Dustmuffins Journal

[PrettyBoyAJ]

A 5???

You got to be kidding me.

 

[dustmuffin]

A 5???

You got to be kidding me.

Nope I might have her low. May be a six usually I'm to busy ****ing her in the ass to look at her face.

 

[dustmuffin]

Also she may have average looks but is above average in sex, personality, values and other aspects. So to me overall she is good value.

 

[dustmuffin]

Getting ready to take main plate to state park to hike for VD day. It's to cold or there would be out door sex. I have been nervous lately. Its due to some meds I have been taking. I stopped so I am feeling better. Thinking about ex a little. It's her loss. I am the prize. Plus it was ldr. Would never have worked. Still I miss her. Sex with main plate is much better plus I don't think she is as crazy as ex. I have seen no signs of crazy. She is total opposite of ex. Ex is prettier but loses out in other aspects. Ex is spend thrift. Has anxiety disorder. I am better off without her. Her whole family is a bunch of intellectual, crazy nuts. Still I miss her. If she called and wanted to try again I would hope I would tell her no or just ignore. There are better women to be had.

I am sure this will be a good date. Plate will keep my mind off of ex. It's been seven months. I am much better than before. Sex will relax me.

I have improved in every aspect of my life. I have lost weight, I am lifting and have gotten my depression under control. I am taking care of business. I seem to be to busy for spinning plates. I lift twice a week. I spend time with my boys. I take my ass hole dad to the casino once a week. Only reason I do this is because he gives me $300 each time to gamble with. I have two dates with other women next week. Plus weekly date with main plate.

I got walmart roses for main plate for VD day. $15 bucks is a cheap gift. Funny thing is I dont mind spending money for gifts. It's the fact that the more you spend the women thinks you are trying to buy her affection. If women in general would change that attitude they would get better gifts from me. Oh well being generous doesn't pay off.

I still have a long way to go. Self improvement is not easy.It's getting harder to journal. I think it helps me but as my desperation has subsided my desire to journal has disappeared. I have to keep with it!

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Hey man, really happy to read this, just be careful with attachment, you know it!

 

[dustmuffin]

Hey man, really happy to read this, just be careful with attachment, you know it!

You are right. I still am fragile. I dont need to get attached. SHe was sick yesterday so I dropped off her gift and chatted with her a bit. No sex. Oh well. She said she would text me so I will wait for that. I think I will cancel my other date tonight and just go gamble with my dad. I think I will enjoy it more. The more I think about women the more I think I should just leave them alone. ***** isnt worth all of the games and **** you have to put up with.

 

[dustmuffin]

I have canceled the date and am going to gamble. I am also not going to seek women until I have lost 20 more pounds. I want to be in my best shape so I can attract the best women. I get them now but I know I can do better.

 

[dustmuffin]

Got a date tomorrow with a different woman. She is tall and slender good body with an average face. Anyway didn't sleep last night so im at work tired as hell. Hope i can make ir.

Woman from last night didnt check her email so showed up for the date. Then she decided. To check it. Said it was her fault for not reading it. When I flake I give notice.

 

[dustmuffin]

Date for tonight flaked with email. She asked for another day. I might make a another date we will see.
Then a girl texts and wants to go out friday to a college wrestling match and contra dancing. I said sure.. We will see how this goes. I still haven't heard from the main plate. I'm just writing her off. She wanted to be FB friends and I told her I didnt use it much. She implied she wanted to be friends but I didnt come out and offer. She didnt directly ask.

i was sick today. still not 100%. A good nights sleep should fix it. Went to the doctor and he told me to take benadryl to stop the shakes I have since I stopped taking a med that gave me anxiety.

I think I might be rounding a corner for the better. I still need to stop caring.

 

[dustmuffin]

Stillbwaiting for contact from main plate. Set up dates for tonight and Sunday. Date Sunday is with a black woman. A first for me.

Odd how women are. Main plate wanted me to meet her kids super bowl Sunday. I said I wasn't ready. We haven't been dating two months and are non exclusive. She also hinted that she wanted to be added on fb. Now no contact. Oh well more girls in pipeline and I have loads of self improvement. Will miss the good sex with her. I'm not going to contact her.

 

[dustmuffin]

Date went well tonight. Started off with coffee. I paid. Then we went to the Oklahoma State vs North CArolina wrestling match. We had the best seats in the house. Second row in the middle. Her brother is a big donor and we used his seats. She knew everyone there. She paid for the tickets essentially. Then we went contra dancing. It's kind of like Irish folk dancing. It was a lot of fun and easy to learn. She paid. After that we had a beer at a bar. I paid. Went to her house and made out.

She told me she wanted to see me again. That she liked all of the keno that I applied throughout the night. She called it affection. I started with a hand in the small of her back to guide her. Then progressed to arm around her to stroking her thigh. She is flying to Florida fr a week. So I told her to give me a call when she gets back.

Overall date went well. I had a very good time. She has sporting event tickets out the wazoo because her brother gives so much. Football, Basketball, wrestling to name a few. All good seats.

Spinning plates has gotten my mind off of my main plate. Girl that flaked on me wednesday contacted me about setting up another date and I have a date sunday.A woman is like a bus. There will always be another by in 20 mins.

 

[dustmuffin]

I set up dates for tomorrow and thursday. I lifted yesterday and will lift again Friday. I am cleaning the refrigerator tonight along with laundry. I had a cleaning woman over on Saturday so thats all that is left to clean.

