"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

"you talk too much about other girls"

slaog

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 16, 2008
Messages
1,722
Reaction score
51
Location
an island
Thats what a girl told me tonight... it was an online conversation. She went on to say "it looks like I'm going to have another male friend, why you - men are always making this mistake".

She is into me and have admitted she was testing me the other day which I passed ;) (thanks sosuave!)..

So whats the best thing to do in these circumstances? Talk about other women to show them you've other options or say nothing?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
Why are you talking about other girls? Why aren't you talking about her? I only talk about other girls to girls I want to keep in the friendzone (fat chicks or coworkers). She told you what the deal was. You killed her interest. If you are a great guy...they assume other girls are after you. If you are telling her about it, its like rubbing it in her face that you don't want her like you want other girls. Subtlety is the name of the game. Let your actions speak more than your words.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Warrior74 said:
Why are you talking about other girls? Why aren't you talking about her? I only talk about other girls to girls I want to keep in the friendzone (fat chicks or coworkers). She told you what the deal was. You killed her interest. If you are a great guy...they assume other girls are after you. If you are telling her about it, its like rubbing it in her face that you don't want her like you want other girls. Subtlety is the name of the game. Let your actions speak more than your words.
I'm guessing it's just another occasion of a guy pushing the "I'm the prize" concept way too far. "Oh look at all of the women I'm talking to who are interested in me..." Way too much detail. Just being busy and not always being readily available is enough to subtly convey that you have "other things" going on in your life.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
Francisco d'Anconia said:
I'm guessing it's just another occasion of a guy pushing the "I'm the prize" concept way too far. "Oh look at all of the women I'm talking to who are interested in me..." Way too much detail. Just being busy and not always being readily available is enough to subtly convey that you have "other things" going on in your life.
I learned this lesson from a female. She was my starter girl when I became single. She was chunky but sexy and when we broke up we were still involved in several business ventures together. She would VERY often try and tell me about all the other guys that are interested in her...as if to make me jealous. But I didn't want her so it didn't bother me. In return I would tell her about all the guys checking her out and how she should hook up with them. Eventually she got the point and we settled into just being friends.

She always accused me of being a player, or she would call me a male slut because I never gave her all of my time when we were dating. Usually I was at the gym or resting or working on my other projects, but I never shared that info with her. I just would tell her I've been busy or working. She would always ask about my weekends. I'd give her a one or two line response. 'It was good.' or 'Hung out with my friends'. She knew about my past being a Club dj and promoter, she would see pictures of me on myspace with other girls. I just never got in the habit of explaining myself to her.

After two months she told me she loved me and how it was crazy being with me. At 3 months she demanded that I be her boyfriend. When I refused she had some other guy over the next night and made sure to tell me about it. I just withdrew my attention and sarged other girls. She's still dating that guy..but she's tried to have sex with me on several occasions. She always tells me that he's not half the man I am.

She gives me all sorts of details about their life. I give her hardly any about mine, I talk more about my life on this site than I do to people I know. She always ask am I still out there whooring it up. lol. Of course I don't anwser the way she wants. I usually just smile.


When you give them only a little it goes so much farther than when you give them alot.
 

Effington

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 26, 2007
Messages
627
Reaction score
4
Great post, warrior. Just shows how people work. When you leave things up to their imagination, it will go wild. Kind of like how the sexiest girls aren't the ones that wear the least clothing.
 

ready123

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2007
Messages
1,259
Reaction score
35
Location
Los Angeles
Warrior74 said:
She would VERY often try and tell me about all the other guys that are interested in her...as if to make me jealous
seen this too and it ends up being a turnoff. and the reason why it doesn't work for guys or girls is because all that prize talk is just another way of qualifying yourself

AKA trying to impress the other person
 

WC2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 29, 2006
Messages
1,700
Reaction score
69
Location
New York City
Being seen with other women and actually doing things with other women do a lot more than words can ever do. Dropping a line about another woman while talking to one is OKAY once in awhile. Once you start taking it overboard, you're obviously trying to makeup for women that aren't really there.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Top