The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[attic]

I have to admit this is the first time I've ever experienced a girl ghosting me like this.

It's one thing if we had a major fight we it was kind of mutual and she texted me a few times and asked to see me once. Granted I might've got a little AFC but I wasn't begging or anything just said I missed her and didn't want to lose her.

Obviously by saying that I gave her the upper hand but I don't get why she wouldn't just say hey.. it's not going to work out best of luck ect.

I did tell her to take her time and think about things and we can talk in the
Future if you want but still I don't get the radio silence.


Do I tack her lack of communication as an indicator that she had no interest in me. Is she shagging up with another guy and just wants to avoid me?

Obviously I can't reach out but don't get why she would ask to meet up and then text a couple times and the ghost without telling m it's over

So I tell her it's done so at least I have peace of mind or just stay no contact. Obviously she is practising no contact

Need some help form the gurus here

If you want to talk to her, call her and tell her that and have a time and location in mind. No more texts.

If you are overly anxious thinking about this, then you are not in a position to dominate her in the face to face.

Were I you, I would give it 60 days of NC, and I would block her during this time. What will happen when you block her is you will allow yourself to focus on you and improve yourself.


She said she feels lost. Only you can decide if she's worth suffering for, but it will cause you real pain if you hang on with this girl.

 

[Rxnxg]

08.06.2017 - I'm gonna do the challenge, since I still love my ex and I want to move on, I've tried to get her back and was futile.
She messages me everyday, so I'm just gonna reply if it's necessary or reply shortly to cut the conversation, I know it's gonna hurt A LOT, but I have to.

I feel like if I block her when I come back she will not be there anymore, since she has enough attention to "replace" my presence.

 

[Rxnxg]

I reached out to her one more time. I know its a bad idea but it happened. She replied back from my text yesterday and then I basically told her today that I hope she makes her way back to me after she responded saying she felt lost. That was it. Just a simple 1 liner.

In hindsight I should just stay NC but she kind of manipulated me saying she wishes I was there to support her. I don't even know what the hell this means since I already told her that I wanted to work things out.

Anyways, she has ghosted me since the last text.

But the positive about this is I feel like its out of my hands now. I've started my position and I don't have to wonder or second guess myself.

I've already decided that I'm going to take a break of women if things don't work out with me ex.

My last breakup I ended up sleeping with 5-6 women in a couple months and it didn't really do anything for me. I had a hard time staying hard because I didn't have any connection at all and was just using them for sex.

I'm also finally beat my porn addiction that I feel is responsible for ruining my last 2 relationships. Its pretty messed up but if I don't watch porn I have no labido and I need to think of my fav sex scenes to stay hard with women a lot of the time. On day 5 of NoFap.

I think you tried everything that was in your hands to get her back, but the NC rule is not about getting her back or not, it's about you being fine. I'm not in position to tell you that since probably i'm ****ing up more than you, but you have to think about yourself and let her go.

If she really loves you she will come back to you after you're done with the no contact, and i'm sure that without the pain you're feeling now you will be able to talk with her better, and decide if you really want to try or not to be with her if there is any possibility.

Best regards,

 

[finality]

Day 2. Still don't understand the radio silence on her part.

Looking at it objectively it has to mean she doesn't care thought right?

She either already has another guy she is shacking up with... this would explain the distance and fighting the week before we broke up or she just doesn't care about me.

Perhaps her ghosting me is her way of not dealing with the guilt of monkey branching?

Either way, her silience does not indicate anything positive as far as getting back together.

Part of me is tempted is to say something of the effect that I'm moving on.. more for my own peace of mind.. but at the same time every message I send just gives her a bit of power.

I guess I'm a little jaded because my last ex could not go more than a few days of no contact. I've legit never had a girl go radio silent on me.

 

[finality]

Called her and she didn't pick up. Just wanted at least some kind of closure. Guess it really is over.

 

[Reboot2017]

Called her and she didn't pick up. Just wanted at least some kind of closure. Guess it really is over.

Do not really think it is over but girls work on attention. And the more attention you pour on her, the more validated she feels and the easier it is to ignore you and branch swing. Withdraw your attention, live your life for real and get yourself a mission in life and she might come back. Key word there is might because nothing is certain in life. However, this is your best option at the moment in my humble opinion. Also, try rereading the post below. Applicable for both you and Rxnxg I think. I wouldn't recommend doing NC to manipulate her back but it could be used for the dark arts like many guys can attest to...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-just-got-dumped-guide.155594/

 

[soulforge]

Do not really think it is over but girls work on attention. And the more attention you pour on her, the more validated she feels and the easier it is to ignore you and branch swing. Withdraw your attention, live your life for real and get yourself a mission in life and she might come back. Key word there is might because nothing is certain in life. However, this is your best option at the moment in my humble opinion. Also, try rereading the post below. Applicable for both you and Rxnxg I think. I wouldn't recommend doing NC to manipulate her back but it could be used for the dark arts like many guys can attest to...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-just-got-dumped-guide.155594/

Hi Reebot just wanted your opinion.. I completely blocked my ex, and even changed my mobile number..

