I have her facebook, I chatted with her almost 2 months, we speak by phone and etc.
We were quite close in how it was possilble was to be close. I want to at least have sex again, and I feel I can, cause I really have a thing for her. I for long time didn't have the same physical lust for a woman. She is exactly MY TYPE of woman in lots of aspects. I can accept we won't have anything in future, but I want to have sex again

 

[anderhil]

Latin America covers many countries, to be exact which one? I find it odd you are not interacting with other girls, latin girls love foreign men and will probably marry you on the spot if you promise to get her out of her country.

Peru. Well as you see she is not like that. Yes we talked about travelling together and stuff like that. I don't understand what has changed in her.
I repeat, I can have other woman, but with her I felt again some kind of affection, wanting to **** just her. The way how she behaves in bed and etc, how she smells, hot beautiful she is... I mean, I **** a lot, and for long time I didn't have the same feeling.

I have here at work, 3 girls that like me, but they're 6. She is 8-9, I better try to **** her again than go for ones that I don't even want to ****.

 

[RangerMIke]

Peru. Well as you see she is not like that. Yes we talked about travelling together and stuff like that. I don't understand what has changed in her.

Brother... nothing has changed in her... she is a women... all women are like this. They are emotional creatures... they get caught up in the moment and respond accordingly. When they first meet a guy it's all fun and exciting, and like kids and toys at Christmas, as soon as she is bored with you and the newness wears thin, she's onto the next toy. As soon as she has you figured out, then it is only a matter of if you are meeting her needs.

You can not meet her needs in a LDR.... sorry. What happened with this chick is COMPLETELY predictable.

 

[marmel75]

You met, you fvcked, she moved on, you should do the same. It's not that serious.

Newsflash, just because a woman fvcks you doesn't mean she wants a relationship with you.

 

[anderhil]

Guys, I ask for advice to fvck her again, I know it's possible, I understand about the long term relations, and I am completely fine with this, I want to trick her into coming back again to fvck. If she was having fun couple of weeks ago, then she can have it more, that's what I want, and I believe it's possilble to do.

 

[pyros]

She has moved on. She is not into you anymore. She probably is seing another dude that lives 20 mins away from her, so it is pretty silly to keep trying dude.

She's your type...? so what?
You cannot have a relationship with a woman that lives more than an hour from you, its common sense.

What can you do about it? nothing.

You cannot accept it because you dont know why she changed her mind? who cares? she doesnt care about you anymore, she's more than likely svcking some other dude's dicck whereas you're here posting and lamenting.

Stop all this nonsense, you're not 14. You should have thought about her as a friend with benefits BECAUSE SHE LIVES TOO DAMN FAR FROM YOU.
Do not ever again consider a serious relationship with a woman that doens't live close to you.

Cheers.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Countries away would have never worked bro. This one is a lost cause, everyone here will tell you the same because we can see what you can't through those rose colored lenses.

Advice for fùcking her one more time? Based on how you said you'very acted thus far, it's a longshot but in order to have a chance you would have to freeze her out. Meaning no contact, no chats, texts, nothing. If you were showering her with attention like you say, she should be confused from the sudden drop and reach out. When she does, ignore her. She'll reach again. The second time, tell her were meeting when I'm back in town and proceed from there.

Of course, this is if anything is salvageable. That scenario described has about an 26% chance at happening.

 

[anderhil]

Countries away would have never worked bro. This one is a lost cause, everyone here will tell you the same because we can see what you can't through those rose colored lenses.

Advice for fùcking her one more time? Based on how you said you'very acted thus far, it's a longshot but in order to have a chance you would have to freeze her out. Meaning no contact, no chats, texts, nothing. If you were showering her with attention like you say, she should be confused from the sudden drop and reach out. When she does, ignore her. She'll reach again. The second time, tell her were meeting when I'm back in town and proceed from there.

Of course, this is if anything is salvageable. That scenario described has about an 26% chance at happening.

So the thing is that I made this already, I am here back, and she agreed to meet on weekends, although she is still quite cold in responses, she doesn't say "NO, go **** yourself" or etc. Of course there's still probability she will say she can't or etc in the end, but what is the strategy when meeting her?

Last time when it was kind of same story with cold chatting, but when meet she was ok to kiss, hug, touch and etc and behaved super positive towards me, no coldness in person. Now I don't know how should I behave from the beginning of the meeting, taking into account everything that we chatted after last meeting(about how she feels and that she is confused and etc,etc). There are couple of options where to go and what to offer to do, so you guys are more experience, what you can advice now?
Maybe some "checks" that should be performed to find out what is the state and what strategies to make, or etc. I think it would be helpful to know.
What I planned is some interesting together activity where she can restore some positive emotions towards me and etc. I know that probability is quite low, but when there is a chance, I take it, because later I would regret not trying everything I could.

