Younger Sister and some guy. Please help.

[Doctor Europeo]

I have a younger sister. She is 24 years old.

She met this guy last year on OLD. They became exclusive around mid October. He was her first boyfriend.

They never had any problems or any fights. After almost seven months of being exclusive he broke up with her out of the blue with some lame excuse. This came as a suriprise because we all thought he was more into her than she was into him.


After a few weeks he started calling her on the phone. My best guess is he met another girl he liked more and things didnt workout and he wants my sister back but whatever. Im against getting back to an ex but my sister is not one to take advice from anyone so talking to her is useless.


He wanted to see her in person but my sister resisted for a few weeks. Today she gave in and they are meeting in person. He will try to convince her to get back together and I hope Im wrong but my guess is my sister will eventually give in and become exclusive again.


If/When they get back together, what can/should I do? Be supportive of her desicion even tough I couldnt disagree more and be nice to the guy? Kind of ignore him and find a balance between not being rude to him but also not super polite to him? Maybe just straight give him a piece of my mind and he´s dead to me and tell him I will never accept him and he will never be welcome in my house?

 

[DoubleBarrel]

I would accept my sister's choices, even if I disagreed with them, and support her course of action and be welcoming and friendly to any important person she choose to have in her life.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I would accept my sister's choices, even if I disagreed with them, and support her course of action and be welcoming and friendly to any important person she choose to have in her life.

Someone told me the same thing but I wanted to double check with you guys. Thanks bro

 

[EyeBRollin]

It’s a bad idea but nothing you can say will stop her. Best to just remind her that you love her, she is an amazing young woman and sister, and reinforce that a man that feels the same won’t leave. Bury this clown but be very subtle with it like this example.

“<Sister> you’re an amazing woman. He seems like a cool guy I just can’t figure out why it’s taking him leaving to figure out how great you are.”

 

[Modern Man Advice]

The only way to help someone is for them to want the help themselves. True change happens when that person wants it. In this case, she doesn't seem to want things to fizzle out. The only thing you will accomplish by opposing her decision is to distance her from you and that is not something you want.

Support her and she will eventually find the answer herself. It might come with some heartbreak (again) and pain but hey we all learn that way.

I've always believed that couples that break up and get back together tend to break up again at some point. There is a reason they broke up, and the trust is already damaged.

Modern Man Advice

 

[bat soup]

I have a younger sister. She is 24 years old.

She met this guy last year on OLD. They became exclusive around mid October. He was her first boyfriend.

They never had any problems or any fights. After almost seven months of being exclusive he broke up with her out of the blue with some lame excuse. This came as a suriprise because we all thought he was more into her than she was into him.


After a few weeks he started calling her on the phone. My best guess is he met another girl he liked more and things didnt workout and he wants my sister back but whatever. Im against getting back to an ex but my sister is not one to take advice from anyone so talking to her is useless.


He wanted to see her in person but my sister resisted for a few weeks. Today she gave in and they are meeting in person. He will try to convince her to get back together and I hope Im wrong but my guess is my sister will eventually give in and become exclusive again.


If/When they get back together, what can/should I do? Be supportive of her desicion even tough I couldnt disagree more and be nice to the guy? Kind of ignore him and find a balance between not being rude to him but also not super polite to him? Maybe just straight give him a piece of my mind and he´s dead to me and tell him I will never accept him and he will never be welcome in my house?

Why are you so involved in your sister's dating life?

 

[bat soup]

Maybe you could drill a hole in the wall to keep an eye on them.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's her life, she is the only one who gets to make those decisions. All you can do is let her know your point of view and that you disagree with it but you still need to support her despite this.

For the dude, I would probably pull him aside the next time you are together and have a talk with him to see what is going on.

 

[Murk]

What has he done wrong? Break up with your sister? Is that a crime now?

You want to give him a piece of your mind… about what exactly?

Listen bro your sister is 24 this guy might make an honest women out of her. She’s on tinder bumble hinge plenty of fish and seeking, and only had 1 boyfriend for 7 months, snm. Would you prefer she jump back on OLD and start riding countless D into her late 20s early 30s? If her abuses her verbally or otherwise, then you step in. Anything else is just weird.

 

[Tilex]

There could be thousands of assumptions since you really don't know what happened on his end.

Maybe he was fired from his job and couldn't bear the news to your sister because she would think less of him.
Then he got a new job and came back into the picture.
This is an example of how a guy didn't want to ruin his reputation.

