You know what the hardest thing about chasing women when you get older?

[docv]

he meant if you are a good looking guy who doesnt make much compared to decent looking guy who makes bank - the woman will usually go for the guy with the $$$

 

[joekerr31]

women go for the guy with the highest perceived external value - MOST women that is (not all).

the order of importance with regards to attraction is as simple as the order in which you meet someone.

first is looks (its the first thing they notice)
next is confidence
next is personality
next is social proof / your lifestyle
and last is money.

the reason i say this is that when you first meet a woman she has no clue how much money you have.

heck, most of the guys i know who have tons of money you wouldn't be able to tell they have it. you'd knwo they have SOME money, but you'd never guess it was as much as they actually have. yet a lot of guys who don't have 10 dollars in the bank look like they are worth millions.

i'm like this. 90% of my net worth is tied up in investments. i drive a nice car, have nice suits and clothes, but i don't buy 5,000 watches (honestly, a 5k watch looks the same as a nice 200 dollar watch), etc. I don't drive a 100k car when a 30k car floats my boat. etc.

i can tell you this much, when i see someone driving a 100k car i either think

1) they are so loaded they blow that kind of dough
2) they are an idiot for investing 100k into something that depreciates every year intead of investing where they can make 5-20% on that 100k.
3) if they are over 45 i just think "good for you m an, you made it in life and you're rewarding yourself for working hard for 20 years." but if i see a guy 35 and under in a 100k car i typically think 'enjoy your 1000 dollar a month lease you dumb broke as a joke f*ck."

so anyway, i honestly don't think money (beyond a certain point) really matters at all when it comes to attracting women.

now, keeping women? TOTALLY different story. if a woman likes your looks and personality and then finds out that you financial doing well, you'll have to call the fire department to bring the jaws of life to get her mouth off your c*ck.

personally i don't let a woman know my financial state until i'm convinced that she's a high quality catch.

 

[docv]

now, keeping women? TOTALLY different story. if a woman likes your looks and personality and then finds out that you financial doing well, you'll have to call the fire department to bring the jaws of life to get her mouth off your c*ck.

couldnt have said it better myself.

 

[grinder]

Dealing with existing relationships. It drives me nuts when, for example, my sister throws a party and there are 2 or 3 good-looking girls I'd LOVE to boink, and I'd LOVE to run game on them, but they ALL have boyfriends!

Once you hit that age, all the girls's friends have boyfriends, so they all have to be dating SOMEONE or they can't hang out with their non-single friends any more.

And I know that boundary can be utterly disrespected. I have before in the past. But with people you KNOW, that can backfire on you real quick. I feel like I'm literally biting my tongue and stuffing my hands in my pockets just to avoid taking a shot at a "taken" girl.

And the thing is, these girls...they really want to get around, but THEY'RE bound into respecting an existing relationship. They get into it just to have company and for social reasons, but then end up having to respect that relationship as if it WAS a romance. I KNOW that at least SOME of these girls would rather be with me...but to break up with someone for someone else is the HEIGHT of impropriety for them.

Fvck...to just find some people who aren't bound to bullsh!t relationships by society. Hell, I can't even go to the bar any more without running into girls who are married/engaged/have boyfriends. WTF are you doing out in a place like THIS if you're not SINGLE? If I had someone I was steady with, I would be doing all KINDS of fun things with them...there are SO many opportunities in that lifestyle and here you are out getting drunk in some slutty outfit getting hit on by guys you don't even WANT??

Heh...just venting. This BS needs to stop.

I know exactly what you mean when you use the word “chase” but it sets the wrong tone.

I was a married AFC for years and bizarrely enough I learned a few things from women THEN that help me now.

More than a few shared they really had a serious fear, almost a phobia, of being alone. I’m not talking social perception. I mean flat out afraid to be physically by themselves.

I have confirmed this since I grew my nads back and, of course, use this knowledge. Many, many of them were with somebody for no other reason than it was “somebody”.

So, getting back to the thread and you perceiving all these “taken” women; I’m telling you and I know this for a fvckin fact that many really are treading water waiting on the next best thing. Yes, even a surprising number of the married ones.

