soulforge
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
- Messages
- 6,189
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You found this erotic. Very worrying & telling about you.What an erotic female fan fiction…now do the version when you are the actor
You found this erotic. Very worrying & telling about you.What an erotic female fan fiction…now do the version when you are the actor
She's the one who dumped me after all the BS that happened. I'd rather drag my balls through broken glass than go back to her. Going out tonight and tomorrow to keep this momentum going.Weldone man.
Truth is, once it's broken it's broken.
Wether she dumped you, or you dumped her because of her behaviour, going back will 99% of the time fail.
I especially would never got back with an ex who has been piped down by only god knows how many other men.
Women get over breakups much easier than men because women begin the detachment process during the relationship. Generally, they begin "breaking up" with you in their minds months before the actual breakup occurrs. Men aren't wired like this. Men see the break-up conversation as the "end" and they are then recovering for the next number of months after that point. Women, however, would have gone through that process months before. It is why they can seem so cold in how easily they get over you. You are pouring out your heart to her while she has already moved on and begun fantasizing about her co-worker (or began banging them even).Day 37
Had a LDR for around 9 months and we did not officially end it but she was taking longer and longer to respond to my messages for around 2 weeks, blaming it on “family”. She started playing up so i just said ok cool and goodnight. That was it. My intuition has turned out to be right, but it sucks. Was just going to message to see how she was but I know I’ll just get some cold ass response like “why are you messaging me” or just no response at all, so **** her. Women tend to get over break ups MUCH faster than men.
@Barrister do you think believe or agree with the whole dumpers timeline concept? The idea that the girls only experience the pain, dumped men experience way, months later when the repercussions of their actions hit them. Or no? (Inversely, dumped men experience pain upfront but are better months later).Women get over breakups much easier than men because women begin the detachment process during the relationship. Generally, they begin "breaking up" with you in their minds months before the actual breakup occurrs. Men aren't wired like this. Men see the break-up conversation as the "end" and they are then recovering for the next number of months after that point. Women, however, would have gone through that process months before. It is why they can seem so cold in how easily they get over you. You are pouring out your heart to her while she has already moved on and begun fantasizing about her co-worker (or began banging them even).
Keep this in mind for your future LTRs. It will save you a load of grief if you can recognize this dynamic at play during the relationship and know it is time to begin protecting yourself so you aren't caught with your pants down.
No - I don't buy that. I do think women will sometimes have "seller's remorse" if you will if the man is doing extremely well after the breakup and begin to put out feelers to him to see if he still cares about her. Maybe a bit more than just bread-crumbing. But the same pain the man feels? Not even close. Their female brain has almost fully detached at that juncture.@Barrister do you think believe or agree with the whole dumpers timeline concept? The idea that the girls only experience the pain, dumped men experience way, months later when the repercussions of their actions hit them. Or no? (Inversely, dumped men experience pain upfront but are better months later).
I think there is a lot of truth in what you say based on my own personal experiences in LTR. Reflecting back on some of my break ups over the recent years. In hindsight, some of my exes started to look for exit signs and were slowly detaching themselves but I was oblivious to it at the time. For example, one ex I dated was constantly looking for signs that I was not good enough for her. Increasingly, she started to keep score only to use them as reasons to break up ignoring all the good. Another ex, began reading into personality disorders 1 month before dumping me and trying to fit me into one because I was a more confident person. Whatever amalgamations they made, when it was happening and underway I wrote it off, downplayed it or ignored it. But in hindsight, it was so clear, the detachment had begun and they were looking for the impetus to exit. Your words are gold.Keep this in mind for your future LTRs. It will save you a load of grief if you can recognize this dynamic at play during the relationship and know it is time to begin protecting yourself so you aren't caught with your pants down.
Women will look for anything to justify their actions so they can "save face" with the outside world. They are also masters of bending the truth (or outright lying sometimes) to make you sound like a huge a$$ to anyone who will listen. "I had to break up with jamesfromhouston. He was a borderline narcissist with mommy issues and never let me do anything I wanted. He didn't let me be ME."I think there is a lot of truth in what you say based on my own personal experiences in LTR. Reflecting back on some of my break ups over the recent years. In hindsight, some of my exes started to look for exit signs and were slowly detaching themselves but I was oblivious to it at the time. For example, one ex I dated was constantly looking for signs that I was not good enough for her. Increasingly, she started to keep score only to use them as reasons to break up ignoring all the good. Another ex, began reading into personality disorders 1 month before dumping me and trying to fit me into one because I was a more confident person. Whatever amalgamations they made, when it was happening and underway I wrote it off, downplayed it or ignored it. But in hindsight, it was so clear, the detachment had begun and they were looking for the impetus to exit. Your words are gold.
Came from a break up recently and i did make a post about it where i keep it updated but many of the details that you guys mentioned are spot on . My ex started pulling the plug 2-3 months before we really break up but she was weak to let me go cause i was always indifferent. The first and only time i was angy when we break up , was when things finished forever and gave her a concrete reason to go . That being said though, i don’t believe it’s a woman’s fault but it’s because of our weakness as men and that once we enter into a relationship we stop being competitive and we become complacent.Women will look for anything to justify their actions so they can "save face" with the outside world. They are also masters of bending the truth (or outright lying sometimes) to make you sound like a huge a$$ to anyone who will listen. "I had to break up with jamesfromhouston. He was a borderline narcissist with mommy issues and never let me do anything I wanted. He didn't let me be ME."
Good riddance.
‘Dark arts’… lol what a term. Maybe she was covering something up but the imagery of it being dark arts, lolAh, you can see this one has a fair amount of skill in the dark arts. You aren't dealing with a rookie here.
Please, for the love of god, do not fall for this bait. Do not respond, and move on with your life.
Euphemism for being a good emotional manipulator lol.‘Dark arts’… lol what a term. Maybe she was covering something up but the imagery of it being dark arts, lol
How old are you, grandpa?Hey Dude. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Take it from an old-timer. This same thing has happened to me several times and they always came back. Only thing is... I was over them and didn't care enough to take them back (Including my ex-wife a few years ago) I HAD MOVED ON. and remember what the Great Yogi Berra said "IT ANINT OVER TILL IT'S OVER".
I was doing No Contact back in the 80's
My guess is she won't be as thirsty as you are for validation of relevancy.i hope that she reaches out though so i can have the final blow by not responding. 7 days in, let’s go.
probably otherwise she would’ve texted already. You’re probably right. Even though I know she will be hurt sometimes late at night and miss me even if she’s fvcking already someone else. All good though. NC forever @AmsterdamAssassinMy guess is she won't be as thirsty as you are for validation of relevancy.
As long as you keep thinking about her (positive or negative) you will sustain an emotional connection. Put her out of mind. Been there, done that. And move on, find someone else to give your feelings to.probably otherwise she would’ve texted already. You’re probably right. Even though I know she will be hurt sometimes late at night and miss me even if she’s fvcking already someone else. All good though. NC forever @AmsterdamAssassin