 

[Alvafe]

by rule is not your problem, but also you are not forced to like the guy, make it simple you don't trust him and don't want to deal with him, its her choice, so she deal with it, and don't come crying again when it goes to hell again

 

[RangerMIke]

This is easy. As a man that grew up with two sisters.... Your sister is an adult.... this is none of your business.

But like @Alvafe said, if you don't like him then you don't have to spend time with him.

Don't confront her: don't support her. Don't say or do anything about her relationships. Your attempt to offer advice will likely fall on deaf ears. One thing I have learned in my 5 decades of existence is that you can not change the mind of someone that has made an emotional decision, they have to go through a significant emotional event (pain of a relationship going sideways). Any effort to control someone that has made an emotional decision will result in anger and resentment. All you can do is be there when/if she falls on her face.

 

[Blacksheep]

I have a younger sister. She is 24 years old.

She met this guy last year on OLD. They became exclusive around mid October. He was her first boyfriend.

They never had any problems or any fights. After almost seven months of being exclusive he broke up with her out of the blue with some lame excuse. This came as a suriprise because we all thought he was more into her than she was into him.


After a few weeks he started calling her on the phone. My best guess is he met another girl he liked more and things didnt workout and he wants my sister back but whatever. Im against getting back to an ex but my sister is not one to take advice from anyone so talking to her is useless.


He wanted to see her in person but my sister resisted for a few weeks. Today she gave in and they are meeting in person. He will try to convince her to get back together and I hope Im wrong but my guess is my sister will eventually give in and become exclusive again.


If/When they get back together, what can/should I do? Be supportive of her desicion even tough I couldnt disagree more and be nice to the guy? Kind of ignore him and find a balance between not being rude to him but also not super polite to him? Maybe just straight give him a piece of my mind and he´s dead to me and tell him I will never accept him and he will never be welcome in my house?

I think that accepting her choice and being supportive is a good path. Since it doesnt seem something that is putting her life at risk, maybe its better not interfere.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

What has he done wrong? Break up with your sister? Is that a crime now?

You want to give him a piece of your mind… about what exactly?

My dad, may he rest in peace, use to say "El es puro cabron" (He´s a little b1tch) when referring to some people. I never gave it much thought back when he was alive but I think Im starting to get it know.

This guy is a little b1tch. My issue with him is not that he broke up with my sister, of course that´s not a crime. My issue is that he is more "voluble" (volatile? I dont remember the word in english atm) than a a f0cking girl. First he wanted to be his boyfriend, then he wanted to break up out of the blue, now he wants to get back together. My math says this will not end well (I hope Im wrong, of course).

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Why are you so involved in your sister's dating life?

She is my only sibling. I worry about her. I would think its normal to want whats best for her.

 

[Veréngárda]

Your family isn't your responsibility. What happens to her she brought on herself.

 

[Barrister]

I also have a younger sister so I can relate. And I haven't been a big fan of a few past boyfriends.

However, like others have said she is an adult and gets to make her own decision. I would also keep your opinions to yourself unless she specifically asks you for it. If you push her to dump him, it will probably cause her to dig her heels in and try to keep him around because he will look like the victim of her family being "unfair" to him. So tread carefully with this.

Be supportive of her. But if she does ask your opinion, I would be honest with her as to why you don't care for him - but tell her you will support her no matter what SHE decides. This is probably your best bet to make her wise up and move on.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Your family isn't your responsibility. What happens to her she brought on herself.

Yes they are. What the hell man.

Fathers and brothers are supposed to vet the daughter’s man. This is tradition…

 

[dude99]

I also have a younger sister and have been in your shoes many times. I found if you voice your opinion that you disapprove it will drive her faster into his arms. If you keep quiet the ship will eventually right itself. She will eventually see him for what he is. The only time i ever ever ever got "involved" is when my sister dated a guy who put hands on her. After that she could say nothing-- i acted. He got a immediate trip to the emergency room in the back of an ambulance and he never bothered her again.

Remember chicks are idiots that love to pick the wrong guy. Sisters included. You get to see a lot first had how dumb decisions are made in the dating world when you have siblings. You just have to stand back let them make their own mistakes.
All you can do is be there for her should he hurt her again.

 

[bat soup]

She is my only sibling. I worry about her. I would think its normal to want whats best for her.

A 24 year old is an adult. Who she decides to date is none of your business.