"We have to talk. I'm moving out."

[Married Buried]

I think Bible is sitting there WITH his woman when they made this thread, and are now probably laughing at us for believing it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My 21 y/o cousin lives across the street from me. He got married last summer to his only girlfriend ever, dated since high school and lived together the past three years. She's a beautiful blonde, maybe not the brightest light on the tree, but she loves him. They were fighting today. He was screaming at her in the front yard. She's a horrible driver and had just had another flat tire. He kept calling her "stupid" and "dumbass." I kept thinking, "even if she is stupid, calling her that is not helping your cause."

I remember his father and mother (my aunt & uncle) fighting exactly the same way at that age. They stuck out marriage for a long time, but she eventually left him, and within a few years, he killed himself with a pill overdose. He couldn't stand to be alone, so he would pick up any ghetto pillhead who would talk to him. It was some skank's morphine that killed him.

So it turns out she left him right after that fight over the flat tire. They've been together since they were 15. She brought a female friend over yesterday to move her stuff out. She deactivated her facebook page; his has a post about how whiskey isn't killing the pain.

She has an abusive skank of a stepmother who threw her out at age 16, mostly I think over jealousy that her step-daughter had become more attractive than her. I can't help but think the stepmother probably called her stupid about a thousand times, and that would give her a low tolerance for such a thing.

 

[evan12]

his has a post about how whiskey isn't killing the pain.

I had a friend like that, and I just used a transitional way in shaming him that some conservative societies use and it worked with him .
so I told him : "Is this a man of how should be? to cry over a girl?, she have more guts than you , didn't hear "today is her tomorrow is another woman " ,stand as a man and never cry again over her "

it seem that worked , the brain wash of Hollywood was telling him the right thing to do is cry to show his love and his princess will return back , but now he got a new instructions and I never found him sad after this and he continued he life .

 

[Three]

I have to say this is one of the best threads I've ever read here. And, of course, perfect for the Mature Man forum.

BB - I've been through a very similar situation and it definitely ended badly. Very badly. I truly hope that your situation is different, but I suspect that ultimately, it will not lead to eternal happiness.

AFC confession: After each breakup or announcement of an intention to breakup, the foremost emotion I remember feeling other than utter devastation, was REMORSE. I felt so fucking bad that I had been such an asshole. The truth was that this is a phony emotion that we channel our sorrow into because our first impulse is to blame ourselves after our anger and shock subsides. I suspect this has something to do with the stages of grief.

One observation: As has been mentioned already, when women break up/move out, they almost always have a replacement lined up. Keep in mind that this doesn't mean there is a guy she's been fucking behind your back, but it almost certainly means there is a guy she's been talking to.

Beyond that, you have the bitches coven of all her friends lining up behind her ready to pounce on you at a moment's notice. Judge by their reactions already: They can NEVER be trusted again and, it goes without saying, that your gf can never be trusted completely again either.

This whole episode is a gigantic breach of trust. I feel your pain and also your excitement at the renewed passion. You may remember that I've been divorced twice and went through similar things. I loved both of my wives and tried to save my relationships, but became a useless AFC in the process.

I hope this one turns out differently for you. I'll say again here that getting her pregnant right now is a HUGE mistake. Go ahead and fuck like bunnies for now, but until you at the very least have a hard sign of commitment from HER part, other than this silly thing of proposing and her accepting (what's her risk? what's her downside? --she holds all the cards!), don't even think about making a decision that will change your life forever and forever chain you to someone who has breached your trust in a very big way.

Until you have heard your child, your own flesh and blood who you watched being born in the hospital and who has your eyes, your ears your mouth, until you hear that child call another man, "Dad," then you have no fucking idea what it feels like to have a breakup with a woman who has your child and then moves on with another man.

Again, I'm pulling for you man, but this has the greatest chance of becoming your reality in the future.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It is at least a very true story.

We have been seeing each other about every other day. I usually go to her place, rub her back as we watch the end of the Cardinals game on her tiny TV, then we have Sex Olympics until we pass out. About once a week I cook dinner at my place. I make a caprese salad with homegrown tomatoes that I think would romance any woman.

She chose the rental she's in now largely because it has a fenced back yard for her dogs. But she didn't actually walk around the fence and look at it - like a man would do. It is full of holes, and she's had to chase her dogs across town a half-dozen times. I have to admit that I am laughing a little at her struggles living alone, but I keep it to myself. She was walking around my now almost empty house talking about how the place looked huge without her stuff cluttering it up. It is much bigger and nicer than her new place.

I have bought her several small, thoughtful gifts, just things she said in passing that she needed. She was grocery shopping today and buying me coffee. She has started dressing slvtty for me again at my request.

