The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[soulforge]

Keep going man... You probably do not realize it but it is darkest just before you reach the end. You are probably close to moving on permanently. Keep faith and lift.

Day 37 of NC. I stopped reading this forum every day. Another sign I am coming to grips with what happened and am moving on. I have actively taken charge of my life. One of the biggest sticking point for me was I was bored out of my skull with my work and it was stressing me out. So, I asked for a long break from it and moreover started looking for a job in Paris. If I move to the capital this year, life will change drastically. And that is exactly what the doctor ordered. A drastic change. Started working out again after 3 weeks of injury in the shoulder. Also dancing like there is no tomorrow. It relaxes me and fires a forgotten passion. Maybe that is it. I replaced thoughts of her with dance choreography.

I am far from game as you can get and sometimes the loneliness hits below the belt. Important thing is I can rationalize it out. I am working hard at being at peace with being on my own. I don't have all the answers yet. Not by a long shot. But am moving forward.

Oh yeah, she messaged my brother to ask about me. He did not bother replying. Blood always runs thicker than anything else... She been sending me emails and I have been pointedly ignoring them. I will get through this and I will be stronger for it...

Hope you guys are rocking under the summer skies without the clouds of the past...

Keep going my friend, the change of job will do you a world of good.. also if your not already... keep lifting, hitting the gym hard.. wiĺl really help you pull through

 

[Reboot2017]

Keep going my friend, the change of job will do you a world of good.. also if your not already... keep lifting, hitting the gym hard.. wiĺl really help you pull through

Thanks man... Eyes on the doughnut I guess and never the hole. Summer days are easing the transition and amen to keeping busy.

 

[Firestar786]

Its the holiday weekend here in th Uk.. so i can already feel its going to be a tough day..

Usually we would had been heading out, for the beach together etc..


I will have to soldier it out.. 4 NC i've come too far to give in now.

Bro
Do what I done
Find a new slag to play with
Online dating is very easy to find new pussay.
In my no contact I found a new woman who I ended up getting married to she was that good lol

 

[soulforge]

Bro
Do what I done
Find a new slag to play with
Online dating is very easy to find new pussay.
In my no contact I found a new woman who I ended up getting married to she was that good lol

Haha how long after breaking up, did you find this woman?

I am trying out online dating.. had a few dates.. getting quite alot of numbers.. probably just a matter of time till I meet a new chick...

I currently have a plate, who will literally do anything for me sexualy.. 3sums, the lot...

But i wouldn't even consider her for a LTR

I guess I miss the connection I had with my ex.. but the bad outweighed the good.. and she wasn't what you would call a good caring woman..

At times very nasty... stupid ass hoe!

 

[attic]

I started NC nearly 3 months ago from a Cluster B. It's one of those things you don't know till you know. I have found strength in company from posters here, the harsh truth about these women.. its gratifying to know i'm not alone and that the struggle is real.

Broke down twice
-One Text
-One Call

Both were met with results that caused me pain, I am somewhat addicted this so it's been a challenge to not sabotage myself. The emotions i've experienced here have ranged from feeling deathly empty inside (what I believe was a depressive episode) to many feelings of release, to many many desires to be in contact in any form.

These types of women have zero responsibility or accountability for their behaviors.

Day 30 here now. I have her blocked, something very important to do for my well being and distance. This morning was as difficult as the days after our breakup, I was heartbroken again! I'm surprised to still be this affected. I've tried to limit my exposure to message boards because at a certain point it is unhealthy, though i'm curious as a MF'r about the dynamic of BPD in relationships.


I can understand that if I pursued NC and stuck with it, I would be healthier and stronger for it. Where I have been on this path is realizing i'm codependent and my childhood parents greased the path for me to be taken advantage of by BPD's and narcissists. My challenge has been largely related to accepting that I'm responsible for letting this woman treat me like ****. I need to rewire some pathways, no question i'll be strong for the experience, but I have been beat up by it. I am hopeful that continued NC will be a message to myself that I value myself.

