"We have to talk. I'm moving out."

[Bible_Belt]

I got that one tonight. It was a 5-year relationship. She rented a place this week and just now told me. Tomorrow morning, her friends and family are going to show up and move her out. All the furniture is hers. The tv is mine, but the dish is in her name, so she will have cable but no TV, and I will have a TV with no cable. She's taking two of our dogs, one of which we adopted together. My phone is in her name, so is my Internet connection (I might not be around for a while.) I feel like a country song.

Basically, she got fat, we stopped having sex, and all of that was MY fault. She gained about 80 pounds and then told me she had to leave because she didn't feel like I still wanted to have sex with her. Duh. She also said I didn't clean the house enough, even though she never cooked or cleaned, and we both worked about the same amount of hours. She makes more money than me, but not by a lot. I paid the rent, she paid everything else, and my extra money was usually our fun money. Her take on the situation was "I pay all the bills."

This was a relationship that went from being all sex all the time, threesomes and wild stuff, to absolutely no sex at all. We could maybe manage once a month for the past year. I told her that her birth control is killing her sex drive, but she doesn't care. She used to say "I'm horny" every night when we were dating. I have not heard her say that in over two years.

She's my age. We went to high school together and dated when we were 16. Now I have to tell all of my family that she left me overnight and tricked me into not knowing what was going on, which I will, because it's not worth lying about. The worst part is having to admit I was deceived. She was kissing me goodbye all week, then going to look at rentals.

I'm still not really that sad though. I can't cry over being left by a fat b!tch

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Bible: What up bro. Sorry to hear about the sudden turn of events, but like everything else we go thru there's always a brighter side and silver lining to it all.

Some questions:

1) Did you try and get her to work out with you? From what I remember you were pretty big on MMA and staying fit.

2) Outside of her losing her sex drive, did you notice any other warning signs or sudden red flags looking back in the months leading up to this?


To me from what you've written here it seems like this is based more on her and her insecurities than anything you did or didn't do.

I mean shiat, if I gained that much weight and my partner still looked the same from when we first started dating, that would be motivation enough to get my @ss in shape to get rid of feeling like a fat slob.

I have no doubt you will be fine in no time considering you seemingly lost all attraction for her.

And good lord bro, its so sad that people just let themselves completely go, seems to be the norm, rather than the exception now days.










PIMP

 

[Bible_Belt]

Her employer instituted a "wellness program." They told her that she was fat, and her health insurance was going up $200/month if she didn't join Gold's Gym and go four times a week. She went for about a month; I told her I could see that she was losing weight. Then she just quit; she basically said that she would just b!tch her way out of it if they tried to raise her health insurance.

What disturbs me is that this keeps happening to me. I seem to be most attracted to women who are just about to get fat. It's not all relationships, even with flings I will occasionally see a picture scroll across facebook that makes me say 'my god what happened to her.'

It's like I have the midas touch with women. Only instead of gold, I touch them and they turn to cellulite.

be on the lookout, she will probably try to lose a lot of her weight, blame you for the initial weight gain, and then try to make it look like she is living a great life surrounded by a lot of male admirers. Don't fall for this classic ploy, it's all a mirage.

Thanks. I told her tonight that she would now lose weight; she doesn't have any choice, that's just how it happens.

 

[expos]

This hurt to read.

In my experience, when a woman makes this type of decision, there is nothing you can do to make them stay. There is a lot a woman can do keep a guy around. Funny how that works, right?

You were not married to this woman I take it? If not, there is really less at stake here and even though it's going to hurt now, you'll be better off in the short term because of the lack of legal crap and emotional pain that comes from a divorce.

Here's what is going to happen in the next couple of months:

1. Your girl is going to be miserable for about two weeks while she gets adjusted to her new life. After that, she'll start dropping all of her weight and somehow magically get her sex drive back and start screwing someone, which will tremendously hurt you in ways you'd never imagine. She'll also start looking incredibly hot. Count on it.

2. You'll rebound slower - most guys do. You'll be in shock for about a month until reality kicks in that she's not around anymore.

You need to go out right away and start getting physical with new women NOW. Do whatever it takes to get that first rebound out of the way. You will also need to ignore and go No Contact with this woman. I'm 70+ days no contact and it is not easy. Everyday seems to be a small victory....but it still really really sucks.

This will be extremely hard for you because 5 years is a significant chunk of time just to throw someone away.

Whatever you do, do not plead, cry, text, make phone calls, write emails, whine, beg, etc. to this woman. She'll see you as weak and she'll LOVE IT that you are hurting. Women are evil like that.