I was supposed to go to her place tonight, but her mom is visiting a dying friend in the hospital and invited herself to come sleep at her place. I consider that the type of thing that used to make me mad. But when things are going well, not fighting over small stuff is easy.

She has been cutting her own hair for the past year because she's broke, and needs to have it done, so I talked to the stylist who cuts both our hair, made an appointment for her and picked out the way I like her hair from an old picture. With a fat tip for my smoking hot stylist, it will cost me about $120. I still haven't told her about the appointment; I just told her to be free during that time. She calls not knowing "torture," but it is the good kind. I could only get an appointment just before she leaves for her family reunion, the one that we agreed it was too soon for me to go to, so she will show up with a drastically different hairstyle that I'm sure will make every woman envious. They also all know she's broke and can't afford something like that, so they'll end up finding out that I paid for it.

I asked her if sex was so much better because we were getting along better, or because she was off her birth control. She doesn't know. We changed two things at once. I can tell a huge difference in her though. We always had great sex, but it is at a whole new level right now. The night before last she said she came twelve times. And we only did it once that night.

So that's my story. I don't see anything changing about this relationship any time soon. She only signed a 6-month lease, but I doubt she would move back that quickly. At some point I will knock her up and buy her a ring, but that may take a while.

 

[disgustipated]

Yeah not on board with knocking her up and getting married. That's playing right back into her frame and put you right back into the old situation but way worse. Shell be way fatter, way moodier, less sex...and when she leaves next time she won't be broke, you will because she will be living off your support.

Instead leverage this time in your favor. Keep the sex train rolling by doing just what you're doing. Keep outside interests. Live seperate!!!!!!!!! Continue improving then she has no other choice but to keep pace. You give in and move back then you lose all momentum and frame.

 

[Tiguere]

the thing is any man with a healthy mindset will use this opportunity to get a new haircut change wardrobe and redecorate its apartment. bibles mind is set on this girl. we just have to wait and see. keep us updated. even if things dont go uour way let us know and post here. so years from now people can come here and learn a thing or 2

 

[Bible_Belt]

This piece of sh!t laptop I'm typing on has windows 7. I just had a long post typed out and without touching a key, it closed the browser window and deleted my post so that it could do an automatic windows update. Fvck you, windows 7. Every version of windows since XP has been sh!ttier than the last.

I don't know how much weight she gained exactly. It's not like I weigh her. My perception depends on the mod I'm in. Plus, almost all of it goes to G-cup t!ts and ass. The last girl I fvcked besides her had D-cup boobs, and they actually seemed kind of small. Any girl with t!ts like that is going to get a lot of attention from guys. She has some redneck cretin neighbors who have discovered the joy of watching her mow her yard. Last time they invited friends over for the show. I keep my laughter to myself.

Speaking of keeping my laughter to myself, the reason she chose the rental she's in now is that it has a fenced backyard for her dogs. But since she's a woman, she didn't actually go look at the fence, which is apparently full of holes. She has had to chase her dogs across town a half-dozen times. Taking care of those dogs and fixing fences had always been my job. Now that she is going it alone, she has to do everything for herself. I don't openly laugh about it, but I can't deny I get a kick out of her struggles with living alone.

Anyway, about the money issue, to me the real problem is that she is just bad with money. I filed a bankruptcy for her when we got together, getting her out of $40k in credit card debt. She only has one low-limit card now. Her car got repo'd once while we were living together. They tried to take it again months later, so I just paid off the last $700 of the loan for her. She didn't pay rent for the last two years of living with me. I mention these things because each of our respective families seems to think that I am a deadbeat and a financial drain on her. I don't take pleasure in her being broke, but I like seeing that it isn't because of me.

Shopping is another issue. I have about three things I need to be happy; with her it's closer to 103. I always felt that she would spend all of her money on stupid sh!t I didn't want, and then blame me for being broke, or at least resent me for it. She would also tell me she wanted to go out to dinner because she just got paid, but then later in the week would be upset that she was broke. That was part of the issue with me not wanting to go out as much, which made me seem anti-social to her. I would save my money like a miser, because I expected us to have to use it for some financial emergency - like paying off her car before it gets repo'd.

Money, like housework, is the fastest issue to resolve itself after cohabitation ends, simply because there is no one else to blame. That's one of the traps of a close relationship. It's always easy to blame the other half for your own problems.

 

[zekko]

Anyway, about the money issue, to me the real problem is that she is just bad with money. I filed a bankruptcy for her when we got together, getting her out of $40k in credit card debt. She only has one low-limit card now. Her car got repo'd once while we were living together. They tried to take it again months later, so I just paid off the last $700 of the loan for her. She didn't pay rent for the last two years of living with me. I mention these things because each of our respective families seems to think that I am a deadbeat and a financial drain on her. I don't take pleasure in her being broke, but I like seeing that it isn't because of me.

