"Romantic Rivalry" ??

[iqqi]

Hey Iqqi,

I just thought of another way to look at this. See if you can think of a single situation in which this woman's behavior would be appropriate. Under what circumstances would you encourage it?

If the answer is none, then you've answered your own question.

Good luck, and best wishes to you.

Hey Rosemarie.

I think that a person is entitled to a mistake or two. I think she acted that way out of historical insecurities. And that she is growing. I see her make better decisions every day. I see her confidence growing.

I think there are two kinds of confidence. The ****y hurtful competitive kind that is really used to mask insecurity, and the true kind that comes from within, and from knowing oneself. I think that a person like her walks both lines when they start growing, confusing the two, and THAT is the issue here. That inner struggle.

I don't think she did that out of purposeful competitiveness towards me.

I am very sure that she values my friendship, and truly cares about ME.

Because she is still at a point that is volatile and shifty, I will be more careful in the situations I find myself in, with her around.

 

[aliasguy]

Double digits in the page count. (And I know I'm making this thread a little longer.)

If a guy posted the same story, with the sexes reversed, and his buddy getting the digits from the chick, would our discussion have played out this long?

I know the dynamics for women are different, but good grief -- the analysis, and the detailed dissection of this event - wow.

If a guy posted this kind of story, he'd be told "You messed up, or she just isn't into you. Spin more plates." And, pretty much, that would be that.



I wrote on the FIRST page of this thread:

"You did what you did, Iqqi, and it didn't work.

Do something else next time."

 

[iqqi]

Good for you^^^

I guess that your hypothesis really explains STR8UP's last thread, and MNIN's as well.

There are some good thought provoking issues and ideas explored in this thread. Feel free to not involve yourself.

There are only 2 or so pages that exist soley due to non contributing posts and running commentary, like your last one, the rest is actually ON TOPIC.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Sorry, Miss "Icky" but maybe I missed a few details...

...are you going to be seeing your "crush" in the near future? Do you have any of his contact info? Will you still pursue him?

How are you going to be treating your rival/friend at the next go around?

 

[iqqi]

Sorry, Miss "Icky" but maybe I missed a few details...

...are you going to be seeing your "crush" in the near future? Do you have any of his contact info? Will you still pursue him?

How are you going to be treating your rival/friend at the next go around?

Life has been funny lately in the sense that the minute I think of someone, they appear. Such as crush guy appearing at this party. Just one week prior I mentioned drunkenly that I may indeed have a crush on this guy I never see, to a friend (you know how you ramble drunkenly on and say things that have nothing to do with nothing, and sometimes make REALIZATIONS!), and he appeared the following week.

This has happened way too much in the past year. It is EERIE. So I would not be surprised if I run into him soon. I think when I do, the door has been opened, and he will approach me. This is just chapter one, or prelude.

As for her, I addressed it briefly, and I will just be careful around her.

 

[AFC Savior]

seriously, WHO CARES???

why are we analyzing a woman's dating situation??


this isnt socosmo.com is it?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

14 pages...

....people care.

Sorry, AFCSavior, we're interested.
Edit: I mean 13 pages. Soon to be 14. LOLZ

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Life has been funny lately in the sense that the minute I think of someone, they appear. Such as crush guy appearing at this party. Just one week prior I mentioned drunkenly that I may indeed have a crush on this guy I never see, to a friend (you know how you ramble drunkenly on and say things that have nothing to do with nothing, and sometimes make REALIZATIONS!), and he appeared the following week.

This has happened way too much in the past year. It is EERIE. So I would not be surprised if I run into him soon. I think when I do, the door has been opened, and he will approach me. This is just chapter one, or prelude.

As for her, I addressed it briefly, and I will just be careful around her.

Well good for you! Hopefully when you try to pick up where you left off with him, he'll have already been done banging your friend and he'll have her out of his system!

EVERYBODY WINS! =D =D =D =D

 

[Latinoman]

That's all beside the point. Iqqi asked a very specific question, and it deserved a straight answer.

Excuse me? Is this the Cosmos Magazine or Jane's Magazine Forum? She deserves NOTHING. She is a woman asking advice in a MEN's forum.

More distractions. Age gaps between friends and your personal opinion on how many crushes a woman is allowed to have at which age aren't on point.

It is actually a HUGE point. It illustrates to the MEN that post in here that Iqqi is in NO position to be giving advice to ANYONE in here. She is not mature enough. In fact, she is probably under the allowed age to post in this particular forum.

The encouraging thing is that she did ask. She's thinking about it, considering the possibility that her own boundaries are a little too elastic, and based on what she describes about the situation, that's a step in the right direction.

Once again...this is a MEN's Forum. We are NOT here to help her. Needless to say...we are nice and we are cool...and we are TRYING to understand her and help her. The problem is...she does not want to listen. Which brings me to the early point: She is NOT mature enough.

