"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A quick story with a question

VforVendetta

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Yo, i'm 19, in college.
So i just went to the shop to get some things and as i was passing a caffe, this girl/woman (i'd say 30's) that was sitting there having a smoke, talking to some guy, looked at me as i was approaching.

I walk with a swagger, calm and like i own the place, it started out naturaly when i was younger and i just kept it because its amusing; plus people move out of the way....

So anyway, i just slowly turn my gaze to her for a moment, hold a few seconds to see who it is and move back to looking staright ahead and she goes "Look at that! Macho man!" with a condescending tone.
I went by completely without reaction and i was later laughing thinking about it as i was coming back.

This never happened to me before except when my friends busted my ass for walking like that a few years back.

Why do you think she did that? I'd expect a guy to do it but not a girl.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Floydispink01

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Who knows....you got her to notice if that's your goal. You could reply with humour/throw her a little neg.

'Thanks lady! Enjoy your cigarette.'
 

VforVendetta

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Who knows....you got her to notice if that's your goal. You could reply with humour/throw her a little neg.

'Thanks lady! Enjoy your cigarette.'
Hahah yeah i'll just go with whatever comes up if it happens again.

Anyone of you guys had girls calling you out in the street or something simmilar?
 

VforVendetta

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Sounds like you try too hard.
I know it came out like that when i described the whole thing, i just didn't know how to condense the whole situation better.

The behaviour is actually natural and congruent with how i feel about myself, i was just interested in hearing thoughts on why she may have reacted that way.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Yewki

Master Don Juan
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Since we're going to dissect her reaction, I would say you more than likely looked silly... in a bad way.

The walk. The prolonged eye contact. The dismissive look away. She prob saw it as an act and thought it was too much.
 

VforVendetta

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Yep, you're all right:
-I was fully aware that i was overblowing this but was curious to share since it happened for the first time.
-I'm also aware that i'm usually intense for no reason and am working on chilling and smiling more. Not as an act but to bring up that side of my personality more often, even when i'm not with friends/acquaintances.
-Can't say i don't enjoy pushing it to see how much i can get away with hahaha
Thanks for the discussion guys, much appreciated.
 

parkthebus

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Two things.

1. She did it because she has an inferiority complex and making others feel bad makes her feel good.

2. I believe what she noticed about your walk wasn't confidence but aggression. Aggression makes you look vulnerable. Walking with confidence makes you look like you're relaxed but still masculine.

I'm very short and barrel chested so my walk looks a bit funny and it's something I've been conscious about for a long time. I used to rock side to side when I was about 14 to look hard but it just only looked try hard. The keys is to raise your head as high as is comfortable. Raise your chin ever so slightly and straighten your back. Everything else should be relaxed. Don't try to square your shoulders or puff out your chest at all, straightening your back will do that for you. I just joined the gym and I'm 5'5 and slightly slim yet when I walk past 6 foot guys that are jacked, they more often than not, intuitively drop their heads or avert their gaze because they have no inner confidence and I show a lot.

Another tip, although not body language, is too express either no emotions or smile slightly with your eyes. Never lower the inside of your eyebrows or squint your eyes. Again, this looks like a sign of aggression and an "alpha" is not aggressive because that implies he feels challenged. Think of James Bond as an example. He doesn't show emotions. When he kills he has no anger because anger would suggest he is not in complete control. He also doesn't speak with emotion which is something your should practice. Complete control = Frame. So not having to show emotion = Frame.
 

VforVendetta

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Very
Two things.

1. She did it because she has an inferiority complex and making others feel bad makes her feel good.

2. I believe what she noticed about your walk wasn't confidence but aggression. Aggression makes you look vulnerable. Walking with confidence makes you look like you're relaxed but still masculine.

I'm very short and barrel chested so my walk looks a bit funny and it's something I've been conscious about for a long time. I used to rock side to side when I was about 14 to look hard but it just only looked try hard. The keys is to raise your head as high as is comfortable. Raise your chin ever so slightly and straighten your back. Everything else should be relaxed. Don't try to square your shoulders or puff out your chest at all, straightening your back will do that for you. I just joined the gym and I'm 5'5 and slightly slim yet when I walk past 6 foot guys that are jacked, they more often than not, intuitively drop their heads or avert their gaze because they have no inner confidence and I show a lot.

Another tip, although not body language, is too express either no emotions or smile slightly with your eyes. Never lower the inside of your eyebrows or squint your eyes. Again, this looks like a sign of aggression and an "alpha" is not aggressive because that implies he feels challenged. Think of James Bond as an example. He doesn't show emotions. When he kills he has no anger because anger would suggest he is not in complete control. He also doesn't speak with emotion which is something your should practice. Complete control = Frame. So not having to show emotion = Frame.
very interesting man, thanks a lot, i'll keep that in mind and look in deeper to see where this aggression is coming from.

I do feel like beating the crap out of someone yet i keep calm, an odd mix of emotions that i need to look into. Even killing it in the gym doesnt aleviate the subtle urge to punch something....Might be the lack of sex for a damn long time...
Anyway, much appreciated
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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