These are all great points! Keep Em coming
Let me update the gang, Friday night ran into her and just asked her out directly to come over Saturday. She agreed. Great.
Spoke Saturday and she said she got pulled into work and wanted to reschedule. Told her I'm good with that but would talk to her when I'm back from vacation. No anger, played it cool.
The big issue with this girl is the escalation - when we first met we were a lot more loose physically with each other. HJ, BJ etc but as we got closer (personally) she started overthinking more (this exhausted the hell out of me trying to understand her moods) - her rule for her visit was NO SEX as she wanted to get more comfortable with me - it was a chill date so I let it be.
...I want to create scarcity to see if really want to go through all this trouble. She is a good girl with an equal hot/crazy vibe. But the baggage is what's preventing escalation.
I want to become a Master DJ and this girl is a great challenge. The old me would will chase in this regard and message her while I am away - so credit to this site for its learnings.
Once again, this is a rookie mistake.
You are paying attention to her words rather than paying attention to her actions.
Words are irrelevant---do you know how many times a woman has told me we aren't doing something and then we end up doing it within an hour or two? In fact, more times than not , a woman saying something like "I'm only coming over if there is NO SEX" means you are going to end up having sex because its on her mind, she is thinking about it and she is saying that almost as a protection against herself.
Words = "No sex"
Actions = "I'm coming over to your house to be alone with you hoping to have sex"
Once again, its your failure to LEAD the interaction in the direction that you want it to go that is the limiting factor here. She says "No sex" and you just act like you don't want anything to happen and don't attempt to escalate. That's a failure on your part for not understanding there was a good chance it was to see if you were the type of man who is going to go for what they want regardless of what she says or if you are going to let her basically tell you how things are going to be and you just accept them(that's not a positive thing in this case, BTW). Even that wasn't what happened it was still a failure on your part because you didn't attempt to get what you wanted out of the interaction.
The clock is ticking on this one and it's heading toward midnight. You only get so many opportunities with a woman if you can't figure out how to lead them to sex and they assume you don't know how to.
And
THAT is the ultimate attraction killer.
