"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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"You're so easy going!"

Life-Trainee

Master Don Juan
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A girl whom I'm working on a class project with occasionally throws in observation "Oh, you're so easygoing!". You probably see why I would be worried. I don't think I've been acting submissive but getting such reaction from her must indicate that I'm doing something wrong. She made these comments in the context of myself making choices for our project's insignificant details. These were just little things that didn't matter to me because they had very little significance (i.e. Wording of the speech for our presentation and presentation design). Nonetheless, I'm a bit surprised she'd make this comments over something so insignificant. Do you think she might be testing me to see whether I am really "easygoing" pvssy? I'm worried about this because I'm definately casting some image or behavior that might classify me as a nice guy. And once people establish that image, it can be hard to brush it off. In the past couple of months women have called me "nice" and "sweet" without much justification. I'm not sacrificing my interests in favor of these women. I must have attributes that portray me as a nice guy on the surface if I'm getting such reaction.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Disco

Senior Don Juan
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Dude easy going is a good compliment in my book. What are you talking about. What does easy going have to do with being a nice guy or a *****? Jeasus sometimes I wonder about some of you. I'm an ex ameteur boxer and I've been told that I'm one of the most chill people anyone has ever met. Easy going and chill are a good combination.
 
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If women are calling you 'nice' and 'sweet' then maybe you are giving off signals that you are a pansy and a pushover! This is not good.

"Easy-going" could mean that you are calm and collected and not easily rattled or not too hyper. Or it could mean you don't have a passion or drive in what you are doing.
 

Disco

Senior Don Juan
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Then again, I've never been dumped for being too nice.
 

SDBmania

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What's wrong with that?

People call me "Nice" and "Sweet." I've always been like that, because I know what it's like when people are not nice to you. Had to endure six years of meanness. So, I have always made it policy to be nice to everyone. That doesn't make me a pushover. Why can't I be nice and sweet and yet still be a strong man who isn't a pushover? Oh wait I think I am.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

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