I dated a BPD in my early 20's, i'm 36 now.

Looking forward to reporting back at 60 days.

 

[Firestar786]

Haha how long after breaking up, did you find this woman?

I am trying out online dating.. had a few dates.. getting quite alot of numbers.. probably just a matter of time till I meet a new chick...

I currently have a plate, who will literally do anything for me sexualy.. 3sums, the lot...

But i wouldn't even consider her for a LTR

I guess I miss the connection I had with my ex.. but the bad outweighed the good.. and she wasn't what you would call a good caring woman..

At times very nasty... stupid ass hoe!

Bro fvxk this ex. A decent woman behind you will make or break you. My ex, with her I was always broke unmotivated, bickering over her ****e
My new woman I have never felt better, wealthier the lot.

We can waste our time thinking about these sad biatchs but its time wasted.

There's an old saying, go **** 5 new women and c if you forget tje first

Also, do u want to look back on your life In several years and think "fvxk I wasted so much time on that ho"?

The time has come to find quality, decent women instead of partnering up ourselves with these psycho slags

 

[narcissist]

I broke up with my girl for good last night. I have nothing but love and kindness for her, but the relationship was going no where and she is too young. We just have different goals and want to lead different lifestyles. So, I finally pulled the trigger. I feel really good about my decision.

No resentment or hatred. None at all. Just, its whats gotta be done.

Day 1, unofficial no contact (because I still have to grab my stuff from her house.) I will do it tomorrow - as i can't do it today.

 

[finality]

Day 1 of NC.

I'm 34 and she is 28. I've been with her around 6 months. The first 3-4 months were great but the last couple months we would argue over the dumbest stuff. The last couple weeks she seemed pretty distant and we seemed like friends more than lovers. Last week we got in a fight and she said she would get her stuff and leave... and basically just went around my house and found anything that was hers so I wouldn't need to see her again. I broke a few days ago and told her that I didn't want things to end the way the did. She agreed. I asked to see her but she said she was busy. With another guy I'm sure. Today so asked to hang out and I agreed. We talked for like 20 minutes. I told her I didn't want to lose her but she gave me the " I need to figure things out, work on myself speech'" We all know what that means. Then she said it wasn't working before and I just brought negativity in her life. told her I couldn't be friends with someone I love. I told her to figure things out and call me in a few weeks. I probably acted like a AFC but whatever.

I went through a terrible breakout a year ago. I got through that and I'll get over this one too. I think in reality we were probably just rebounds from previous relationships. I deleted our pictures from facebook. I will never reach out.

 

[soulforge]

Bro fvxk this ex. A decent woman behind you will make or break you. My ex, with her I was always broke unmotivated, bickering over her ****e
My new woman I have never felt better, wealthier the lot.

We can waste our time thinking about these sad biatchs but its time wasted.

There's an old saying, go **** 5 new women and c if you forget tje first

Also, do u want to look back on your life In several years and think "fvxk I wasted so much time on that ho"?

The time has come to find quality, decent women instead of partnering up ourselves with these psycho slags

This is true man.. my ex was never on my side.. she was rather selfish.. uncaring.. and i knew in my gut she was false all along, but never had the guts to walk

Bro fvxk this ex. A decent woman behind you will make or break you. My ex, with her I was always broke unmotivated, bickering over her ****e
My new woman I have never felt better, wealthier the lot.

We can waste our time thinking about these sad biatchs but its time wasted.

There's an old saying, go **** 5 new women and c if you forget tje first

Also, do u want to look back on your life In several years and think "fvxk I wasted so much time on that ho"?

The time has come to find quality, decent women instead of partnering up ourselves with these psycho slags

I hear you bro.. i mean seriously it was pretty much drama most of the time with my ex... she can be nice at times, then suddenly hit you with real disrespect and rudeness..

No apology nothing.. just straight up blaming and gas lighting..

