"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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You think the James Bond character from the books would be a better role model than the movie version?

Veréngárda

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You ask me, I don't think role-models should be too fantastical. Instead they should be relatable.

I've picked up the habit recently of, whenever I see a "strong woman" character in anything do something outrageous, putting on a very snide impression of a child-voice and being all like:

"MoMmY, wHeN i gROw uP, I WaNnA bE jUsT lIkE hER!!"

However, that's just the female side of it. James Bond as portrayed in a number of his movies is very much the male side of this.. and it's what turned me off to the character.

It's a male glory-fantasy, with all the cliches attached, for the sake of having one. Whoopty-****ing-doo.

But then I learned about the book version of the character Ian Flemming originally wrote.

His far more reserved disposition, his more logical approach to trying to bang women during an assignment, his more realistic interactions with others (having to use intimidation and his sinister "vibe" much of the time instead of some bs magic "charm"), how he internally handles the less-glamorous aspects of his life and his "seen-it-all" attitude towards everything after all this time.

That is a character I that I can build myself up with.

What am I supposed to learn from the movie Bond? That I should be born perfect? That I should delude myself into believing that everything I do will be effortless successes because I'm the "manly hero?"

Book Bond isn't that. He's a gritty man operating in a gritty world, dealing in gritty stuff and being really good at it.

The how-tos of that, I think, are far more useful things to be teaching.. well I almost said young men but really anyone.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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