Before you were saying that it would be safe to impregnate this girl, because she makes all the money, and therefore you wouldn't have to pay any child support. Now you're saying she's broke. I wouldn't risk having a child with this woman for any amount of money. Truth is stranger than fiction, boys.

Okay, where is the real Bible Belt, and what have you done with him?

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's making it versus spending it. She has a high income and just spends it all. Anyone can be broke doing that, regardless of income. But now she has to pay her rent, too.

One of my opinions about money is that, if you made a list of the things in life that you absolutely either need or are entitled to, then the longer that list is, the more likely you are to be unhappy. Your actual income is irrelevant. I have met third-world villagers who live in crushing poverty and yet manage to seem happier than most Americans I know. Happiness is not about what you have - it's more about what you think you need.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Before you were saying that it would be safe to impregnate this girl, because she makes all the money, and therefore you wouldn't have to pay any child support. Now you're saying she's broke. I wouldn't risk having a child with this woman for any amount of money. Truth is stranger than fiction, boys.

Okay, where is the real Bible Belt, and what have you done with him?

People often fail to follow the advice that they give to others. They can be objective when looking at another man's situation from an outsider's perspective, but when it comes to their own issues, emotions cloud their judgment. That is why lawyers usually hire other lawyers to represent them when they get sued. Ditto with shrinks seeking counseling from other shrinks.

 

[Lexington]

This piece of sh!t laptop I'm typing on has windows 7. I just had a long post typed out and without touching a key, it closed the browser window and deleted my post so that it could do an automatic windows update. Fvck you, windows 7. Every version of windows since XP has been sh!ttier than the last.

I don't know how much weight she gained exactly. It's not like I weigh her. My perception depends on the mod I'm in. Plus, almost all of it goes to G-cup t!ts and ass. The last girl I fvcked besides her had D-cup boobs, and they actually seemed kind of small. Any girl with t!ts like that is going to get a lot of attention from guys. She has some redneck cretin neighbors who have discovered the joy of watching her mow her yard. Last time they invited friends over for the show. I keep my laughter to myself.

Speaking of keeping my laughter to myself, the reason she chose the rental she's in now is that it has a fenced backyard for her dogs. But since she's a woman, she didn't actually go look at the fence, which is apparently full of holes. She has had to chase her dogs across town a half-dozen times. Taking care of those dogs and fixing fences had always been my job. Now that she is going it alone, she has to do everything for herself. I don't openly laugh about it, but I can't deny I get a kick out of her struggles with living alone.

Anyway, about the money issue, to me the real problem is that she is just bad with money. I filed a bankruptcy for her when we got together, getting her out of $40k in credit card debt. She only has one low-limit card now. Her car got repo'd once while we were living together. They tried to take it again months later, so I just paid off the last $700 of the loan for her. She didn't pay rent for the last two years of living with me. I mention these things because each of our respective families seems to think that I am a deadbeat and a financial drain on her. I don't take pleasure in her being broke, but I like seeing that it isn't because of me.

Shopping is another issue. I have about three things I need to be happy; with her it's closer to 103. I always felt that she would spend all of her money on stupid sh!t I didn't want, and then blame me for being broke, or at least resent me for it. She would also tell me she wanted to go out to dinner because she just got paid, but then later in the week would be upset that she was broke. That was part of the issue with me not wanting to go out as much, which made me seem anti-social to her. I would save my money like a miser, because I expected us to have to use it for some financial emergency - like paying off her car before it gets repo'd.

Money, like housework, is the fastest issue to resolve itself after cohabitation ends, simply because there is no one else to blame. That's one of the traps of a close relationship. It's always easy to blame the other half for your own problems.

So she's fat, bad with money, filed for bankruptcy and got her car repo'd, past her prime reproductive years and materialistic. Sounds like you got a real winner there.

But hey, the rednecks like her.....

 

[Die Hard]

Bible, there are a few things adding up here that don't make sense, and I am afraid you are wearing blinders.

I just re-read a couple of your posts - one of them you said that you are not the one getting trapped, because she makes all the money. Go back and read it, it was page 6 or 7. Yet now you say she has been cutting her own hair the past year because she is broke.

???

You said she gained 80 pounds, now you say 40 - I understand you were angry when you said 80, so maybe exaggerated.

But here is one, a direct quote from you "My issue is that 40 is like a reproductive wall for a woman. Conception is possible, but it's really better to not even try. By age forty, 90% of a woman's remaining eggs will contain a genetic defect, most of which will cause miscarriage. She had a miscarriage at age 21 and never has had a child. And I've never knocked anyone up. The odds of it happening seem slim."