She cannot text, or ring at all... extreme no contact...

This has been a mixed bag of emotions for me..

In one hand, i know on occasions my ex treated me poorly, she disrespected me, and showed no accountability or remorse for it..

So she deserves to be blocked and gotten rid of...

Then there are days where I feel like... what if she realises her mistake.. what if she wants to reach out, and try to rebuild a better relationship...

By going extreme NC on her.. I will never know???


But.. i am pretty much going with my gut instinct right now, on the basis, that this woman is NOT good for me..

She cannot, and will not change... and removing this cancer forever is my ONLY option...

 

[Reboot2017]

Hi Reebot just wanted your opinion.. I completely blocked my ex, and even changed my mobile number..

She cannot text, or ring at all... extreme no contact...

This has been a mixed bag of emotions for me..

In one hand, i know on occasions my ex treated me poorly, she disrespected me, and showed no accountability or remorse for it..

So she deserves to be blocked and gotten rid of...

Then there are days where I feel like... what if she realises her mistake.. what if she wants to reach out, and try to rebuild a better relationship...

By going extreme NC on her.. I will never know???


But.. i am pretty much going with my gut instinct right now, on the basis, that this woman is NOT good for me..

She cannot, and will not change... and removing this cancer forever is my ONLY option...

I guess the point is to revisit your original reason for NC. It is not to get her back (I hope) but rather to move on and become a better person who can attract quality people (not just women). I have been following your posts soulforge for a while now and I think you are inflicted with an overdose of oneitis. I feel for you and I guess she must have been a hell of a broad despite all the shortcomings. However, I think your instinct is dead on about her and you do deserve better and not some post wall chick's beta provider. Listen to all the other posters on this and do not doubt yourself regardless of how you feel at times.

Realize the problem is not her and getting her to change so that you guys can have a Disney ending. The problem is what is up with your life and why do you need a woman to fill the hole that you have in it. If I am not mistaken, something to do with finance. I imagine you get that sorted out, continue lifting and keep on strict NC, you will wake one day with 3 super hot models half your age in your bed. The best part about it is, you will be annoyed that they are taking up so much space and all you want to do is get some sleep... I imagine at that point you will think of your ex and say a silent thank you to her for putting you on the right path... Stay strong brother.

 

[Rxnxg]

Called her and she didn't pick up. Just wanted at least some kind of closure. Guess it really is over.

Don't do it again, stay strong and you'll be fine soon enough!

 

[soulforge]

I guess the point is to revisit your original reason for NC. It is not to get her back (I hope) but rather to move on and become a better person who can attract quality people (not just women). I have been following your posts soulforge for a while now and I think you are inflicted with an overdose of oneitis. I feel for you and I guess she must have been a hell of a broad despite all the shortcomings. However, I think your instinct is dead on about her and you do deserve better and not some post wall chick's beta provider. Listen to all the other posters on this and do not doubt yourself regardless of how you feel at times.

Realize the problem is not her and getting her to change so that you guys can have a Disney ending. The problem is what is up with your life and why do you need a woman to fill the hole that you have in it. If I am not mistaken, something to do with finance. I imagine you get that sorted out, continue lifting and keep on strict NC, you will wake one day with 3 super hot models half your age in your bed. The best part about it is, you will be annoyed that they are taking up so much space and all you want to do is get some sleep... I imagine at that point you will think of your ex and say a silent thank you to her for putting you on the right path... Stay strong brother.

Thank you bro... I am somewhat proud of myself, as i have managed 4 months NC and have not even once caved in..

I had the urges to contact her yes.. but I battled through those feelings..

Sometimes we get days of weakness, but thanks to guys like you, and your encouragement, we pull through another day.. another week.. another month..

I guess i am feeling a little down at the moment because.. lifting and training was something that was SERIOUSLY getting me through this break up..

I was feeling strong, looking bigger, and feeling better.. but last week I managed to get a shoulder injury.. rotator cuff..

And i have to lay off the training for a while.. really gutted about this, but I have no choice but to rest, recover..

But i'm not going to let this injury defeat me.. once my shoulder is feeling better, i will get straight back on it...

Hitting the gym again, improving my finances.. become a much better version of me..

Thank you for the encouragement man.. it's appreciated

 

[Reboot2017]

Thank you bro... I am somewhat proud of myself, as i have managed 4 months NC and have not even once caved in..

I had the urges to contact her yes.. but I battled through those feelings..

Sometimes we get days of weakness, but thanks to guys like you, and your encouragement, we pull through another day.. another week.. another month..

I guess i am feeling a little down at the moment because.. lifting and training was something that was SERIOUSLY getting me through this break up..