Plus our relationship was long distance, she moved in with me for a while, but after disrespecting me infront of her family on Christmas Eve 2016, things where not the same again..

She moved out.. we went back to long distance again, which was a step backwards.. Again there was one final incident of disrespect from her, so I finally had enough, and I dumped her..

18 months wasted, but some very important lessons learnt.. been NC 4 now.. getting a little easier than before..

But you are right, why stay with a woman who just brings you down, behaves like a fuking moron.. better off to be alone than to be treated with disrespect.


Lets hope things improve for all of us, who are currently suffering from a toxic relationship!

 

[finality]

Day 2.

She texted me this morning say "you already delteted me from insta lol"

Deleted the message. Off the the gym. I've already lost 8 pounds in 5 days since the breakup since I have no appetite. Need to preserve muscle mass.

 

[soulforge]

Day 2.

She texted me this morning say "you already delteted me from insta lol"

Deleted the message. Off the the gym. I've already lost 8 pounds in 5 days since the breakup since I have no appetite. Need to preserve muscle mass.

Keep eating and training man... put your focus into gym, it well seriously get you through this

 

[Reboot2017]

I broke up with my girl for good last night. I have nothing but love and kindness for her, but the relationship was going no where and she is too young. We just have different goals and want to lead different lifestyles. So, I finally pulled the trigger. I feel really good about my decision.

Excellent way to take control of the situation and strike out like a real alpha. She will remember that more than anything else I imagine. Hope things are good thus far and you are keeping the moral up.

I've already lost 8 pounds in 5 days since the breakup since I have no appetite. Need to preserve muscle mass.

Mass gain powder helps a lot if you are not motivated to chow down. I lost 10 pounds due to my break up and have not being eating well since. However, thanks to the powder, I have regain 5 pounds and am still sustaining my bulk.

Day 43 of NC. Day 60 is looming up. I am going to cross the finish line soon enough. The pain has numbed. I rarely feel it anymore. Occasionally, I have this curiosity about what she is doing and who she is out with but its more of a niggling thing at the back of my mind rather than something that occupies me 100%. Having said, I have had bad days where I spent hours on bed contemplating and running through nonsensical things in my head. What is interesting is even in those states, I can eventually rationalize it out and snap out of it. Big relief there.

On the self development front, I am attacking a quadrant of private goals which keep me happy and occupied. I have been socializing a lot more due to dance. Bagged a HB7 Russian mom yesterday. Thanks again Salsa. Did not really make me happy to be honest. She comes with her own set of issues and ex problems. I am going to keep this on the edges of my social periphery for the moment. Cannot let this thing disrupt my goals. The only thing it made me realize that I am really on the right path. As my SMV is raising albeit slowly, I already notice the results of it. On the gym side, I started the 5x5 stronglift program. Lifting light due to persistent injury but things will turn around soon I hope. Like I said the last time, I am far from getting my life together but for the first time in a year, I feel upbeat.

Stay strong brothers. Peace.

 

[finality]

I ended up breaking contact the last 2 days. The first day she sent me a couple texts that I felt needed responding too. I called her shortly after but she didn't pick up. Then I sent her a message last night but she appears to be ghosting me.

I honestly thought we would be silent for a couple days and then end up back together.

Perhaps the whole thing was a power struggle to regain control after getting back together.

What seems obvious now is that I overestimated her interest level in me. She said the classic things like saying her name has a good ring to my last name, tAlked about wanting kids with me one day, she was in the process of moving in with me.

This really makes you over confident as a guy and in self reflection I was not the same guy in the end as I was in the beginning of the relationship. I let myself slip.

I went through a similar breakup a year ago and it was hell. Typical advice of bang a bunch of women and you will forget about her did not work for me. Eventually I powered through it and found my new ex but I believe I have unresolved issued from previous breakups and that's what is impacting my depressive state right now. I've had to take a week offf work because I cannot think straight.

