Your opinions needed please

[djgirl]

Hi there,
So I am in an interesting situation that I'd like your advice and opinions about, being men I'm sure you could give me better insight then what the girls would.

So I recently met this guy from POF, him being 37 and I'm 25. We have pretty much everything in common and there is a lot of chemistry between us, the only problem is he lives in another state from me but has made it clear his willing to move here for me if he has too and is even offering to pay for my plane ticket to go and see him. His divorced and has a kid and seems to be doing well for himself and is quite settled in life which attracts me even more to him.

We have been skyping all week and chatting everyday, only known him for a week but he has already pulled the l bomb on me telling me his inlove with me and wants me bad. Is that genuine or a red flag? Because of my commitments I can't just get up and leave to go and see him, it's hard when you work to get time off but also my mum thinks his too old for me and isn't keen on me going to see him.

I really don't know what to do. I do like him alot and his definetly my type in everything I want in someone, but because I've been burnt bad in the past with people from dating sites I'm also very cautious, I don't want to make another bad mistake which will cost me.

What are your thoughts?

 

[expos]

the only problem is he lives in another state

Date someone locally. You are 25 year old girl, it's not like you don't have options. Are you in a bigger city? Why are you wasting your time with a guy that far away?

only known him for a week but he has already pulled the l bomb on me telling me his inlove with me and wants me bad. Is that genuine or a red flag?

HUGE RED FLAG.

Because of my commitments I can't just get up and leave to go and see him, it's hard when you work to get time off but also my mum thinks his too old for me and isn't keen on me going to see him.

Your mom is right. He might mail you back to your mom in a box.

I really don't know what to do. I do like him alot and his definetly my type in everything I want in someone, but because I've been burnt bad in the past with people from dating sites I'm also very cautious, I don't want to make another bad mistake which will cost me.

Stay off of dating sites. You are going to get burned again. Why do you keep going back?

While being 37, divorced, and having a kid aren't deal breakers and it's pretty much the norm for people these days to either be divorced, married, separated, or have few kids around that age, you are only 25 and you might have trouble relating to his life experiences.

Plus LDR's suck.

 

[libellaswing]

Your mom is right. He might mail you back to your mom in a box.

:crackup::crackup: :crackup:

 

[Mike32ct]

Don't do it. Stage 3 clinger alert.

 

[libellaswing]

Yeah, don't do it.

He'll start texting "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you" every half hour and you'll want to set yourself on fire.

 

[americaninbangkok]

Like Expos posted, date locally! Online dating allows for too many freaks to be someone different. For all you know he may look together but he's a mess.

Have you ever met this guy? I'm assuming no. So the online chemistry may not be the same as in person.

This coupled with his telling you he loves you is a huge warning sign. Jesus I wouldn't tell a women I loved her for months, as in at least 6-12 months.

 

[RedScorpion]

but has made it clear his willing to move here for me if he has too and is even offering to pay for my plane ticket to go and see him. ---- only known him for a week but he has already pulled the l bomb on me telling me his inlove with me and wants me bad.

He's ****ing nuts. Wayyyyy too early to be saying and offering those things. Run run run away. Place one of your friends in your situation. What would you think?

 

[djgirl]

I go online dating as i dont get out very often due to my work commitments and the fact that pubs/clubs arent my scene, so online dating is my alternative.

I do have another plate, he lives here and we've known each other for a while and again we have great chemistry and he seems really into me, bit closer to my age group, his 33 but whenever we set dates to meet he always flakes on me....

But yeh with this other guy, dont get me wrong i do like him and think his cute and seems to portray everything i want in a partner but i feel like he is moving too fast. Plus i dont think ill be able to get time off work to just drop things and see him especially after a week of knowing him. But telling me last night that he loved me came about as a shock as we still both hardly know each other and its great that his willing to pay for my tickets to go and see him, however i dont know how to tell him its too soon.....And he seems very eager for me to go and live with him and for him to come here to see me aswell. His response is because we have distance between us he'd rather see if we can seal the deal quicker so his not wasting his time.

My parents arent keen on him just yet and tell me ill be making a mistake if i continue to pursue.

 

[Purefilth]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=203575

 

[sharkbeat]

As an ex-AFC, I think I understand what's going on with that guy. Some guys who haven't taken the red pills yet see man-woman relationship like Disney's love stories -- it was meant to be, it was all butterflies and birds and bunnies and bambi.

He will be clingy. You will probably hate and despise him for it, just like how you women hate betas.

If you reject him, he will hate you for it (beta attribute).

He already declared love even though you two are miles away. That's a pretty crazy move, even for an AFC.

