Got dumped by a girl like, 6 years ago, and then the other night ended up out with her and some friends. She was all over me as if it was back in the day. It's been so long that I don't even think about her, it was kind of a weird "full circle" moment. You guys ever had something like this happen?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You guys ever get back in touch with your "no contacts"?
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
HalfAddict
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2005
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- 773
- Reaction score
- 29
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- 43
Funny you should mention this, an ex of mine (who broke up with me via text) called me tonight to "come over and hang out"
I told her to call me about that some other time lol
I told her to call me about that some other time lol
P
perseverance
Guest
My ex of three years ago got back in contact with me about two months ago. We had a five-ten minute phone conversation before I left it at that and went about my life as per usual. I haven't spoken to her since and have no interest in doing so in the future. Why rake over old ground? It's dead and buried as far as I am concerned.
I was dating a girl 6 years ago (HB 7.5). I broke it off after 6 months because she was getting too serious. I tried to get back with her about 6 months later but she was seeing someone else whom she ended up marrying. Fast forward about 3 years later. She spots me walking on the street one day after not seeing or talking to her for several years and later looks up my number and calls me to get together and chat. Needless to say, she was all over me saying how good I looked, how she missed me, etc. We talk and she tells me that the guy she married ended up being an abusive jerk, bla bla bla. I was pretty much in a sexual state and wasnt paying much attention to her and just wanted to bang her which I did the next time I saw her. We start going out again, but realize that her needy qualities that caused me to break it off in the first place were still there. I banged her a couple of times more and just broke it off again.
Lesson to be learned: Once you break up with a chick its usually for a good reason and taking a second crack at it usually doesnt work. In these cases, I try to make them a FB and nothing else.
Lesson to be learned: Once you break up with a chick its usually for a good reason and taking a second crack at it usually doesnt work. In these cases, I try to make them a FB and nothing else.
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yeah, good advice guys. Thing is I only go back to my hometown maybe 3 times per 2 years, so it's not like I'll see her or even contact her for a very, very long time (I happen to have gone out with a group that included her -- not often the case when I'm home). And I'm also in a satisfying relationship right now. But it was kinda funny to see how things change.
Out of my exes I've only seen two that after we went our seperate ways were even civil to me. Out of those two only one of them was what I would consider F buddy material and I even went after on Saturdays to hang out with after meeting at a bar.
After some time however she tried to weasel her way into my life again and then I remembered why we parted ways so I stopped seeing her altogether.
After some time however she tried to weasel her way into my life again and then I remembered why we parted ways so I stopped seeing her altogether.
Both my serious Ex's got back in touch with me; one was very aggressive about it and it was clear she wants me back, but I had zero intention for that and did not even meet with her.
Second girl, I did meet with and had a few "sex with the ex" encounters, but it became clear that she may want to get back together; I did not want a relationship at that point and was having a great time. She realized that and moved on. She now moved in with some dude, and I think we both have a sort of feeling that to each other we would always be "the one who got away".
No point to cry over spilled milk though; I learned a great deal from that break up and would have never been the man I am now without going through it.
As a rule of thumb, never go back; always move forward. Random hook up with ex's are fine as long as its all it is; hookups. As soon as you see the girl is getting attached, or you feel old feeling rising; BAIL!!!!
Second girl, I did meet with and had a few "sex with the ex" encounters, but it became clear that she may want to get back together; I did not want a relationship at that point and was having a great time. She realized that and moved on. She now moved in with some dude, and I think we both have a sort of feeling that to each other we would always be "the one who got away".
No point to cry over spilled milk though; I learned a great deal from that break up and would have never been the man I am now without going through it.
As a rule of thumb, never go back; always move forward. Random hook up with ex's are fine as long as its all it is; hookups. As soon as you see the girl is getting attached, or you feel old feeling rising; BAIL!!!!