I was feeling strong, looking bigger, and feeling better.. but last week I managed to get a shoulder injury.. rotator cuff..

And i have to lay off the training for a while.. really gutted about this, but I have no choice but to rest, recover..

But i'm not going to let this injury defeat me.. once my shoulder is feeling better, i will get straight back on it...

Hitting the gym again, improving my finances.. become a much better version of me..

Thank you for the encouragement man.. it's appreciated

You should be proud man. 4 months NC given your situation is quite a feat. It is quite motivating for me as well to read the struggles from guys like you on the board... It keeps on the straight and the narrow.

Ah damn man.. Sorry about the injury. Happened to me about 6 weeks ago. Just got back but am taking it slow too on the weights. Phew, tough when you lose the pain and resulting liberation only iron can bring. What helped me get through it is dancing. I continued doing that and now I get the same level of passion from it as working out.

 

[finality]

Deleted her from social media and then sent one last text that I thought I deserved better than a ghosting. Bye.

No contact day 1 boys

 

[resilient]

Deleted her from social media and then sent one last text that I thought I deserved better than a ghosting. Bye.

No contact day 1 boys

I wouldn't have text that last zinger.

Anyway.... good for you for deleting her from social media. Never be tempted to lurk or snoop once you've severed the cord. She's a part of your past now.

Now is the time to look forward and be strong...

- Stick to your strict discipline of NC.
- Hit the gym/exercise/cardio to get into shape (or to get into even better shape).
- Work on all other various aspects of your life.
- Take up/resume hobbies/interests you've meaning to get around to.

 

[Rxnxg]

Deleted her from social media and then sent one last text that I thought I deserved better than a ghosting. Bye.

No contact day 1 boys

Happy to hear that, and also I agree with resilent, your last text should have been something actually "good", like just telling her how you feel and telling her that you need time. But it doesn't matter at all, time to enjoy life and be happy again.

 

[MrAddiction]

Happy to hear that, and also I agree with resilent, your last text should have been something actually "good", like just telling her how you feel and telling her that you need time. But it doesn't matter at all, time to enjoy life and be happy again.

No. That is definately wrong. His also Text should at least no been a Text at all. There was no Need to Text her anything. It just Shows her, you care and she still has a grip an you.
Ignoring her ghosting would turn the Situation around and make her hamster spin. But Even that should nötig be important. She is an ex. And the day the former girlfriend becomes an ex, everythings about her is uniteresting. It does nötig matter what she thinks, does, might think or might do.
And as stated way often before: Never ever go back to an ex.

 

[MrAddiction]

@soulforge
Watch this and other vids of this guy. Somebody posted a Link to one of his vids here and i watched many of his and it Helped me tremendous. You know we have or had kind a similar Situation getting over the Ex.

He Talks about the addiction to the x because of the permanant highs and lows. She was the poison and offered the cure for that same poison in one person. She made you suffer and then was there to be your nurse. I can not find that special vid - but they are all worth watching.

Watch his vids. He knows about this shyt.

 

[soulforge]

@soulforge
Watch this and other vids of this guy. Somebody posted a Link to one of his vids here and i watched many of his and it Helped me tremendous. You know we have or had kind a similar Situation getting over the Ex.

He Talks about the addiction to the x because of the permanant highs and lows. She was the poison and offered the cure for that same poison in one person. She made you suffer and then was there to be your nurse. I can not find that special vid - but they are all worth watching.

Watch his vids. He knows about this shyt.

Hey Mr Addiction thank you for the video man.. really appreciate this...

I am trying to look at it exactly the same way, as an addict coming of a nasty drug...

Will watch both videos, i am sure they will be a great help

 

[attic]

I think you tried everything that was in your hands to get her back, but the NC rule is not about getting her back or not, it's about you being fine. I'm not in position to tell you that since probably i'm ****ing up more than you, but you have to think about yourself and let her go.

If she really loves you she will come back to you after you're done with the no contact, and i'm sure that without the pain you're feeling now you will be able to talk with her better, and decide if you really want to try or not to be with her if there is any possibility.

Best regards,

This is well said. It's about getting yourself back so you can be the guy you want to be and attract women who meet you on your healthy level.


I'm now on day 37 NC. I have had my bouts with wanting to establish contact. Part of this with me is that I know I could get her back,... and so I'm realizing I'm in control. I'm just now beginning to decide I don't want it, NC has been pivotal.

You can still be a great guy while ignoring a toxic woman. Not rocket science.

Mr Addiction has the right advice here. Only thing I would add is that, it remains a choice with how you handle an Ex. It's your responsibility to make the best choice.

Thanks for the vids.

 

[finality]

ex texts me "im not ghosting you"

thats it.. nothing else in the text.

 

[Reboot2017]

ex texts me "im not ghosting you"

thats it.. nothing else in the text.

Uh oh... She is baiting you to validate her... Don't fall for it. As hard as it is, block her instead and thank yourself 2 months down the road...