Keep posting to this thread whenever you feel weak. Better to post here than to do something stupid.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Thanks. The first thing I asked was if she had put down a deposit on the new place. After she said yes, I told her that there was no point in trying to argue. And I didn't at all.

My bpd ex is her mortal enemy. They are also facebook friends. (that's just how women are). She will be scouring her page looking for a picture of me and bpd girl to show up. I think I hold most of the "revenge fvck" cards right now. But like you said, that will probably last about two weeks.

 

[Burroughs]

You prob like thick women. I know I do. Last gf was 20 so had a lot of time to stay hot but there was no doubt in my mind she would get fat.

sadly its not just the thick ones...all biyaches get fat these days....look at mischa barton...

http://poponthepop.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/FFN_Barton_Mischa_FF6_040513_51061972.jpg

 

[Jitterbug]

What disturbs me is that this keeps happening to me. I seem to be most attracted to women who are just about to get fat. It's not all relationships, even with flings I will occasionally see a picture scroll across facebook that makes me say 'my god what happened to her.'

It's like I have the midas touch with women. Only instead of gold, I touch them and they turn to cellulite.

lol mine would always turn to healthy training and diet at first, following my lead to impress me. Eventually they would pick fights with me because it's all too hard, and I supposedly only care about looks. Post-breakup, they all move up a few weight classes. Recently I walked straight past my ex from several years ago when she was smiling at me, not because I was some cold-hearted bastard on No Contact, but because I couldn't recognize her. She looked like she just ate a farm animal whole.

Sorry to hear that, Brother Bible_Belt, but you can now enjoy freedom again and the company of slim women.

Holy sh1t Mischa Barton is HUUUUUGE!!!! :crazy: Man a few years back I used to think of her off the top of my head as an example of a hot girl with The Gap. Now look at them thunder thighs!!! :crackup:

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I think she was pregnant in those pics, I remember reading something about that; not sure if that was true or not.

I'm a huge gym rat, always have been, always will be. For the past few years I have only been dating girls who are obsessed with working out PRIOR to meeting me, I have been able to avoid the getting fat issue because of this...

Any other girl I've met or casually dated has been just that... a plate that I wouldn't hesitate to get rid of when a hotter, more fit woman comes around.





PIMP

 

[Burroughs]

you can still be hawt and pregnant...women use pregnancy as an excuse to blow up...women just want an excuse to pig out and be lazy..there is no excuse for a chick getting fat its all laziness and apathy

if you keep fit while pregnant her body will snap back to hotness...

if you get fat while pregnant that weight may never come off

A woman who did it right...http://www.hollywoodheadache.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/posh-pregnant.jpg

 

[Jitterbug]

Precisely. Sure they have to gain some pregnancy weight and eat more because of the baby, but most eat enough to feed a small army, not a little fetus! The pregnancy weight is later lost through breastfeeding by natural design. The other weight gained but not subsequently lost is the I no longer GAF about the ATM and sperm provider weight.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's really hard right now to not just start chucking her stuff out on the front lawn. I was supposed to work tomorrow morning, which she knew, but it's hard to not want to be home when a bunch of people are sorting through your stuff to decide what's yours. I think I am going to be here. She said they are coming at 8 am, so at 7 I will shake her fat ass off the bed so I can throw it in the front yard. If she wants out, then I want to throw her out.

 

[Boilermaker]

oh man... hurts to read.

Have some empathy people, it's practically his wife. 5 years of living together.
Hope you get through this as quickly as you can.

Don't let them plunder all your stuff, but don't sweat little things either. Take the high road, BB.

 

[zekko]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Bible Belt. But not too sorry, because this now presents you with the opportunity for new and better horizons.

Sounds like classic female tactics, though. Secure a new place to live, and make all the arrangements before dropping the bomb on you. Rationalize all the reasons she's leaving and make sure all the blame is on YOU. Yep, classic female tactics, all right. Enjoy your new life, brother, and don't let this mess with your head.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Sorry to hear about that Bible.

Just make the break as clean and professional as possible. This will take a while to get over, regardless of her weight. Rejection always hurts.

Treat the move as professionally as possible. From now on, she's an ex-roommate who's got a new place. Treat her as such.

Avoid the temptation to "show her up" or any of that. Just make a clean break as quickly as possible.

No shame in getting deceived either. All girls, and plenty of men are naturals at this.

You did nothing wrong, and you've nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. It's all her. She got fat, she got unattractive, and now she's got to deal with it.