 

[iqqi]

"we we we", Thanks for speaking for all the men of this board ^^^

 

[Latinoman]

From LovelyLady:

What sets us women apart from one another is when we are a woman who loves well - right from the start - and it has been my experience that to a good man - a woman loving him well and respecting him consistantly from the very first interaction - is what holds his interest long enough to not have him flake and chase another woman after he and I connect.

Also, why should your friend remain "loyal" to you when a good guy comes her way and she sees you off flirting with other men? From what you have said YOU set the tone that night that all was fair in Don Juan gaming - sounds like you want to play by one set of rules and expect him and her to play by another.

FINALLY somebody that gets it.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Latinoman. What are you trying to do here?

 

[Latinoman]

It would probably really freak you out to know I almost dated an 18 year old last year. THAT was a close call.

I have decided to wait until he is 25, THEN I will accept his date. Besides his age however, he is pretty darned mature and has qualities in a man I RARELY see in anyone of any age.

I almost wept when I found out he had JUST GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!

This is the mentallity of either an IMMATURE woman...or a woman that is not old enough to post in here...or a woman that works in McDonald or Burger King.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Oh...I see. Nevermind.

 

[Latinoman]

Double digits in the page count. (And I know I'm making this thread a little longer.)

If a guy posted the same story, with the sexes reversed, and his buddy getting the digits from the chick, would our discussion have played out this long?

I know the dynamics for women are different, but good grief -- the analysis, and the detailed dissection of this event - wow.

If a guy posted this kind of story, he'd be told "You messed up, or she just isn't into you. Spin more plates." And, pretty much, that would be that.



I wrote on the FIRST page of this thread:

"You did what you did, Iqqi, and it didn't work.

Do something else next time."

The reason the count is so high is very simple: She is being ARGUMENTATIVE. The reason she is being argumentative is because she want to have a HIGH count thread. And the reason she is doing that is because she is a Troll.

In the past, I created a thread in a couple FEMALE message boards. I have a considerably higher page/post count than this one. My goal was to make it longer as I didn't care much for that women's message board. Iqqi is doing the same here.

 

[Latinoman]

Oh...I see. Nevermind.

She is a Troll. My questions and interaction and posts were to gather enough information. She is a Troll and she is trying to get a lot of attention. She is...but at the same time...she is getting exposed.

By the time people are done reading this thing...they will reach the same conclusion: She is a TROLL.

 

[iqqi]

This is the mentallity of either an IMMATURE woman...or a woman that is not old enough to post in here...or a woman that works in McDonald or Burger King.

You are retarded. I already explained why I do not discriminate on age. You keep bringing it up. Weird.

It goes both ways. I also dated a 41 year old when I was 22. AGE DOES NOT MATTER TO ME as much as personality and life experiences.

You have resorted to just personal flaming, so I bid you adieu.

 

[Latinoman]

Well...we have established (quite clearly) that I'm not "retarded".

What we have NOT established yet is if you are IMMATURE...or NOT OLD ENOUGH TO POST IN HERE...or if you work in MCDONALDs/BURGER KING.

 

[Rosemarie]

Excuse me? Is this the Cosmos Magazine or Jane's Magazine Forum? She deserves NOTHING. She is a woman asking advice in a MEN's forum.

Then give her nothing. How difficult is that?

It is actually a HUGE point. It illustrates to the MEN that post in here that Iqqi is in NO position to be giving advice to ANYONE in here. She is not mature enough. In fact, she is probably under the allowed age to post in this particular forum.

That's the mods' call.

Once again...this is a MEN's Forum. We are NOT here to help her. Needless to say...we are nice and we are cool...and we are TRYING to understand her and help her. The problem is...she does not want to listen. Which brings me to the early point: She is NOT mature enough.

Again, the mods' call.

As far as listening is concerned, that's Iqqi's call. However, comparisons of the hotness of two women you've never even seen pictures of, much less met, isn't worth listening to. It's an ad hominem argument and fallacious to boot, because you can't produce any evidence to support it.

You can't provide proof of her age or her place of employment, either, although you bring them up obsessively. As an attempt to get Iqqi on the defensive and change the subject, it's a valiant effort. That doesn't make it worth listening to.

As far as the maturity gap between 21 and 28, for all we know, these two women might very well be at a similar place in life, at least on a few issues. It sounds like it, given that neither of them are sure whether this is appropriate behavior.

Mutual interests have a great deal to do with forming friendships, at least among women. Friendships can span generations if the interests are right. Or are two women with a passion for gardening, say, not allowed to hang out if there's more than two years' difference between them?

And do kindly provide us with the Official Guide to How Many Crushes Women Are Allowed To Have At Any Given Time, broken down by age and explained according to accepted norms of female psychological development, with footnotes leading to properly reviewed and published studies.

 

[Latinoman]

That's the mods' call.

AND

Again, the mods' call.

Typical woman (lacking leadership and accountability).