Sure its much more complicated when they are older, the social webs are much more involved and any moves you make have larger repercussions.

I know it can get morally sticky in whether or not you are taking another man’s woman. I prefer to look at it that she is simply choosing the better man.

Our job is to be that better man.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Bonhomme, didnt get your point, explain plz. Average or above average pic plus good income (50k would be almost two times the average income in the US). You will have broads all over you.. whats the point? You could make a point by posting a bUtt ugly pic and a real good income... or didnt I get you?

..Uh oh... I can smell another "Looks" thread coming on.....

 

[FM 3321]

<snip>
Our job is to be that better man.

I wholeheartedly agree. Becoming a better man is a tough thing to do and that's why those "real men" women are looking for are far and few in between. Also alot of men don't know how but luckily for us this website and other resources linked to it can help men show them the way.

 

[blueguy]

I really dislike this thread because it reintroduces the wrong mindset to everybody here who reads it. This is exactly the mindset that works against every guy.

1. Girls don't know what they want. Hell, people in general don't know what they want. People have mid-life crisis' and turn around changing their minds all the time. You have to show them that they really do want you 100% of the time. No exceptions.

2. Girls list qualifiers they want in a guy, yet they always seem to end up with the guy who doesn't even have the majority of the qualifiers in their list (ie: height, money, looks, age, hugely popular, etc.)

3. What they're really looking for is a combined value close to theirs. If they're worth a 7 on the market, they're looking for a 7. They want the good deal, whatever that means or however it is added up.

It doesn't matter how you old you are as long as you've turned yourself into a commodity that the girl you are interested in likes. There is somebody out there for everybody. It was only a few years ago at the peak of Britney Spears' career that she was infatuated with a man 20 years older than her. But he didn't want anything to do with her.

 

[Bonhomme]

I said under 50K, Rudra.

Yes, 50K is well above the national average. Why do you think these women with such requirements have profiles that become like wallpaper on these dating sites? (It is amusing to watch some of them get more angst-ridden as time wears on)

blueguy wrote:

2. Girls list qualifiers they want in a guy, yet they always seem to end up with the guy who doesn't even have the majority of the qualifiers in their list (ie: height, money, looks, age, hugely popular, etc.)

That's why guys who do not make a lot of money and don't have really great pics should concentrate on meeting women in person.

 

[MatureDJ]

Being perceived as having too much quality can actually be a negative for FB/fling purposes.

I agree. I remember when I was 15 or so, my gang somehow got involved with a gang of 13 y.o.'s There was one girl who was known to pretty slutty around the previous set of boys, but when she was with us, she was not slutty. It seems that those boys were of a lower class, and she got into our crowd, she didn't want to be slutty so that she would appeal to us more (or something like that.) Back then, I would have loved to be getting bluw jobs from her. :woo:

BTW, I heard that this chick got knocked up at 19. :nono:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

SQUIRRELS, if there's no ring a girl's finger she's available. I can't count the number of times I tapped the "I have a boyfriend" girl (sometimes the night we met) when I was in my 20's. That may sound unethical, but too many guys limit themselves in this respect as a defense against rejection; "hey, what was I gonna do, she has a boyfriend?" It's an easy out for not trying rooted in a fear of rejection.

On the occasions when I hooked up with the "taken" girl, in every situation the girl had voluntarily put herself into the appearance and attitude of being single and 'happened' to be in the club, at the party, at the gig, with the Girls Night Out girls where I met her. Women don't accidentally wander into environments like this when their LTRs are so satisfying. Women want to fukk, you just have to be the guy they want to fukk and no BF is going to stop her doing what she already wants to do. She may convince herself that she "doesn't usually do this" or she was "drunk and he was cute so things kinda happened,.." the next morning, but the behavior belies the intent. And the behavior happens with such regularity it becomes predictable. So stop limiting yourself and be the guy she "just couldn't help herself" around.

 

[squirrels]

SQUIRRELS, if there's no ring a girl's finger she's available. I can't count the number of times I tapped the "I have a boyfriend" girl (sometimes the night we met) when I was in my 20's. That may sound unethical, but too many guys limit themselves in this respect as a defense against rejection; "hey, what was I gonna do, she has a boyfriend?" It's an easy out for not trying rooted in a fear of rejection.

