Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

You have the right to feel like crap

Joe The Homophobe

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Being hit on by an ugly girl is one of the most well known confidence bombs that can hit a guy, and it hurts! Don't think it makes you arrogant or evil because you feel bad, sad, get low self steem or lose confidence because a fat girl or girl below decent standards tries to ask you out, starts talking to you, approaches you, hits on you what ever. Don't think you are alone in this, it has happened to countless guys but many don't have the guts to admit it or talk about it.

Don't believe the people that tell you that you must be some arrogant sob, some mysoginist or that you must think you are royalty for feeling this way. No man has to suffer from being approached by an ugly woman! You have the right to be mean, you have no obligation to be nice. Go ahead and order ger to get the hell away from you!

It happened to me once so let me tell you the story so you don't have to go through this. I was sitting on a bus stop and a chubby girl sat next to me and said hi etc etc, then started asking me questions hitting on me. Of course I knew what was going on and what she wanted. During the whole conversation I was quiet, answered with short answers hoping she would get the picture that I didn't want to talk to her. I just wanted her to shut up and get the hell away from me before more damage could be done to my self steem. Then at the end she says we should hang out and that crushed me. Of course I tried to be a nice guy and a gentleman and I just sat there and took it it all. I thought that I couldn't be mean to this girl that would be wrong! I got home and felt like crap for the rest of the week. I woke up sad, my self stem and confidence was at an all time low. For more than a week I felt like crap and couldn't get this horrible incident out of my mind.

You have the right to feel like crap, you have the right to protect your self steem. Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise, no man likes to be hit on by hedious creatures of creation.
 

AverageFC

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the worst thing is, if youre nice to them, they think you like them, and if youre mean to them, they think youre flirting with them.

*screams*
 

Joe The Homophobe

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I don't know if I should even reply to someone who calls himself "MaleCrotchSniffer"

anyway it happens to many and it doesn't mean you have a weak mind. Nobody likes to be hit on by fat pigs or hideous monsters, maybe you do and it has happened to most men at one point in their lives. When it happens it is a confidence bomb.
 

Cheat_LBJ

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Incidentally, ever stopped to think what the "HB9s" think when most of us go up and start spitting game at them?

It's a two way street, remember...so unless you're a "Mr. Universe" contestant, have some class and politely tell these women that you're not interested.
 

Joe The Homophobe

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Incidentally, ever stopped to think what the "HB9s" think when most of us go up and start spitting game at them?
This is way different. Girls don't usually hit on guys, and most girls are used to being hit on. It is ingrained in girls that they are to be hit on by guys that it doesn't bother them because it is common for girls.
It's a two way street, remember...so unless you're a "Mr. Universe" contestant, have some class and politely tell these women that you're not interested.
I already explained the part about being arrogant (your mr universe argument). Your main priority in this situation is to protect yourself. If it means walking away or telling her to leave you alone then do it.
 

JonJack

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It is ingrained in girls that they are to be hit on by guys that it doesn't bother them because it is common for girls.
Since I agree that this is true, maybe guys shouldn't be expecting beautiful women to hit on them. Cause I doubt it happens often enough. In which case, having ugly women, who probably never had a guy hit on them, build up the courage to hit on you deserves some respect and courtesy.

However, we all have a right to treat people whatever way we choose. I have chosen to treat people with decency, until they start insulting my intelligence.

One other thing. You have total control over your confidence level. If an ugly girl has the power to ruin your self confidence, it is about time you start building it up a little more.
 

Cile

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Why would anyones self-esteem be crushed by something like this? I just dont get what is so bad about getting hit on by women who dont look good. If your not interested what is the problem?
 

rgeere

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I think it is a sign of self-esteeme problems to even allow that to effect you in the first place. Personally, I always took it as a compliment. Most of the time it is a good indication that there are hotter girls that find you interesting.

Learn a thing called tact and don't treat them like trash. If another girl who was interested in you saw you treating any girl like trash, she might just assume you have a thing against all girls and it would be a turn-off for her.
 

Evil-Rom

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If an ugly girl "hits on you", that means she finds you attractive.

If she finds you attractive, it could be said that other, more beautiful girls will also find you attractive.

You must have some issues if after being HIT ON, you feel bad.

This is way different. Girls don't usually hit on guys, and most girls are used to being hit on. It is ingrained in girls that they are to be hit on by guys that it doesn't bother them because it is common for girls.
Are you saying girls DON'T get bothered by ugly guys constantly coming up to them to try to get them into bed?
 