I think I need to stop going on so many dates. It is making it hard for me to lift. I'm going to make a schedule and stick to it. The problem is when I start chatting with a girl I want to set up a date asap. This can ruin your schedule if you are talking to a few new ones. I set up dates with 2 and 2 will have to wait. I might get a call from last weeks date after she gets back from Florida. I think I can squeeze her in this weeked in she asks for a date.

 

[dustmuffin]

Two dates last week and two flakes. I just went and worked out. No big deal. I'm starting to feel a little happiness creep into my mood. That is a good sign. I'm going to work around the house today and get a few things done.

I have already set up two dates for next week. One girl is texting the crap out of me. I am trying to ween her of that. Slow texting, ignoring and such. The other texted a few times and stopped. This is good. I don't care for texting all of the time. I have better things to do. One girl is a book editor and the other is a nurse. I have already started calling the nurse hot lips. She likes it a lot. The editor writes me walls of text. It could be because she is used to writing. IDC I'm not going to spend my time texting. Texting is an annoyance.

I think I have lost some weight. I feel lighter and my clothes are loose. So this is good. All I have done is cut out sweets and limit my carbs. I am also working out as much as I can. Cutting out the sweets is they key I think. I will try to go full low carb in the future.

 

[marmel75]

Two dates last week and two flakes. I just went and worked out. No big deal. I'm starting to feel a little happiness creep into my mood. That is a good sign. I'm going to work around the house today and get a few things done.

I have already set up two dates for next week. One girl is texting the crap out of me. I am trying to ween her of that. Slow texting, ignoring and such. The other texted a few times and stopped. This is good. I don't care for texting all of the time. I have better things to do. One girl is a book editor and the other is a nurse. I have already started calling the nurse hot lips. She likes it a lot. The editor writes me walls of text. It could be because she is used to writing. IDC I'm not going to spend my time texting. Texting is an annoyance.

I think I have lost some weight. I feel lighter and my clothes are loose. So this is good. All I have done is cut out sweets and limit my carbs. I am also working out as much as I can. Cutting out the sweets is they key I think. I will try to go full low carb in the future.

Low carb long term isn't good. It makes you look flat and causes you to lose strength. Carb cycling is a much better option. Most of the benefits from being low carb without the drawbacks.

 

[dustmuffin]

Low carb long term isn't good. It makes you look flat and causes you to lose strength. Carb cycling is a much better option. Most of the benefits from being low carb without the drawbacks.

Thanks I will google it and try it out.

 

[dustmuffin]

Weighed myself and I have lost about 4 pounds *looks proud*. I talked to my son and we will work out tomorrow. I have a full week planed. Monday date, tuesday workout, Wednesday date, Thursday workout, I will probably spend the weekend with my boys. It depends on their schedule. If not I will try to schedule a date with the woman I went to the wrestling match with. She got back from Florida today and texted me some contra dancing stuff. She has been doing all of the initiating. I think I will just sit back and see what she does. I also have plenty to do around here.

I am getting the right mindset I think. My give a **** ter is turned off towards women. I also think I have a few more prospects on OLD. I am enjoying a quiet saturday night. I also have to clean tomorrow incase I lure my date over to screw. Place still looks good from cleaning lady but I still need to take off the rough edges.

I have been thinking about what does a woman really add to my life? I haven't been able to come up with much besides sex and entertainment. I have a lot to offer. I am much more valuable than entertainment and sex. After swallowing the red pill I sure as hell am not getting married. LTR yes if the right one comes along. I want to be able to pick up and go if she starts with some BS. I have almost no debt and will have my real estate paid off in a few months. My car and truck are paid for. My child support will be halved next year when one son graduates from HS. I will be able to start saving a big chunk of change in addition to what I have been saving. Why should I share that with a woman that brings little value? I shouldn't. Anyway I just have to keep from getting oneitis and getting sucked into a marriage. I think I can handle that. I'm just glad that I didn't marry my ex gf. What a mess that would have been!

 

[marmel75]

I feel like I'm reading a journal of Groundhog day.

Basically this consists of you constantly chasing your tail about every 4 or 5 days.

I've got dates set up--->I don't feel like dating--->I went on dates, unsure how they went/date flaked--->I banged some random chick--->I don't give a fvck about these chicks anymore--->I am not dating anymore until xxx happens--->I've got dates set up

Just confused why this 5 day cycle constantly keeps occurring. Does it not seem counterproductive to continuously be chasing your tail in this manner? You come up with plans but they come and go on a whim it seems.

 

[dustmuffin]

I feel like I'm reading a journal of Groundhog day.

Basically this consists of you constantly chasing your tail about every 4 or 5 days.

I've got dates set up--->I don't feel like dating--->I went on dates, unsure how they went/date flaked--->I banged some random chick--->I don't give a fvck about these chicks anymore--->I am not dating anymore until xxx happens--->I've got dates set up

Just confused why this 5 day cycle constantly keeps occurring. Does it not seem counterproductive to continuously be chasing your tail in this manner? You come up with plans but they come and go on a whim it seems.

You are correct and have given me something to think about and correct. I have discipline and congruency issues. Thank you for pointing this out.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

You are correct and have given me something to think about and correct. I have discipline and congruency issues. Thank you for pointing this out.

Hey man, even though marmel is right, don't let yourself think that you are not making any progress. You are, and it shows for example in the way you write now, much more clear and coherent, you have much clearer ideas now about what you want in your life and what you don't want. Keep this on!

 

[ubercat]

Marmel is one of the great no BS posters. but being dm's age I can understand his ambivalence about woman. dating in middle age is pretty much picking over the leftovers so of course guys will get disillusioned with the spoiled fruit. And the financial security that DM has has achieved didn't happen by accident. he obviously is making plans and achieving goals