Your tricks to gage sexual interest?

[cannibustacap]

I am friends with a few awesome girls. There is tension between us, its not like we are "just" friends or what-not.

I want to be able to gage if they are interested in me sexually, but its hard to distinguish between affectionate signals and attraction signals (I am a bit new to this)

In other words:
How can you tell if your female friends are into you sexually and how do you make a move. And if she isn't into you, how do you back off and make it seem like nothing. (I still want to be friends with them regardless. Female friends can be really fun to talk to)

I think even the kiss test wouldn't work.. they would probably pass the test and when I kiss they'd be like "uhh what are you doing?"

I'm not sure, again I am new to this whole sexual communication thing. I get my signals crossed and I don't interpret them correctly all the time. Which is why I am asking you guys: what are your tricks in this arena?

 

[Interpol]

As the old saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. What do I mean by that? When you meet females you find attractive, you should initiate a sexual relationship as soon as possible - this way, there's no second guessing.

But...since it's too late for that in your case, there are other things you can try. You definitely want to try and use kino and gauge how they react to it. If positive, move on to more intimate things. Also, make somewhat sexual jokes or comments and see how they react.

Another approach is to look for clear signs of friendszone. Do they talk to you about other guys? Or give you advice on other girls? Hang out with you on weekdays, but never weekend nights? These are all usually signs of friendship.

 

[Bonhomme]

Simplest test

The simplest test of whether or not there's attraction is to "get in her space" a bit -- subtly position yourself a bit closer to her than you would in a typical interaction with somebody else. If she doesn't move away to re-establish her "space," chances are she's attracted to you. Then you can work the vibe, and see what happens.

"Making a move" isn't the right way to think about it. Escalating an interaction is a more subtle process of give-and-take (in most cases, at least), and is pretty much an art you just have to develop a sense for. Generally abrupt moves kill the vibe, unless you're already sexually involved.

********

Interpol's right, too. The right kind of eye contact, playful, flirty communication, and especially kino frames your whole interaction in a sexual, rather than "just friends," way straight off. As you get your game down, this will just come naturally. Do not underestimate the power of good eye contact and confident sexuality.

 

[Kourt]

What if when you make sexual comments the girl gets embarrased?

 

[KnightRyder]

Re: Simplest test

Originally posted by Bonhomme
The simplest test of whether or not there's attraction is to "get in her space" a bit -- subtly position yourself a bit closer to her than you would in a typical interaction with somebody else. If she doesn't move away to re-establish her "space," chances are she's attracted to you. Then you can work the vibe, and see what happens.

this sounds interesting however, ....it doesn't sound too definitive of a way of knowing. WHat if simply there is no other space for her to move , say at a club ?

 

[squirrels]

Touch her cooter.

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by Kourt
What if when you make sexual comments the girl gets embarrased?

It means she doesn't feel sexually open with you (either that, or your "sexual comments" were extremely vulgar).

 

[Bonhomme]

Obviously if there's absolutely no space to move, my "space test" is of no value.

In general. one should think of the concepts, not the mechanics.

One thing that can throw you, though: a lot of attached or even married women are more confidently flirty with men than gals who are available. Just because a gal shows signs of attraction, doesn't necessarily mean anything more can come of it.

 

[Pugsley_f5]

HAHA squirrels...rolling on the ground.......

 

[KnightRyder]

Originally posted by Bonhomme
Obviously if there's absolutely no space to move, my "space test" is of no value.

In general. one should think of the concepts, not the mechanics.

yup, I notice you are a student of body language, which book have you read ?

 

[Bonhomme]

Experience and observation, above all

It's not so much from study as experience, Knight Ryder.

Actually, I first encountered the "space test" listening to some very good tapes on communication by a woman named Leil Lowndes. (sp?) That just fit right in with my observations, as does all the best stuff. But the real key is learning the art by putting it in practice, and simply paying attention to what is going on. One really has to experience it to get a true sense of it.

As for literature, lately, I've been very impressed by Mike Pilinski's High Status Male ebook. It goes into great detail about the flow of romantic encounters. As with any of the best material, reading it was an "a-ha!" experience. Also Disciple's "Becoming a King" thread in the TIPS section, which -- inteerestingly enough -- fits with Pilinski's material like the other half of a puzzle.