hey babe,
as pointed out above, he's not a total dj (you'd be asking, "should I sleep with him again?" if he was...)
he does have some instinct for it
half-@ssed instinct - he's still at the trial and error stage and made a number of basic blunders. i'd say overall he was too timid or didn't go far enough or follow through on the stuff that was working. he didn't completely blow it because he got you all wound up now (not hard to do, you have to admit...)
--none of it was innocent, but that is obvious.
he was looking for a "go for it" sign from you, which is a form of permission. fair enough - that's part of the seduction dance between two people - an exchange of signals, non-verbal cues, etc. you were ready to give it, too, he just didn't follow through as i said before and make it irresistible to you (i.e., you can't help but give a "go for it" signal...)
he got you wound up, which means he's still in the game
from what i can remember reading thru this - dunno - what did he do wrong?
you could say he set it up right but failed to convert you into booty call when he had you pretty close to that (he did too...you don't want to hear that.) he needed to convince you that you weren't being a slvt and follow thru with more sensual massage, wine maybe, a kiss... (let your imagination run on what he could've done and you'll be so horny next time you're alone with him he won't have to do anything!)
you could say he set it up wrong -- probably got you two back into contact and then begin to escalate things -- deep eye contact, kino, etc etc and get you wound back up where "am I being a slvt" thoughts are half defeated already. that would take days and weeks, involve some subtlety, nothing obvious (there were some stunning posts about 3-4 yrs ago on converting friends like this -- i have 'em buried somewhere...)
anyway, he kept talking about sex and put you in a defensive stance --
he was being too obvious
and, then again, he was being too coy -- he went half way, danced and pranced around it all and didn't move in and convert. he was looking for the "go for it" sign. he left plenty of opportunities for you to give it but mucked it up overall because he couldn't make it irresistable (the sex talk, not working you longer on the set up)
_________________
so - does he want you? obviously
does he want you in the way you need to be wanted? probably not.
you want it HEAVY and ROMANTIC. that will scare him off as it probably did before. he wants the sex and to keep his options open elsewhere (doesn't want to feel trapped, wants to keep options open to pursue other tail when it swishes by - it's a guy thing, right?)
going for the HEAVY and ROMANTIC and "do you REALLY care for me?" to the point where you need a certified and notarized statement from him that he's thinking "one and only" stuff when he looks at you before you'll kiss him let alone let him mount you (tha's crude, i know, but there it is) is -- ummm -- you said it before, innocent and inexperienced.
i suppose you have to go through something heavy like that and get it out of your system (a couple times maybe) before you lighten up, date around, sleep around (discretely, right? a girl has a rep to protect you know...) and get to know yourself and others.
i get from your posts here that sex just for sex's sake isn't something you can really consider now except as some disassociated intellectual exercise --- sure, you can imagine it, but not in a real, live 'let's do it now' situation.
i suppose this heavy romantic "you're the one" requirements is one way one-itis takes hold
i bet it has some to do with being an old fashioned southern girl in the heart of the bible belt (no daisy duke are you!)
anyway, final note - a more experienced woman would've shot him down with a glance or a tone of voice that said "proof time, buddy - either you're man enough to take what you want (me), or you're not and you need to get that weak shyt outta here..."
boys need to be slapped around like that some before they get it and learn what to do
I'd say do him, get your heart torn out, wreck a friendship, get a little bit of a rep and get it all past you and move on.
but you won't do that - you'll obsess over it, he'll do this maybe/maybe not dance, get you wound up, on and on (admit that too!)
..... site has changed a bit since i last stepped around. not bad
