"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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I'm intrested in my co worker ?

taiyuu_otoko

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I've already established in my OP that have little, if any, work related interaction--Plus, I'll be leaving the company in a year or so.
Not to question your intention, just consider ALL outcomes. What if you flat out ask him out, he says no, and then talks about you negatively behind your back? Maybe not likely but an uncomfortable situation to suffer through for a year.

It would suck to be known as the "girl who chases dudes at work" for a year. You'll never know if you're going to be needing anybody there as a future reference.

Which is why I suggested to make it only "half obvious" you are asking him so you can measure his reaction, and proceed accordingly.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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PuffyPonny

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UPDATE

So I finally saw him today after 28 days due of me taking time off work after an unexpected injury .
'
The first thing he said was "hey where have you been?"its nice to see you".Then I proceeded to explain to him the reasons why I was absent. Then he said that" It was good to see me back".We chatted briefly and I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said he hasn't been in 2 months because of other obligations,then I told him that he still looks great ...he didn't get to answer my compliment because other co workers showed to ask me about work related issued.At that point he had to go back to his department.


I was just wondering because some of my co workers were indifferent about absence ..they didn't really question me about it.He even said"you haven't been around for almost a month now huh?Not to mention that we work in different departments and we run into each other few times a week.We work in a big building.The fact that he noticed my absence raised my suspicion
What do you guys think..
 

DiegoSantori

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Be direct. You're the woman, so he'll have to advance and make moves on you. But I still think if you're interested in him, you should show him. Flirt with him, make eye contact, get his number, maybe hang out with him after work. Do things to show that you're interested in him; womanly things that will start making him think "Hmm, I think she likes me". It's like fishing. You're giving him the bait. If he doesn't like you, he won't take it. If he does, he'll take the bait.

If you're leaving soon and you two hardly work/see each other in the work place, I think it's fine if you're seeing him. If something unfortunate were to happen you'd be leaving anyways. Plus, you hardly see him, right?

Like Tictac said, ask him on that coffee date.
I had a good time reading this in Muhammad Ali's voice.
 

yungballa

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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BetterCallSaul

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ask him out already, sheesh!
No kidding.

I'm also of the same opinion as Asmodeus. Lots of women are like

"I looked in his general direction for a solid 2 seconds and he didn't even ask me out! He must be gay."
 
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