Which means, that he now thinks that you owe him something in return. Guys have this crazy delusion in their head that if they like the girl, the girl is obligated to like him back, even though he never actually had the balls to talk to her. Pretty dumb ****, I know. When the girl didn't declare her love to him (which happens 99.99% all the time), he would be all angry and pissed when she's dating another guy.

Tell him you are dating another guy, and watch him go all mental and emotional.

 

[Trump]

As an ex-AFC, I think I understand what's going on with that guy. Some guys who haven't taken the red pills yet see man-woman relationship like Disney's love stories -- it was meant to be, it was all butterflies and birds and bunnies and bambi.

He will be clingy. You will probably hate and despise him for it, just like how you women hate betas.

If you reject him, he will hate you for it (beta attribute).

He already declared love even though you two are miles away. That's a pretty crazy move, even for an AFC.

Which means, that he now thinks that you owe him something in return. Guys have this crazy delusion in their head that if they like the girl, the girl is obligated to like him back, even though he never actually had the balls to talk to her. Pretty dumb ****, I know. When the girl didn't declare her love to him (which happens 99.99% all the time), he would be all angry and pissed when she's dating another guy.

Tell him you are dating another guy, and watch him go all mental and emotional.

Damn that was me in the early 20s. On top of that used to think my friends should set me up with a Sharon Stone look a like because of who I am, how hard I worked, and the amount of emotional abuse received growing up. Took a while to realize it doesn't work that way and they were laughing behind my back.

Anyway I'm surprised the OP is asking such a question, she should know whats going on.

 

[VladPatton]

Absolute digitized maniacal internet chump. Abandon all hope, listen to our advice, pull the plug on this pseudo relationship. Spare your mom from worrying.

 

[bluenorther]

He needs to come here for an attitude adjustment. THEN you two can think things over.
Too bad, so many men write off PUA programs as so much bs. Your AFC could use some help this way. It's not like he'll be turned away.

 

[TenOfSpades]

I am shocked nobody has ever thought of sheer manipulation. If I was 37 and I had a 25 year old trying to get at me, I would be taking advantage ASAP. Clingy is not the only option. Manipulation is one too.

 

[Mike32ct]

He probably has strange facial expressions while he's Skype-ing. While "talking" to the OP and professing his love, he's whacking off.

 

[zinc4]

the whole thing is one giant red flag hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[Greasy Pig]

Time for brutal honesty, OP.
Just be up front and say you think things are moving too fast and that honestly you are a bit concerned that he would profess his love for you so soon.
If he's any sort of normal person, he'll understand and ease off. But he's obviously not and will probably try to manipulate you by playing the sympathy card.
"It's just that it's been so long since I've felt such a strong connection to a woman. When my daughter got sick, I swore I would just be there for her but then you can along and changed all that. My ex cheated on me with my best friend so I'm pretty fragile right now. I thought you may have been different to all the other girls on POF...."
A good friend of mine is battling with a divorcee at the moment. Told her he loved her after two weeks of dating and then started emailing her links to houses they could share. Eventually she couldn't handle it anymore and ended with him but then he turned up to her house with a truckload of new furniture for her apartment. She turned him down but insisted she keep the furniture and despite her warning him off, he continues to harass her and profess his undying love for her.
Be warned.

 

[djgirl]

So I pretty much ended it with him and told him that I think we should just remain friends and I don't want a distance relationship. He is now bombing my phone with messages saying that he was inlove with me and that I'm a let down and thanks for nothing etc and his even doing it on my FB too....

Last night he bombed my phone with calls and messages after I told him I was going to be out and that I'll message him in the morning.....ugh I hope he doesn't turn into this serial stalker... I can block him on FB but I don't think I can on my iPhone....

 

[MikeOck]

I can block him on FB but I don't think I can on my iPhone....

Your phone company can block numbers for you. Most you can log into their website and enter numbers to block yourself, otherwise just call and tell them you want to block a number. Believe me, it is a very common request.

For future reference, anyone who tells you they love you after a week is either manipulative, pathetic, crazy or all three.

 

[djgirl]

Your phone company can block numbers for you. Most you can log into their website and enter numbers to block yourself, otherwise just call and tell them you want to block a number. Believe me, it is a very common request.

For future reference, anyone who tells you they love you after a week is either manipulative, pathetic, crazy or all three.

I will have to give them a call tomorrow. He is telling me karmas a b1tch and how much of a bad person i am and that ive broken his heart....its amazing to hear all this come out of a 37 year old man.......POF and other dating sites are not the way to meet decent men thats for sure.