'You're intense'

[FortunateSon]

When someone calls you intense, what does it mean? And what are they referring to? Numerous women have called me an intense person and even some men that I have met or know have also called me intense. I never really took any notice of it before until yesterday when my brother-in-law said I was an intense person! I asked him what he meant but he would expand further on what he meant.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Seeming too intense can include the following:

1) Staring to deeply and intensely into someone's eyes
2) Compulsively needing to comment on every little comment someone makes
3) Compulsively needing to comment on every little aspect of the environment
4) Compulsively needing to comment on the dynamics of the relationship
5) Speaking aggressively
6) Seeming interested "in principal" but remaining personally detached, as if observing and not participating in the interaction
7) Speaking with too much vocal inflection (dramatically)

Those are a few off the top of my head. I'm sure others will chime in.

 

[Chamber36]

I have trouble with it myself sometimes.

I would compulsively AMOG a person, by shaking their hand a certain way, or keeping really strong eye-contact. I noticed some people got annoyed by the compulsive AMOG-ing so I tried to tone it down. I'm still trying to look for the right balance between humble and arrogant.

I just try to see the humor in everything and lighten up.

 

[Chamber36]

It doesn't have anything to do with aggression or intimidation. It's just subtle AMOG-ing. Pats on the shoulder, being the one to end the handshake, etc. And when you shake someone's hand, your hands have to be level. If one person's palm is angled downward, that's a subtle form of AMOGing. When I watched some documentaries on body-language I noticed I was doing politician bull-crap.

Personally I like to be militant. But I don't like to interfere with other people's personal space.

I'm not a domineering guy. I just don't like to be fvcked with.

All in all, I see it like this: trying to AMOG someone is just another form of qualifying yourself/overcompensation.

 

[bigneil]

Intense is not necessarily a bad thing.

 

[betheman]

Depends on who is saying it. If its a girl and only she is saying it, forget it, its just something she has a problem with and is maybe sh!t testing you, if more than on person says it, colleagues, fellow students, take note. its a sign you take yourself and the world too seriously. being intense isnt necessarily a bad thing but you have to apply its right, socialy its never good though

 

[FortunateSon]

There seems to be mixed views here.

I honestly have no idea what I do to be labelled 'intense'.

I don't even think I'm an Alpha male and I don't walk around acting tough.

I never enter a room with the intention of being the focal point of attention.

I'm quite quiet and reserved, I rarely smile unless I'm happy. I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

If someone crosses the boundaries of what I think isn't acceptable, I'll let them know about it.

At times my mood change like the weather.

I'm not afraid to voice my opinion on matters, even when not asked I'll still voice my opinion on something.

I still don't understand where the 'intense' comments are coming from.