On the occasions when I hooked up with the "taken" girl, in every situation the girl had voluntarily put herself into the appearance and attitude of being single and 'happened' to be in the club, at the party, at the gig, with the Girls Night Out girls where I met her. Women don't accidentally wander into environments like this when their LTRs are so satisfying. Women want to fukk, you just have to be the guy they want to fukk and no BF is going to stop her doing what she already wants to do. She may convince herself that she "doesn't usually do this" or she was "drunk and he was cute so things kinda happened,.." the next morning, but the behavior belies the intent. And the behavior happens with such regularity it becomes predictable. So stop limiting yourself and be the guy she "just couldn't help herself" around.

I know this. The question is, when you're in a group of people who are almost all BF/GF couples, how do you overcome the social stigma? Especially people you have to see again?

And even deeper, what happens when a woman is so mucked up in her "relationship" that she won't let you in her pants, much less into her heart, even if she WOULD like to get out of said relationship?

I mean, women will enter into relationships they're not serious about, but daily affirmation of that relationship, and soon women especially will end up being controlled by a relationship they didnt' even want.

I've tried ignoring the social "bind" they're in and pursuing them as single women...didn't work. I've tried being more confrontational...didn't work. They're too tangled up in that sh!t to let go of it.

And the biggest PITA is running into a girl who says, "Oh, I was just engaged three weeks ago, I broke up with my fiancee"...then you know you're stuck in rebound-land...she's either gonna want an insta-replacement or she's going to stay disconnected forever.

 

[bigjohnson]

The toughest part is that once they cross that magical line around 27-30 they are interested in a "relationship", which is woman code for "my pull date is rushing up and my bio-clock tick sounds like Def Leppards drummer. Marry me NOW".

You can't get disentangled to save your life. If guys acted like 30 year old women do we'd have restraining orders on us.

 

[Bonhomme]

LOL!

Damn straight, bigjohnson. That's one big thing in favor of single or divorced moms.

Actually, it has been my experience that some of these gals lack any patience in a relationship. They want you to knock 'em right up, and have a wonderful life footing the bills for the little bugger you may never even get to see.

 

[STR8UP]

The toughest part is that once they cross that magical line around 27-30 they are interested in a "relationship", which is woman code for "my pull date is rushing up and my bio-clock tick sounds like Def Leppards drummer. Marry me NOW".

You can't get disentangled to save your life. If guys acted like 30 year old women do we'd have restraining orders on us.

Haha.....the last chick I dated was 33, and was on her second strike for flying off the handle over seeing me interact with other (mainly younger) women.

Kinda funny how as soon as she realizes I ain't goin' there she ends up getting a boyfriend and moving 1200 miles away. Then her best friend alludes to the fact that things might have been different if I would have stepped up to the plate.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Better him than me!

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

i find the hardest thing about dating as i get older is the fact that i have so much money. when i was young and poor and in a relationship or meeting girls it was about nothing more then the time we spent together.

now that i have money $hit is compicated. you get to thinking if the girl really likes you for who you are or what you are and how much money you have.

its kinda lame but thats just how it goes. i guess it would make sense to meet a chic who has a great career who already has money.. but that limits my spectrum of datable chics by huge proportions.

All the women I know, who are in the financially secure catagory, are FAT and Disgusting. Sure! They shower and put on makeup. But they're only covering up the cellulite reality... One that I can't get down on! Who wants to be around that?
Give me a "normal" woman who looks good and cares (or at least pretends to) about what I THINK! And I'm all happy until it winds down and I have to let another one find me!

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

And the biggest PITA is running into a girl who says, "Oh, I was just engaged three weeks ago, I broke up with my fiancee"...then you know you're stuck in rebound-land...she's either gonna want an insta-replacement or she's going to stay disconnected forever.

I'll be the rebound guy! Where do I sign up? LOL
I never plan on getting too attached anyway.... If she dishes too much Sh!t and it's NEXT!:kick: