Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

you need to play girls to keep them

Epic Days

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You are also right as is OP.

I won't dispute both assertions.

But I'll add in something that many will find distasteful.

For a man to be truly happy, he must have one loyal loving wife or partner, truly loves her BUT he should also have a younger partner as his 1st love grows older.

There's plenty of reasons to benefit everyone but I'll let you people figure this one out.
That would work actually. For some reason women thrive under female competition. Interesting.
I think that they may even expect it on some level. There's some biology in that. It would make the man more valuable. The man's needs would be met.
 
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BeExcellent

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Agreed in part @stormrider however the issue is that few people elevate themselves to this degree. In addition what you are saying would suggest that we are our own determiner or our own fate and that we function entirely independent of others. This is not a fully evolved view in my opinion.

Interdependence is above individuality. I agree that people must first individually differentiate to a place of independence before they become capable of interdependence, but interdependence has a greater depth of experience than individuality alone. Great relationships are a result of interdependence. Individuality cannot provide the same depth in and of itself. It is inherently limited. This is true of friendships, family relationships, and intimate relationships.

When one reaches the limits of what individuality can offer there can indeed be a sense of lack. Something is missing. This isn't "neediness" so much as its a seeking. Humans want and yearn to be part of something greater than just themselves. Relationships can fulfill this desire, causes can fulfill this desire, religion can fulfill this desire, but it is a real desire in a mature individual. Now for people who can't get differentiated to the place of a whole individual? Obviously that is the first step...the precursor. People who can't wrap their mind around individuality do not have the perspective to grasp interdependence in a meaningful way. They cannot see its value.

The process of self actualization also has to do with what one values as an individual. An individuals value system and belief system. Humans are social creatures. As social creatures we are not islands unto ourselves operating within a vacuum where are of our hierarchy or needs are solely met from within. This is a falsehood.

Might one person want to bang different people and call it good for the rest of their life? Sure. Are they entitled to do this and might they feel satisfied in so doing? I would suggest that is true for a time. Until that individual realizes they are not maximizing their experience. Now. If they never arrive at the maturity level to reach that realization? Fine and dandy. There are plenty of people in the world who never arrive at that maturation, and there are plenty who never reach a place of individualization either for that matter. In my experience the realization occurs later in life and sometimes only when a man's ability to pull endless tail begins to falter.

And trust me, time comes for us all and the ability to pull tail WILL falter. Then what do you have of value?
 

Spaz

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Fair enough. I would simply offer to you that your statement above is a matter of opinion, not a fact. Some men may be more culturally attuned to having the wife and the mistress, and in many cultures even the women in the wife role realize this is likely and perhaps even expected (and that they will have to look the other way about it if they don't agree with the behavior.)

Other men are more attuned to depth with a singular partner. There are liabilities in many cases in retaining a younger woman say for the purpose of sex as a primary aim. The 1st lover (as you put it) might still be very interested in sex and have a robust libido for example, and the arrangement with having additional lovers may undermine the trust and the depth of the relationship with the primary relationship. In any event if there is secrecy or withholding of information from the primary relationship, this may have detrimental effects on the relationship and in turn on the man.

Women worth establishing a solid primary relationship with are rare relatively speaking. Therefore a wise man will take seriously the needs of his partner and respect her value in his life. This will look different for every relationship. A well known example in the US is President LBJ. He was famously a womanizer. His devoted wife, Lady Bird, was beloved by him (in the primary role of wife) and was beloved by the public as well. But a man who is President is a rare man indeed. Lady Bird knew her role as his most private confidant and adviser as well as her role as a mother and friend. I cannot speak about their relationship as lovers. In the later years I doubt such a relationship still existed, but he clearly got plenty of sexual contact elsewhere.

I know of older couples who still enjoy a deeply erotic connection. The deception that so often accompanies the ancillary relationships can do serious damage to the primary relationship and this must be a consideration.

I for one have a robust libido and have kept myself in top physical condition over the years. I find that men consider me valuable because they find a woman who remains erotic and sensual and open for sexual connection wrapped up in a woman with life experience, emotional stability, maturity and compatibility. That is hard to find. Most women with a profile like mine are long term married in deeply rewarding marriages. I know because I know any number of couples like this. The men in those couples are not out shopping for younger side pieces. They know they have the whole enchilada already at home, they know how rare it is to have that situation, and they are pleased. There are posters here at SS who also fit that profile. Some rarely post anymore, but they used their seduction skill set to secure a great relationship that meets ALL their needs from the same woman.

This idea that you need more than one woman to meet your needs is a falsehood IF you have the patience and the ability to attract a top tier woman into your life. Many men do not have that ability, I shall concede that, and those men are the ones who seek this from Jane and that from Mary and so forth. It is a product of their own lack of personal development in my opinion.
I'm different then most men BE.

I've got a big heart that's full of love to spread around.

Just like Santa Clause.

All those poor lonely women won't be so lonely when I'm around....

Governments should give me a medal for my humanitarian work.
 

EyeBRollin

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You are also right as is OP.

I won't dispute both assertions.

But I'll add in something that many will find distasteful.

For a man to be truly happy, he must have one loyal loving wife or partner, truly loves her BUT he should also have a younger partner as his 1st love grows older.

There's plenty of reasons to benefit everyone but I'll let you people figure this one out.
I co-sign this. It’s simply not natural for a man to be with one woman
 

Bokanovsky

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Interdependence is above individuality. I agree that people must first individually differentiate to a place of independence before they become capable of interdependence, but interdependence has a greater depth of experience than individuality alone. Great relationships are a result of interdependence. Individuality cannot provide the same depth in and of itself. It is inherently limited. This is true of friendships, family relationships, and intimate relationships.
Interdependence is a matter of convenience or necessity. Think about traditional family roles: man needs woman to bear children, cook, clean, look after the house, etc. Woman needs man to work and provide for the family, as well as for protection. Both need each other to have sex.

I can tell you that, at least from a man's persecutive, there is no deeper meaning or depth to this "interdependence". I've never heard of a man saying, damn, I wish I was more interdependent with my girlfriend/wife. The kind of interdependence that you're thinking of really only exists in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. It does not last, nor is it mean to last. Sure, you can continue to have a good time with each other if you are win a healthy relationship. But you can also have an equally good time with someone you are not in a relationship with.
 

ubercat

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Serial monogamy is pretty popular so there must be something to it. Man s point of view the rest probably comes down to a stability vs excitement trade-off. Plenty of happily married men play an Away a game while they're travelling on business. Probably doesn't mean they love their wives any less. Men can cheerfully have sex without much emotional connection.
 

Romanemp22

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So, after being in the game for along time and having some success banging random girls and dealing with
every piece of bullchit you can think of.

ive come to the conclusion that women are nothing more then sex objects with no mind and need to be
herded into your harem like cattle using all sorts of mental psychopathic mind games to do so.

you know those gangster rappers back in the day that rapped about "btchs aint chit"??
those words ended up being a prophecy.

women in modern day are monogamous cry baby creatures that need to be put in check.
we use game to do this.

what black guys knew in the ghetto back before the internet was that if you wanted to be a guy that
got his fair share of play from women you had to make them think that you were a loyal boyfriend.
because most girls are still conditioned with old fashioned values. and the only way into their precious
vagina was making them think you were going to be their boyfriend or marry them.

wait till he commits, dont give up your pvssy to soon or he'll dump you...
if you fvck on the first date your nothing but a slvt everyone hates, dont sleep around etc etc etc

so many girls ive dealt with are such sexually shamed little fvck tards. they are literally scared of what everyone
thinks of them, and they think their pvssy is some golden objects blessed by the gods only the most righteous beta male
deserves.

girls think that they are so damn precious that men should fight and conquer kingdoms to get some damn play.
women are conditioned to be with beta male provider male faggots, and their whole psyche and mentality is geared towards that.

ive noticed the more ive abused women and the more i go against their moralistic values they get hornier and hornier.
its almost like their mind and body are completely torn in two. their head wants a beta, their vagina wants an alpha..

so they will cry kick and scream of you being an alpha fvckboy in there head, but their body(vgina) will open itself up and get
wet. it took me a decade to really figure this out.

every time i cheated on a girl and made her cry and heartbroken, it for some reason made her more attracted to me.
mategaurding, jealousy, territorialism, i couldnt understand why a girl hating me so much got more sexually attracted to me.
seemed so damn counter intuitive.

the point of this thread? just remember how stupid and toxially conditioned women are and by all costs never let one
dictate reality to you, go about your business and bang how many girls you want and never let one shame you into being
a beta fggt, because we all know, guys that commit themselves to their girlfriends will lose them. 100% guarantied.

if you are a monogamous dude you better check yourself and stop being a fggt women walk all over, every time i see
a guy in a "exclusive" relationship with some girl i get sick to my stomach, because i know that women is being fake as
drugs. i can fvck that girl really easily and we will both laugh at her much of a beta fag her boyfriend is.
its happens all the time.

just beware

<3
I sign this. The more of an azzhole you are the more she will be after you because women are not used to that treatment from guys. They are used to get what they want and to play WKs around their finger when they want and ofcourse, they can't respect guys like that.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I sign this. The more of an azzhole you are the more she will be after you because women are not used to that treatment from guys. They are used to get what they want and to play WKs around their finger when they want and ofcourse, they can't respect guys like that.
It it an literall "azzhole" who is always negative and fighting and dragging folks down for no reason at all, or is it a guy about his business who usually puts himself first and doesn't kiss azz?
 

Romanemp22

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It it an literall "azzhole" who is always negative and fighting and dragging folks down for no reason at all, or is it a guy about his business who usually puts himself first and doesn't kiss azz?
Ofcourse the second one. I'd say it's biology, the more you treat them badly the more she will appreciate you. However that reference only requires for low quality women imo.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Ofcourse the second one. I'd say it's biology, the more you treat them badly the more she will appreciate you. However that reference only requires for low quality women imo.
True on the "low quality". They really respond to that crap. I don't think you have to treat them "that badly", maybe your so into yourself, your business and affairs that you just are a bit selfish with yourself and your time. So she's forced into that trap of wanting "what she can't have", but she gets you temporarily during sex and if you hang out. I'm just not going to say men have to out and out "abuse" women, but I agree with you, that there is a "type" that they respond to that negativtity... Those types will usually fvck up a mans life too tho.
 

Romanemp22

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True on the "low quality". They really respond to that crap. I don't think you have to treat them "that badly", maybe your so into yourself, your business and affairs that you just are a bit selfish with yourself and your time. So she's forced into that trap of wanting "what she can't have", but she gets you temporarily during sex and if you hang out. I'm just not going to say men have to out and out "abuse" women, but I agree with you, that there is a "type" that they respond to that negativtity... Those types will usually fvck up a mans life too tho.
Definitely, that's why one should not stick around for a very long time. Shag her while you can and that's about it.
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

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So, after being in the game for along time and having some success banging random girls and dealing with
every piece of bullchit you can think of.

ive come to the conclusion that women are nothing more then sex objects with no mind and need to be
herded into your harem like cattle using all sorts of mental psychopathic mind games to do so.

you know those gangster rappers back in the day that rapped about "btchs aint chit"??
those words ended up being a prophecy.

women in modern day are monogamous cry baby creatures that need to be put in check.
we use game to do this.

what black guys knew in the ghetto back before the internet was that if you wanted to be a guy that
got his fair share of play from women you had to make them think that you were a loyal boyfriend.
because most girls are still conditioned with old fashioned values. and the only way into their precious
vagina was making them think you were going to be their boyfriend or marry them.

wait till he commits, dont give up your pvssy to soon or he'll dump you...
if you fvck on the first date your nothing but a slvt everyone hates, dont sleep around etc etc etc

so many girls ive dealt with are such sexually shamed little fvck tards. they are literally scared of what everyone
thinks of them, and they think their pvssy is some golden objects blessed by the gods only the most righteous beta male
deserves.

girls think that they are so damn precious that men should fight and conquer kingdoms to get some damn play.
women are conditioned to be with beta male provider male faggots, and their whole psyche and mentality is geared towards that.

ive noticed the more ive abused women and the more i go against their moralistic values they get hornier and hornier.
its almost like their mind and body are completely torn in two. their head wants a beta, their vagina wants an alpha..

so they will cry kick and scream of you being an alpha fvckboy in there head, but their body(vgina) will open itself up and get
wet. it took me a decade to really figure this out.

every time i cheated on a girl and made her cry and heartbroken, it for some reason made her more attracted to me.
mategaurding, jealousy, territorialism, i couldnt understand why a girl hating me so much got more sexually attracted to me.
seemed so damn counter intuitive.

the point of this thread? just remember how stupid and toxially conditioned women are and by all costs never let one
dictate reality to you, go about your business and bang how many girls you want and never let one shame you into being
a beta fggt, because we all know, guys that commit themselves to their girlfriends will lose them. 100% guarantied.

if you are a monogamous dude you better check yourself and stop being a fggt women walk all over, every time i see
a guy in a "exclusive" relationship with some girl i get sick to my stomach, because i know that women is being fake as
drugs. i can fvck that girl really easily and we will both laugh at her much of a beta fag her boyfriend is.
its happens all the time.

just beware

<3
back then when blacks were oppressed by slavery , society was against the male and female (especially if the female was considered ugly) so it caused the black family to stick together , with society putting her down constantly she needed the black man to put her on a pedestal, at one point the black woman became white washed with the straight blonde hair , and the sexy black women were ''in the house'' now slavery is gone , blacks have more pride in themselves and are falling back into 'natural hair' and dreadlocks again, so weak simps are despised now, because its no longer needed
notice also white women were ****in with black dudes WAYYY more often back then. BECAUSE white men made such a big deal about it, now with no slavery and no TABOO FACTOR i havent seen a black man with a white lady since.
rappers talk **** and say'' bitches aint **** ''because they know before they were famous they couldnt get a b1tch now they got a new hit song and became famous now they ****in everybodys b1tch.
''alpha'' blacks from the hood know, they **** dudes girls all the time if they are talller , very good looking for their phenotype , money , status. they learned ;''damn these bitches aint ****;; she just sucked my **** now she in the bathroom, brushing her teeth tellin her husband she on her way home from work'' so they just gon keep on creeepin, after you seee some **** like that how can you be faithful???
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

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I don’t set boundaries because to me it comes across as insecure. I’m an action guy, not a words guy. You can tell me how much you like me all day long but if your actions don’t back that up then it’s meaningless to me. If I feel like I’m being strung along by a woman, even if we’ve had “the talk” and she tells me she could see herself dating me but she’s just not ready for a relationship right now. All I hear is “go date other women that want a relationship, do it now! Don’t wait on this broad”. And that’s what I go do, I don’t tell her, I just go do it and I silently leave her in the past with her mixed emotions and confusion she tried to explain to me and use to keep me around to play with. Nothing says “I’m tired of waiting on you” like popping up with a new girl and she sees it. It’ll convey the message better than you could with any long drawn out talk with her.
talkin just doesnt cut it ,
women speak the language of 'action'
 

Georgepithyou

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if you are a monogamous dude you better check yourself and stop being a fggt women walk all over, every time i see
a guy in a "exclusive" relationship with some girl i get sick to my stomach, because i know that women is being fake as
drugs. i can fvck that girl really easily and we will both laugh at her much of a beta fag her boyfriend is.
its happens all the time.
Couldn't agree with this more, i grew up in a very traditional household and used to think a monogamous relationship was all i needed. While that may have been true in the 1950s it isn't in today's society. Women and beta male simps have failed us and all of society.
 

rjc149

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There's a lot of bitterness in this thread -- mostly rooted in the disillusionment when the prior conventional attitude and belief systems pertaining to "happily ever after" confront reality. This has been coined "taking the red pill."

The way I see it: relationships, as with everything in this world, including life, and the world itself, are temporary. They have a beginning, they run their course, and then end.

There is no happily ever after or life-long love. There is, however, emotional bonding that will keep two people together, from the first date, to the marriage and honeymoon, through sexless years, until they cannot live without each other and die holding hands minutes apart. It's not love, it's codependency. Love is temporary. Codependency can last until death. In the end, we all want to be codependent and attached to another human, because it's a basic, primal survival instinct.

So if the goal is to find that life-long partnership, it must be with a woman who is ready to enter a codependent relationship with you. These days, that's later and later in life, and sexual attraction is now less and less of a factor in that arrangement. People here piss and moan about "post-wall women" and "women looking for beta bux" -- but this is simply a more pure form of human sociology, less adulterated by the traditional conventions of marriage, and chastity, and sexual purity.
 

jhonny9546

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I most enjoy men who have “been there, done that” & got the player t-shirt and still retain the skill set to seduce women but who parlay or sublimate if you will that skill set into creating a meaningful connection with a woman he enjoys, likes, wants, etc. I can’t tell you how many men I know who have evolved to this point. They understand women, know how to manage a relationship and are a pretty happy bunch.
To be there, you also need to do some experiences in your life beforehand.
I mean, we should not change "who we really are", but when you don't know who you are, it's easy to get trapped.
I would love to learn how to keep a woman high desire in an LTR, because this would also make the men more satisfied on the other hand. (not seeking for validation)
 

jhonny9546

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You must be extremely immature or date women who aren't LTR material
LTR material it's non easy to understand, more, to find, nowadays.
But you still need to play a woman, in the LTR, which is a way harder thing, than a dating game
 

BeExcellent

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There's a lot of bitterness in this thread -- mostly rooted in the disillusionment when the prior conventional attitude and belief systems pertaining to "happily ever after" confront reality. This has been coined "taking the red pill."

The way I see it: relationships, as with everything in this world, including life, and the world itself, are temporary. They have a beginning, they run their course, and then end.

There is no happily ever after or life-long love. There is, however, emotional bonding that will keep two people together, from the first date, to the marriage and honeymoon, through sexless years, until they cannot live without each other and die holding hands minutes apart. It's not love, it's codependency. Love is temporary. Codependency can last until death. In the end, we all want to be codependent and attached to another human, because it's a basic, primal survival instinct.

So if the goal is to find that life-long partnership, it must be with a woman who is ready to enter a codependent relationship with you. These days, that's later and later in life, and sexual attraction is now less and less of a factor in that arrangement. People here piss and moan about "post-wall women" and "women looking for beta bux" -- but this is simply a more pure form of human sociology, less adulterated by the traditional conventions of marriage, and chastity, and sexual purity.
Codependency is not healthy. Interdependence is. Bitterness happens when you have a belief system that assumes there is no lifelong love relationship.

You could not be more wrong. i know couples married 65+ years who exhibit beautiful love & are still flirty and cute with one another.

But men struggling in the dating markets get jaded and don't believe its possible for them. And rationalize that all marriages must be unhappy because they are unhappy.
 
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