AspiringAlphaMale
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2019
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- 23
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- 8
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- 30
I am going to start cold approaching women soon and I am interested in reading others' experiences about their first times doing this.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Your First Cold Approach Experiences
- Thread starter AspiringAlphaMale
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I was probably 18 since any approaches before that were in school and therefore “warm”. I basically got drunk at a club and went for it. Didn’t think about it much, just asked girls “do you want to dance?” The third girl said yeah and I ended up in an exclusive relationship with her a few weeks later. Kind of wild to look back on that now.
2Rocky
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
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- 52
Looking back, My main approach has been to project warmth and extend approach invitations. More often than not the woman (or girls in the early years) would approach me. I recall in grade school I was sitting in a gymnastics gym waiting for my sisters to finish their practice when one of the girls came up to me as a representative for one of the other girls and expressed her attraction for me. Ever since then I've worked on eye contact and smiles to encourage the woman to make the first effort. I then rewarded that effort with attention and confidence.
Most of my approaches were indirect and friendly. If I sense a bitchy vibe, I can keep it business, or eject. It's her problem...not yours.
Remember women are just as nervous or more so if you can put her at ease, that you aren't going to reject her or abandon her or make her look bad, then she will relax and give you that energy she might be holding back....
You get back the energy that you project. So be a welcoming, warm, confident, and genuine person in your interactions and MEAN IT>
Most of my approaches were indirect and friendly. If I sense a bitchy vibe, I can keep it business, or eject. It's her problem...not yours.
Remember women are just as nervous or more so if you can put her at ease, that you aren't going to reject her or abandon her or make her look bad, then she will relax and give you that energy she might be holding back....
You get back the energy that you project. So be a welcoming, warm, confident, and genuine person in your interactions and MEAN IT>
DEEZEDBRAH
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2017
- Messages
- 6,068
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- 4,848
- Age
- 36
I broke every rule. Was longer then 3secs, uncalibrated, approach from behind. Scared the **** out of her. Her umbrella went blowing down the street. It was hilarious.
characternote
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2018
- Messages
- 1,256
- Reaction score
- 1,463
I didn't really start making cold approaches until I was old, after having read a pickup book (magic bullets) on one weekend. (before that it was warm approaches, social circle etc)
I got laid on my first ever attempt! In hindisight, it was just more or less the luck of
1)me being her physical type
2)her having just broken up with her bf and she was likely just looking to get laid that night. Just so happened I was the only guy with the balls to open her. Almost nobody approaches here in the UK, it seems!!
In fact, now that i've been at this for like 3 years, I STILL think that's basically always the case. i.e- You need to be her physical type. 'Game' can't make girls into you. But with approaching, you simply give yourself a chance to find a girl who thinks you're hot! It's the act of approaching that makes it kind of 'work' in the long term as opposed to some sort of magic skill in my eyes. I get laid a lot more than my friends who are about as good looking as me but who never approach. But I can't get NEAR to competing with my really handsome friends who very rarely approach, but instead get approached lol
In terms of how it went, I used an opener I read where I pretended to be the girls blind date and was like ''Sorry i'm late, Kelly! Traffic was awful. So, have you been waiting long?'' and just sat down next to her and started looking at the menu on the table. We bantered about that for a while, I tried to touch her here and there and at one point pretty much told her I thought she was pretty. I then bought us a strong drink, and soon after pulled her into a cab and took us back to my place to bone. I was like 29 and she was 18
At first I was like, 'dam, is it really that easy??''. I then proceeded to get rejected in my next 250 approaches or so until I got laid again. In fact, i'd say even now it takes me maybe 200+ approaches to find a hot girl who's into me and who I can get in bed
I got laid on my first ever attempt! In hindisight, it was just more or less the luck of
1)me being her physical type
2)her having just broken up with her bf and she was likely just looking to get laid that night. Just so happened I was the only guy with the balls to open her. Almost nobody approaches here in the UK, it seems!!
In fact, now that i've been at this for like 3 years, I STILL think that's basically always the case. i.e- You need to be her physical type. 'Game' can't make girls into you. But with approaching, you simply give yourself a chance to find a girl who thinks you're hot! It's the act of approaching that makes it kind of 'work' in the long term as opposed to some sort of magic skill in my eyes. I get laid a lot more than my friends who are about as good looking as me but who never approach. But I can't get NEAR to competing with my really handsome friends who very rarely approach, but instead get approached lol
In terms of how it went, I used an opener I read where I pretended to be the girls blind date and was like ''Sorry i'm late, Kelly! Traffic was awful. So, have you been waiting long?'' and just sat down next to her and started looking at the menu on the table. We bantered about that for a while, I tried to touch her here and there and at one point pretty much told her I thought she was pretty. I then bought us a strong drink, and soon after pulled her into a cab and took us back to my place to bone. I was like 29 and she was 18
At first I was like, 'dam, is it really that easy??''. I then proceeded to get rejected in my next 250 approaches or so until I got laid again. In fact, i'd say even now it takes me maybe 200+ approaches to find a hot girl who's into me and who I can get in bed
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.