 

[XR 600]

Sorry to hear also Bible.Mine went 8 years,she wanted out after i wouldnt move one hour away to her town.The last 6 months we basically existed as friends.It sucked.Went no contact 4 months,now she has contacted a couple of times.The couple of times i talked to her,i felt ****ty for a week.My advice,is work more,gym,contact friends,find things to do.Stay positive.

 

[Dedication]

I read your post and i was laughing all the way through after "She gained about 80 pounds". This **** is hilarious, she did you a huge favour. You can learn so many things from this that i'm kind of jelous of you. From both your ego standpoint and just about anything else.

Have fun in life, because the worst part just left you hahaha.

 

[zekko]

Sometimes the ugly girls leaving can be MORE painful from an ego standpoint, too.

I could see that. Which reminds me, this has always puzzled me:

According to PUA lore, a woman's value drops at around age 30, and she runs out of good options. But if this is the case, why are so many older women so quick to leave their men? This woman was 37, and had even gained weight. If a woman becomes desperate at age 30 and marries the first AFC she comes across, why would such a woman dump a good man like Bible Belt?

There is plenty here to show that she was of low character.

Agreed. Threesome, for one thing.

 

[samspade]

Bible,

Sorry to hear about the end of your relationship. Having just got out of a five year run myself, I can certainly emphasize - with both sides.

Don't get me wrong - I think it's total b.s. for your ex to blame you for what SHE wants. But as the others said, that's how women do it. They just don't like being held responsible for their decisions. Anyone can find "reasons" to end a relationship, and they usually revolve around needing self-improvement (weight loss, finances, etc.) or blaming the other person for not improving. Those goals can be attained in a relationship too of course, so it's a smokescreen. She doesn't want to be with you any more and that's the only reason you need.

I say this because when I told my ex I wanted out I owned it - I wanted out. The relationship had run its course for me and I wanted to be free. End of story.

As for her "kissing you goodbye all week" and scheming to get out, that's just how it goes when people are arriving at the decision. A month before I dropped the bomb, I'd given my wife a loving birthday card and gift. It sounds like I was being two-sided, but who can let that cat out of the bag until they know for sure? It would ruin things anyway.

My advice is to be the bigger person and find a way to rise above all of this. Don't give in to anger or pleading. It's going to hurt and hurt bad for a little while at least, so work through those emotions but don't make decisions in an emotional state. Take a time out and come here if you want. Send me a PM if you need. Embrace your new start.

Oh and one more thing: A TV without cable isn't such a bad thing for a man. Get an HD antenna if you want, otherwise just use streaming from Netflix, Amazon and the like. Cable television is a wasteland and for a man on the rebound it can be a big fat teat to suckle on for too long.

 

[disgustipated]

Congratulations! No, seriously. You ever put off hobbies or goals when you are in a ltr? Well now you can entertain all of those pursuits without compromising your time and tesources. I envy you right now. When my gf leaves for a weekend, or mini vacation it always amuses me that she's surprised at how much fun I have without her. I hang with guy friends mostly, or go ham with my hobbies....like road races or some ****. Indulge yourself man....fully, now is the time.

Imo, ditch Facebook. She will DEFINITELY lose the weight and use FB to show it. Will be tons of guuuurl power posts from her friends and possibly snarky comments regarding you, baiting you to post a butthurt comment which will only feed what she's doing even more. It's a no win situation for you, that's a woman's game. Unless, you can outdouchbag her in that venue, but that's hollow.

No.contact. Remember she wanted out, for.that reason you should feel no remorse for never texting, emailing, calling. I don't recommend deleting numbers because if you don't know the number by heart you may accidentally pick up, oops. There's a certain satisfaction that comes from seeing an ex's name on your phone and having the willpower not to answer.

I don't think.getting out and dating or ****ing is the right thing for every guy. Only you can answer that. There's nothing wrong with not dating and just enjoying life being single. Getting your finances in order, getting more into work,.hobbies....whatever.

 

[samspade]

I don't think.getting out and dating or ****ing is the right thing for every guy. Only you can answer that. There's nothing wrong with not dating and just enjoying life being single. Getting your finances in order, getting more into work,.hobbies....whatever.

Agree with this. I've gone out for a few random drinks with women but just haven't found the urge to make moves. To be honest I haven't been in the "creating romantic feelings" mindset. I'm having too much fun being alone right now. I've lost 20 pounds since the New Year and am working on getting those finances in order and figuring out my life's path.

Oh and I echo everyone's "get off Facebook" sentiments. It's poison for your heart and brain right now.