 

[attic]

I ended up breaking contact the last 2 days. The first day she sent me a couple texts that I felt needed responding too. I called her shortly after but she didn't pick up. Then I sent her a message last night but she appears to be ghosting me.

...

Same thing happened to me. Let myself slip in the relationship.

Happens.

Bad idea to contact her. Also, if in back of your mind you thought you guys would get back together, that's great, but don't ever devalue that part of yourself by putting up with anything less from her, or yourself.

If you want to get back together that's fine. Only contact should be regarding that, don't let any other BS deflect from that.

If you still want to get back with her after 60 days, or more, of NC, then go for it. What kind of man is she going to want to be with in a relationship?, someone going out and kicking ass?, or someone waiting on his heels for her to fall back on?

Cliffs: Stay positive and move on. She will reach out once you do.

 

[MrAddiction]

If you still want to get back with her after 60 days, or more, of NC, then go for it

I do not think that this is such good advice.
Never get back with an ex. It will only get worse and the next breakup which is gonna be inevitable will only cause more pain.

 

[soulforge]

Do you guys think dumping a bad quality chick is an Alpha thing to do?

Even tho you loved her...

I dumped mine 4 months ago.. and blocked her ass completely..

How does a woman take being dumped for chitty behaviour, then getting blocked on everything???

 

[MrAddiction]

Do you guys think dumping a bad quality chick is an Alpha thing to do?

Even tho you loved her...

I dumped mine 4 months ago.. and blocked her ass completely..

How does a woman take being dumped for chitty behaviour, then getting blocked on everything???

This are all the wrong questions.
The right question: was it the right thing to do?
Answer: Yes ist was. And in your case - same as in mine - it was the only thing to do.
And if that beta/alpha thing is important to you: which beta would have the balls and willpower to Walk always from an unpleasing situation when he is in Love with a woman? None would.

 

[attic]

I do not think that this is such good advice.
Never get back with an ex. It will only get worse and the next breakup which is gonna be inevitable will only cause more pain.

Yes, you are correct.

 

[finality]

I reached out to her one more time. I know its a bad idea but it happened. She replied back from my text yesterday and then I basically told her today that I hope she makes her way back to me after she responded saying she felt lost. That was it. Just a simple 1 liner.

In hindsight I should just stay NC but she kind of manipulated me saying she wishes I was there to support her. I don't even know what the hell this means since I already told her that I wanted to work things out.

Anyways, she has ghosted me since the last text.

But the positive about this is I feel like its out of my hands now. I've started my position and I don't have to wonder or second guess myself.

I've already decided that I'm going to take a break of women if things don't work out with me ex.

My last breakup I ended up sleeping with 5-6 women in a couple months and it didn't really do anything for me. I had a hard time staying hard because I didn't have any connection at all and was just using them for sex.

I'm also finally beat my porn addiction that I feel is responsible for ruining my last 2 relationships. Its pretty messed up but if I don't watch porn I have no labido and I need to think of my fav sex scenes to stay hard with women a lot of the time. On day 5 of NoFap.

 

[finality]

I have to admit this is the first time I've ever experienced a girl ghosting me like this.

It's one thing if we had a major fight we it was kind of mutual and she texted me a few times and asked to see me once. Granted I might've got a little AFC but I wasn't begging or anything just said I missed her and didn't want to lose her.

Obviously by saying that I gave her the upper hand but I don't get why she wouldn't just say hey.. it's not going to work out best of luck ect.

I did tell her to take her time and think about things and we can talk in the
Future if you want but still I don't get the radio silence.


Do I tack her lack of communication as an indicator that she had no interest in me. Is she shagging up with another guy and just wants to avoid me?

Obviously I can't reach out but don't get why she would ask to meet up and then text a couple times and the ghost without telling m it's over

So I tell her it's done so at least I have peace of mind or just stay no contact. Obviously she is practising no contact

Need some help form the gurus here