Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Your body chemicals and Fear

whoami

Don Juan
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I wrote this piece of article 2 yrs back related to Self Defense but you know it's sooooo applies to dating too...

I just posted it in my blog and thought this would be good idea to share it with you guys.

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wat happends in our bodies when we r under threat?
it's very much chemistry.this chart will gave u pretty good idea wat happens rite there in ur bodies..

When subjected to a threat, such as real conflict, your body will release chemicals and these will affect your body and mind in certain specific ways.

Bruce Siddle has studied this phenomenon, and found that heart rate, measured in beats per minute, is a good barometer of the other effects.Here are the rules of chemical fear:

If you get scared enough that your heart rate goes over about 115 BPM, you will start to lose your fine motor skills. That means your precision grabs and locks are gone.

About 155 BPM, complex motor skills deteriorate- you lose your patterns, combinations, traps and sweeps.

About 175BPM, planning and thinking are severely compromised. You lose your near vision, peripheral vision and depth perception.
Your hearing will deaden or be lost.

Above 175, if there is anything in your bladder, you will lose it. Most will freeze or curl up in a ball and wait for mommy to save them.

Only the grossest of physical activity is possible- running and flailing. In short, the more desperately you need your skills, the less you will be able to rely on them.

When it is for real, you will do much, much worse than in practice. The belief that people improve under stress is a myth. (THE IMPROVEMENT THINGS HAPPENS ONLY IN NON-LIFE THREATS SITUATIONS)

How the hell this related to Dating for Shy Guy?

You see it doesn't matter if the danger is physical or psychological, Your body will always react in the same possible manner...
Now if you are shy guy... this is wat happens to you.

when you see women, your heart rate goes up to 115 bpm, and you start loosing control over
your tongue.

when you start talking to women(she starts talking to you, let's say she got sweeped by your looks ;) ), your heart rate instantly jumps up to 155 bpm and you just stand there... looking... :eek:

Now if the Woman is Seriously HOT, your body skips the second step and ur heart beat goes upto 175bpm... now only toilet can rescue you....

So if you sit at home practice talking to women alone, you'll go through every step... because you are not used to(not proper training).

So How you can improve this situation?
Daily practice. No no.. Daily practice in Tense Situation.

So you need to practice daily, talk to lots of women, talks to lots of Hot Women. Because in real you'd perform worse than your practice. So we make our practice Real.

understand your body and you'll go long way...


WhoAmI
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MackJr

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I think practicing alone can help, though. I practiced my posture and body language with a mirror, and I wrote short stories to imagine myself handling approaches of varying levels of difficulty. (easy women up to more resistant ones).

When I felt confident to go out on the field, the first woman I tried my game on did throw a few curve balls, but I handled them well and was able to employ social proof and a quick wit. I don't think I would have been able to do as well if I I hadn't practiced beforehand.

I'm not saying real approaches shouldn't be used, but I'm saying that one shouldn't discount "woodshedding". It really works.
 

MackJr

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When it is for real, you will do much, much worse than in practice. The belief that people improve under stress is a myth. (THE IMPROVEMENT THINGS HAPPENS ONLY IN NON-LIFE THREATS SITUATIONS)
I was thinking about your post, and I think you made a very relevant point with the quote above. I'm a lateral thinker, so I I tried doing some things I have trouble getting myself to do, and I realized that the actual emotion was anxiety. So procrastination is evidently anxiety that's so strong it shuts you down. I

What I did was tried to get calm enough that I thought I could do it, and I was able to get the stuff done. But the feeling of anxiety persisted for about 20 minutes.

it's useful with all self-improvement, but I think this info could be useful to aspiring DJs who want to get past some of the fear barriers.
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by whoami
The belief that people improve under stress is a myth.
Is it really though? If you're in a situation under stress enough to improve, wouldn't you gradually become less stressed out, allowing yourself to improve more and more? In other words, desensitizing yourself to stressful situations (by encountering them) is key in allowing yourself to function properly within them.
 

penkitten

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i once read somewhere that when women are raped, most of their bodies set out chemicals due to the fear that prevent them from getting pregnant.
so most chicks that say they were rapped and got pregnant are actually lying to cover up whatever or whoever they were really doing.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

whoami

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Mack JR ... good point...
Ok I was using Self defense(and Martial arts) metaphor as this is one of my expertise.
this is one of the biggest reason that Martial artists get their asees handed over to them..
visualization, hypnosis, nlp, all have their place, even I do it...
but the thing I was talking about is fear..
the comment you made on ur second post is exactly the point I was making..

you this works for everyone... it's not like the advance guy doesn't have pre approach jitters... but it's like he don't care now.
whereas newbie and semi experts guy... might care about it.

WhoAmI
 

whoami

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nocturnal that wat I said... practice in tense situation..
u can't just quote one line... :D
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When it is for real, you will do much, much worse than in practice. The belief that people improve under stress is a myth.(THE IMPROVEMENT THINGS HAPPENS ONLY IN NON-LIFE THREATS SITUATIONS)
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this is not a life threatening situation(well for 99.% people :D, may be some guy think this is )
that's why I say you can improve on it...

as far as life threatening situations are concerned, we follow different routine to that... I think that's not neccessary for me to cover up here..

WhoAmI
 
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