AverageFC

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If she finds you attractive, it could be said that other, more beautiful girls will also find you attractive.
I see it as, if ugly chicks are hitting on you, that means more beautiful girls aren't.
 

frivolousz21

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What the Fyck is going on in here..

this whole board is going to hell!

to the thread starter? that hurts ur self esteem if a fatty hits on you???

booo hoooooo!! u want some cleenex! u p*ssy. I am sick of coming here and reading this garbage..this is beyond garbage...there is no negative to anyone ANYONE unless they are Male..even then I think its a compliment to be hit on.

fat, male, hot, ugly..if someone hits on you..its FLATTERING PERIOD!

obviously it would nice if the hottest woman on earth hit on you..but thats not likely....if anyone tells me Im cute..or what not..I say Thanks..and I appreciate it.

you need help..and dont post this garbage anymore.
 

squirrels

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Waddles: "I think we should hang out sometime."

You: "Ehh...I don't think so. But it was nice talking to you."
 

Robbie

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Originally posted by Joe The Homophobe
It happened to me once so let me tell you the story so you don't have to go through this. I was sitting on a bus stop and a chubby girl sat next to me and said hi etc etc, then started asking me questions hitting on me. Of course I knew what was going on and what she wanted. During the whole conversation I was quiet, answered with short answers hoping she would get the picture that I didn't want to talk to her. I just wanted her to shut up and get the hell away from me before more damage could be done to my self steem. Then at the end she says we should hang out and that crushed me. Of course I tried to be a nice guy and a gentleman and I just sat there and took it it all. I thought that I couldn't be mean to this girl that would be wrong! I got home and felt like crap for the rest of the week. I woke up sad, my self stem and confidence was at an all time low. For more than a week I felt like crap and couldn't get this horrible incident out of my mind.
Perhaps you would have thought more of her if she ran some patterns or did some of that ****y and funny business before asking you out. Maybe she violated the three second rule?


I know the feelings that Joe is describing but I'm not particularly proud of having had them myself. "Why is THIS the KIND of girl that flirts with me? Does this girl honestly believe that I am in her league?" These are ugly, ugly thoughts to have. Many if not all of us have had them.


The good news is that this reflects personal weakness and insecurity that we can do something about. It really has nothing to do with the preson that is approaching us, so there is not a lot we can really do to "protect" ourselves. She is not coming to get us or to hurt us; she is mearly expressing interest in us. I give her props for having the balls, errr... metaphorically speaking, to approach Joe.

Yes, it can be a blow to your self esteem when a person you consider ugly comes and hits on, but only if you believe that you are not capable of attracting the kind of person to whom you would also feel attracted.

My biggest concern in this sort of a situation is that you treat said woman with respect. If an insecure woman puts you down heavily when you ask her out, there is not a lot you can really do about it besides suck it up and forget about her. Some women become hellbent on revenge when they get rejected. No matter what you think a woman looks like, there is always a long line of stupid men who would gladly fight you or otherwise make your life miserable for a chance to get with her. Angry women are quite aware of this, I found out. Never make brushing off a woman any more painful than it has to be for them.

Joe, your screen name makes me very happy for you that it was a big girl and not a guy that tried to flirt with you.

Keep working your b!tch shield. They'll go away.
 

platinumike

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damn, your shallow. She obviously just wants to talk with somone, when theese things happen to me, i usually start talking to the chick, embrace it and enjoy it.
 

PRMoon

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I try to be polite to all girls in just about any situation (unless they're trying to get physical [violent or sexually] and i'm not interested) I don't think it's okay to be a jerk becasue some random chic worked up the nerve to come up to you and ask you to dance or ask for your number or what not.

More often then not when this happens to me I'll tell them i have a girlfiend or I'll just start dancing with some other girls (preferably girls who are more in line with my type) and they usally get the message. If not I'll just tell them in a polite way that I appreciate the compliment but i'm really not interested. No need to go around ego smashing, especially when there are so many ways to be a gentleman in situations like that.
 

Delta Male

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What a weak frame for looking at this.

If you seriously have your self-esteem damaged are are depressed for A WEEK because a girl who wasn't hot found you attractive, you have some major issues with your inner beliefs. So, you don't find her attractive. That doesn't mean that you can't talk to her. What difference does looks make, when you're just talking being social and having a conversation?

Instead, you should just take it as a compliment, and let it RAISE your self-esteem. You don't have to accept her advances, just let her know politely that you're not interested. And who knows, maybe if you don't get yourself all worked up over her bad looks, you might actually have a cool conversation with her. Yes, that's right. It is possible to have a cool, fun conversation with an ugly girl.

So just chill, and stop being so negative. You'll have much for fun in life that way.

-Dan
 
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