Alex DeLarge
Master Don Juan
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- May 26, 2011
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Everytime I get back in touch with a NC girl they're just drunk and want to fvck. I usually don't take them seriously though.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Packers2010
Master Don Juan
yeah. i did contact mine. tho it only was because i am leaving the country for good. plsu way back when i said i would say good bye.
we had a skype convo for like 20 mins that was about it.
don't talk to her now. even if i do. it wont be for long.
we had a skype convo for like 20 mins that was about it.
don't talk to her now. even if i do. it wont be for long.
P
perseverance
Guest
Why did you give them two in the stink and one in the pink or something?floydb25 said:
Scars
Master Don Juan
Note: Guys can "hoover" just as well as women can. When it boils down to it, it's only temporary, and it's only to fulfill their selfish need for validation. My BPD ex has tried to hoover me 3 times sense we've broken up, so I pretty much get an update whenever her current bf isn't doing it for her, or when she is in massive sprouts of depression. I never give in.
If you are trying to "hoover" an ex/old interest then you're probably not over her. Let's face it. If you could truly live your life without this person in it, then why do you feel such a strong need to talk to them? You still care.
In other cases, a guy feels he is over her but wants to "get back" at her so to speak. Nope. Why would you want to seek out revenge? Because you still care. You may try to rationalize to yourself that you just want to put her through the same type of pain that you went through.. well guess what, you wouldn't feel this way if you were truly detached.
I stand by my original statement. Getting in contact with these girls is bad news. It isn't going to turn out how you want it to. You can rationalize to yourself until your blue in the face that you just "want to be friends". Nah man. You can't live your life without her. You need to correct that sh!t and get your head straight.
-Scars
If you are trying to "hoover" an ex/old interest then you're probably not over her. Let's face it. If you could truly live your life without this person in it, then why do you feel such a strong need to talk to them? You still care.
In other cases, a guy feels he is over her but wants to "get back" at her so to speak. Nope. Why would you want to seek out revenge? Because you still care. You may try to rationalize to yourself that you just want to put her through the same type of pain that you went through.. well guess what, you wouldn't feel this way if you were truly detached.
I stand by my original statement. Getting in contact with these girls is bad news. It isn't going to turn out how you want it to. You can rationalize to yourself until your blue in the face that you just "want to be friends". Nah man. You can't live your life without her. You need to correct that sh!t and get your head straight.
-Scars
Ha ha... Nah, I had no self-control. Was angry and bitter about life, and blamed women for everything. Had a pretty deep hatred for them, and it showed. Held nothing back. Just ended up with a lot of chaotic relationships, and resentment towards me. They hated me pretty bad for it.perseverance said:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
P
perseverance
Guest
It all sounds so eventful, I think we all feel like that at times in our lives, but the important thing is not to base your entire existence on being successful with women. If I am feeling angry, bitter or frustrated then I step back away from the game and take a break from it.floydb25 said:
At least you're good now though. Can I just ask what you did to move from the rut that you were in? What changes did you make and what changed your attitude and perspective?
Yuma
Don Juan
I'm going to tomorrow. Ex's birthday; told her a while ago I'd be in touch about something. We're not on good terms, at all. We don't even speak regularly.
BUT - this is just an experiment on my behalf. Been studying a lot about NLP and transferring it to text patterns. So, I jotted down a quick email with some embedded commands and anchoring. We'll see what happens. Nothing to lose!
BUT - this is just an experiment on my behalf. Been studying a lot about NLP and transferring it to text patterns. So, I jotted down a quick email with some embedded commands and anchoring. We'll see what happens. Nothing to lose!
It was pretty good - up until a major tragedy happened in our family. That's really when everything went downhill. She wasn't mean or uncaring, or anything like that. She was a very good mom, and still is. I just became a jerk to everybody for a long time. But mostly, I blamed women for everything. Not sure why. Maybe because they affect different emotions than men.Scars said:
I've recycled some of the women who I loved the most, and looking back (1988 versus 1993, and 1993 versus 1997) - it was never the same, but you can still have good sex and exorcise any demons you have over her hurting you. You can even get them to worship you, but you'll never feel like you did when you thought she might be your true love.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.