Now the goal is to have sex, and to stay friends with benefits and etc. I will come here from time to time and I want to have a **** buddy. I work here a lot, so I don't have a lot of time to get acquainted with girls and try to **** them. I don't like prostitutes either, i like girlfriend experience, so that's why I want to stick to what I have at least some chance.
There are couple of "6" girls with easy access, but I don't even want to **** them, they are not interesting for me at all.

 

[dude99]

Hey guys,

I need to have your advice on the situation I have. I just found your forum, while googling some stupid relations questions.

I'm 28 year old guy, I am quite open and date woman from time to time, I cannot say I am super successful, but I am quite confident in dating and I know lot of tricks and lots of them goes for me naturally.

So recently I had business trip in Latin America, and on one party when travelling to another city, I met this girl. I first noticed her, but cause I was not long time in the city, and it looked like she dates another guy, I didn't have time to proceed, so I forgot about her for good.

But one funny thing happened in couple of weeks, when I returned to the city I work I was swiping Tinder, and we accidentally matched Tinder. She liked me and I liked her, but I didn't realize it was her. She recognized me and wrote me first and was really really interested in communicating. I liked her so I proceed to ask her for a meeting and she accepted it.

We hanged out couple of times, I was charming and etc she enjoyed the time, then we had sex. She is 28 too, she was writing to me a lot. Thanking me for the evening, asking me to stay more cause I had flight in couple of days. First I just saw her just to have sex, but she looked very beautiful and quite smart, asking a lot of questions about a lot of things, being curious, and I like such girls, so I was hooked with her.

In couple of days I left. I had to come back in some undefinite time because of work. I knew it would be in a month or two, and I gave her my word to return.
We chatted a lot, everyday asking each other how things are, exchanging photos and etc. However usually I started conversation first, but she also initiated it from time to time saying some sweet words and etc. We had been chatting like this for 1.5 month after I left Latin America.

After 1.5 months chatting, once I decided to check if she will write me first, I made a break of writing for a week, and nothing from her. Then I wrote her and after that she was quite cold with me, all the responses were as she was not interested anymore. Couple of times we had some deeper conversations, where she was telling me something that is happening in her life but most times she wasn't the same.
I didn't want to find out what happened by messaging, and I knew I will come in a month so i wanted to clarify in person.

Just to explain, I haven't had same beautiful smart and curious girl for long time, it was 5 or more years I met smb I thought I might have some future with. I am quite crazy guy, and I could see some future even though the distance is big, but I knew I can somehow handle it if I knew she was the one.

So time has come and I came back for work to Latin America again. I initiated the meeting, although she was still cold, she agreed to come. It was wonderful evening, we again walked a lot, talked a lot, kissed and hugged a lot, and I couldn't find anything showing cold behavior when chatting before.

Next day I wrote her - she was giving me cold shoulder again, I asked her about meeting again - she said she cannot, and it happened another couple of times when I asked to hang out. Of course I was a bit pissed off and couldn't understand what has happened. I couldn't leave it, and probably made mistakes in communicating with her looking needy, trying to find out what the hell happened. I know it was mistake, but for me that time after that good meeting again, with the woman I really like, gave me some hope and then - no signs of the same behavior. I always fight when there is a chance.

I asked for what happened, I wanted to meet to discuss all of this, but she didn't want to, so I had to chat again. She said that she doesn't know about our future, giving every time some different explanations about how she feels and etc. I by the way asked if she has somebody, so we are clear on what is happening, but she said - no, i don't have anybody.

I come to Latin America quite often now, and from our last meeting there's 3 weeks passed. I communicated with her couple of times more, and she was same cold, however once after our discussion she asked me to hang out, but the problem was I couldn't come. I acted like I agree, but the day we had to go out, I said I cannot(she acted same, couple of times when I asked her out after the last meeting), and that was the last conversation we had.

I came back again couple of days ago. I really want to meet her again, I am ready to be persistent and try something more. I don't know why she behaving like that. I know that maybe I have to accept that I lost this battle, but because I cannot find the reason, I cannot accept it. I feel if we meet she wouldn't be able to be same cold.

What can you advice me to do in all this situation? The problem that I still remember things how they were before she was cold, I cannot understand her behavior, she told me different things, from that it won't come to anything because of distance, to that she has some kind of depression and she gets frustrated easily and this is maybe the reason for her behavior.

Never think on what things were. The past is over. Think o n what they are. When you asked if she had someone else, she lied and said no, and you can't get past your skyrockered interest in her too see she was lying and you bought it.

Next this one and move on.