Yet NOW you say "At some point I will knock her up and buy her a ring, but that may take a while."

I just fear you are twisting reality to suit your needs at the moment, mand that is dangerous for you.

Hope this helps

No, it does not help. By now, isn't it obvious to you guys that you can't reach through to Bible's head?

Just leave him be, he has to find his own way out of this illusion that he's living in, none of you is gonna be able to make him see things for what they are. Give it up, he is too far gone, his mind has gone into self delusion mode and he has crossed a barrier from which we cannot get him back. He is living in an illusion and everytime reality proves his illusion wrong, he will simply backwards rationalize the facts so they will fit into his illusion after all.

He might marry this woman, knock her up, grow old with her and live a disgustingly inferior life that would make most of us here vomit. But he may very well remain in this state of self deception FOREVER and never become aware of his own sad state, thus staying happy during all of it. Ignorance is bliss...

I hope for him that he can keep it up and always find a way to keep his illusion alive, coz if he ever fails at that and inadvertently connects with reality after he completely messed his life up, he will be VERY sad and unhappy...

Anyway, it's out of our hands, people. He's lost and we can't bring him back. It's painful to see this happen to a brother, but we just have to accept it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

He's lost and we can't bring him back.

I don't mean this toward any one person in particular, but I feel the same way about guys who let their past dictate their future. The red pill/blue pill metaphor can be applied in more than one way. Hating women and being bitter is just as much of a blue pill as being AFC. Both of them are ways to protect your own pride. So is worrying about what other people think.

Obviously, consensus here is that I'm AFC, fine, whatever. But I sure don't feel frustrated at all, which what the F stands for. AFC works when the girl already likes you. The "frustrated" part comes from trying to do those things for a woman who is not into you. It also comes from being a d!ck to the woman you are in a relationship with, I have learned that much. For the past couple of years, I have been frustrated as hell. But it's all in my head, and I have the power to control how happy I am. That sounds like more of a red pill to me than anything.

Sounds like you got a real winner there.

Or she's just human with flaws like anyone else, which I know about just because I know her so well, and I have the balls to not sugar-coat the story to try to make myself look better. Everyone can decide that one for themselves.

 

[MikeOck]

Hating women and being bitter is just as much of a blue pill as being AFC.

Very few people are posting in this thread out of a hatred for women. The vast majority see a man making an obvious mistake, one that has been repeated countless times by untold numbers of men, and are simply trying to save another man from suffering the same fate.

You can justify your position to yourself anyway you like, but the only person you are convincing is yourself. The simple fact of basic psychology is that if you reward bad behavior, you get more bad behavior.

Obviously you aren't going to listen to any of us (unless we back up your opinion), so all we can do is wish you luck. I hope you are the one guy in a million who this works out for, but you'll have to forgive me for being skeptical.

 

[cordoncordon]

I believe the lesson to be learned here is when it comes to advice dished out on this site, 99% of the guys are pretending. Living a lie. Acting. They are acting AS IF they know what they are talking about and that they live their lives the way they preach that others should live. But in reality, when push comes to shove with a girl in their own life, almost every guy here will fall right back into their WK and afc ways as quick as a girl can say "I'm leaving you".


It's a shame really. I believe BB to be a good guy. And we have ALL done something similar to what he is doing now. I just can't recall anything to this extreme and by someone so experienced and knowledgeable. But his wall of power crumbled like the sand it was built on, only to show what he is really made of.

 

[Bible_Belt]

But his wall of power crumbled like the sand it was built on, only to show what he is really made of.

That was well-written. But I don't really want a wall of power. A house upon the rock would be ok though.

I promise that if I end up miserable, I will make sure to find this thread and let everyone know. But at least for now, I am happier than I have been in a long time.

 

[expos]

Where is the topic in the DJ Bible about Gaming your wife? I swear I also read a thread on this...

 

[zekko]

Hating women and being bitter is just as much of a blue pill as being AFC.

I agree about the blue pill, but to me this isn't about hating women.
It's about responding to behavior from a woman that is showing she is unreliable, by considering marrying her and having children with her.

I can understand you wanting to keep her in your life, I can see you're not ready to let her go yet. That's a debateable issue in itself. But it's like you've seen a few scales on her, and you think uh oh I might have a snake here. And your response is I better marry her before she turns into a snake. As opposed to saying, wait a minute, I may have a snake on my hands here, maybe I should wait and see if she turns into one, before making plans to further cement my attachment to her.

 

[WoodB]

I dated a woman who was "almost" fat. Then she got bigger every year because she ate too much. She outweighed me by a good 40 lbs! It was a real bummer but when she dumped me, I did't care.