"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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"your so different from all the other guys!"

D

Dave111

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I dated this French girl called Isabell last week. I met her in a bar in town and we got talking and we organised to meet up the following night for a date. We both went out the following night and had a great time,

She's 24 yrs old and I'm 21, so this is probably the oldest girl I've ever dated. She's been over in Scotland for two years, but unfortunatley she was leaving to go home to France tomorrow, so I'll probably never see her again.

She had a great personality and was absolutley stunning into the bargain, when we were out tons of guys were checking her out, so it felt good to be the man with her, (espeshially when I met my ex in one of the bars, she was extrememly nervous, which was bloody satisfying considering she'd dumped me a couple yrs back)! :D

anyway Isabel told me that she'd dated tons of guys since she'd been in Scotland, but told me that out of all of the men she'd dated, she prefered me the most and wanted to keep in touch. The thing is I dont think I can be bothered maintaining a long distance relationship with her, considering that its never worked for any of my other mates.

Whats your opinions on this?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

chili kat

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If it were me, I would forget about a relationship and move on in that respect, and just keep in touch with her in the event she comes back around for a visit in the future (or offers a place to visit). That is, unless I was looking specifically to settle into a LTR and didn't want this girl to pop up on me.

I wouldn't have a problem with a beautiful foreign babe flying in for a visit a year or two from now and be the one to take her out on the town....
 
O

Omega

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Originally posted by Dave111
I dated this French girl called Isabell last week. I met her in a bar in town and we got talking and we organised to meet up the following night for a date. We both went out the following night and had a great time,

She's 24 yrs old and I'm 21, so this is probably the oldest girl I've ever dated. She's been over in Scotland for two years, but unfortunatley she was leaving to go home to France tomorrow, so I'll probably never see her again.

She had a great personality and was absolutley stunning into the bargain, when we were out tons of guys were checking her out, so it felt good to be the man with her, (espeshially when I met my ex in one of the bars, she was extrememly nervous, which was bloody satisfying considering she'd dumped me a couple yrs back)! :D

anyway Isabel told me that she'd dated tons of guys since she'd been in Scotland, but told me that out of all of the men she'd dated, she prefered me the most and wanted to keep in touch. The thing is I dont think I can be bothered maintaining a long distance relationship with her, considering that its never worked for any of my other mates.

Whats your opinions on this?
Click to expand...
So don't. Keep it local, whenever she's in town.
 
K

KiInCollege

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After one date, you can't really consider any LTR move. Your initial attitude about this was right, and here's why.

If it were any other average looking girl, you wouldn't even be asking yourself this question. But she was "stunning." Really though, that's all she has that you can be certain about. It's not approproate to judge her personality after one date. You haven't had sex with her or built any other emotional bond. You can't make any romantic gestures over the phone or email, no "I miss yous," none of that.

So, the only option is to keep the door open, be friendly when you communicate with her but keep your emotional distance, and ask her when the next time she's coming back in town will be. No commitment agreements, even if she hints at it.

If you had dated her for 3 months or so and had sex, your options would be much different.
 
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