Hey mate! You gave one of the best advices I've ever read on this website
(too bad it was a little too late for me to follow) so now that I'm out of these poisonous waters, it is my obligation to help you out on this one!
First of all, I'd like to warn you of one thing.
You are not over the first ex. And let's just call her ex, 'cause the second chick is rebound, and we all know it! Anyway, you are not over your ex and let us examine why is not a good idea banging her!
Even though you want to lie to yourself, there would be no way you would bang the ex without feelings. And we all know the nostalgic feeling one may get from sex with the ex, but you got to ask yourself if you would not be trapped in a situation you would regret later. And I know you are an all around dude, but we are human after all, and we all can get attached to what we can't have!
You got to ask yourself how much of this desire is not your ego seeking validation. You know. That "I can still have this one" kind of validation!
The second thing. You may be an admited jerk, and that enough could be the reason for the breakup.
But the thing is, she dumped you, not the other way around. You "opening" up to her, or any kind of contact you try to have, will put you on a lower position, no matter what.
You will always have the lower hand, because you were dumped.
And more on this matter, as I've said, it maybe for the nostalgic value, but you have to admit to yourself that
she's been riding the carousel while you were appart. Don't be naive. Rest assured that she banged more dudes than you would like to hold accountability. Now, this may or may not botter you. But for me, as a personal opinion, I find quite disgusting.
And no, not the fact that chicks ride the carousel, otherwise, I wouldn't be f*cking anyone, but the fact that it is a girl you already had a relationship, and this should go against with your morals and self value.
I would never f*ck an ex girlfriend. Specially an ex who had dumped me. I would never gave her such pleasure. Flings, f*ck buddies, and girls that I have nothing to do are one thing. But taking back damaged good, no sir, I'll pass! One chance per life time missy!
To clearify my point of view, think of her as your car. You bought it, new or used, it does not matter. You never saw it, and you bought it and accepted it as it came. You liked the car, and used it for a period of time, and then eventually, you crashed the sh*t out of it. And so you sold it, never to be seen again!
Tell me, would you ever consider rebuying it. I guess not! Even thought you liked it, and the car may still look the same, it would be with a handfull of new problems due to some serious mileage aquired on it!
Read your original post again, and see how you will come from a beggar position.
Read it over with a whiny squeaky voice.
You are a solid dude and I'm sure you can start anew, with another girl, and another social circle. And even though I agree with
Peaks&Valleys advice in order to "get her back" all I can read is you b*tching out and being afraid to take a stand and move on!
The bottomline of my advice is:
If there is someone who should be worried in getting someone back, it is her. Not the other way around!
I myself know from experience that opening up, and putting yourself out there is NEVER a good option...
...But you can go and ask
Jariel as well!
Anyway, have a nice one mate! Cheers!
PS: The advice you gave that I've mentioned earlier is on page 173. I know the page by heart, 'cause it was one of the best advice gave on this thread, along with advices by Jariel, tripod23, Mauser96 and Culebra23!
Anyway, in case you don't remember it Here is the link to it! You should check it out!
