"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Your body language shapes who you are

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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VladPatton

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Phenomenal post, man. I totally agree with what she said 10000%. Thanks for posting.
 

SeymourCake

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I love Ted Talk shows! I'm gonna check this out. Thanks!
 

Deep Dish

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The correlation between high testosterone and low cortisol, its corresponding effects of alpha body language with your mood, dovetails with scientific studies reviewed on Roissy’s blog. Guys on here can complain all they want how the alpha/beta dichotomous spectrum is a silly word with ambiguous definition, there is no denying the dynamics. Body language is one of the hardest habits to change because relapse is all too easy, but the results are great.

The girl was cute, too.
 

SeymourCake

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Studies show that constant masturbation rises cortisol so we can assume that it lowers testosterone as well.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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d!ckmojo

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SeymourCake said:
Studies show that constant masturbation rises cortisol so we can assume that it lowers testosterone as well.
"Edging" actually raises testosterone. Significantly. Its ejaculation which leads to lower testosterone.
 

foolyoufool

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Wow... That was really powerful when she shared her personal story.

I'm definitely going to try forcing myself into more confident postures even when I'm not feeling it...Only doing it for two minutes with such significant findings is compelling.
 
U

user43770

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foolyoufool said:
Wow... That was really powerful when she shared her personal story.

I'm usually unemotional, but that part got to me.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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bcolon

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I agree body language has to do with a lot when it comes to being popular. If your upbeat, excited, energetic constantly. This causes a following. People love to be around others that are happy. It makes them feel comfortable and so they can lower there shield and get to know others easier. I suffer and am suffering through that negative body language. Especially those screenshots when she showed the body language of how the lower confident people sat in the chairs lol
 

st_99

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learning about body language is cool mainly because it has you focusing on others as you take interst in what you're learning, maybe guessing how they are feeling or whatever.

imo, the best thing about this is it gets you out of your own head, your anxiety, sadness, shyness, sadness or whatever.. and puts the focus on the other person, where it should be. It really does help you get better in tune with others and makes you feel empowered.
 

Mike32ct

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Great post. I was always skeptical about "fake it 'till you make it" or "keep doing it until it becomes congruent" advice from PUAs.

Now that someone with credibility and solid credentials says it, I feel much better about it. I don't doubt it anymore.

I was always troubled by the "feeling like a fraud" thing she mentioned if I tried something that " wasn't me." From this video, I learned that its ok to go through that phase.
 
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