You don't know what confidence is

[Obey Propaganda]

I think we all agree confidence is one of the main traits in attracting women, and one thing I've noticed about the majority of guys in here... is that they have a false definition of what "confidence" is. Ironically most end up displaying the exact opposite. And that's a by-product of over-analyzing. Another major problem on this forum. It's an epidemic.

I've read countless threads from people with text messege exchanges between the girl and I cringe at how bleak the real conversations must be. You want to say something "C&F", you want to show her you're in charge, you want her to know you're not a pushover, right? Guess what? That's not confidence. That's insecurity. Why are you doing all that?

Because you care what she thinks about you.

confidence – noun
1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in our ability to succeed.

If you just got a number from a HB on Wednesday, and you call her the next day to see if she's free on the weekened, there's nothing wrong with it. If you question yourself though - thinking it might be too early to call, that's a problem, because you're no longer 'confident'. You're 'unsure'. Those two words are polar opposites.

Many, if not all problems most guys have can be solved with confidence. Proof? Most guys here have the knowledge, yet what are they doing? They're asking questions. But there's nothing wrong with asking questions right? There is if you're asking these:

When do I call?
She canceled the date, should I text or wait?
G/F dumped me, now what?
G/F is going to dinner with ex, should I speak up?
She wouldn't let me, is it a sh!t test?
Should I buy her a birthday present?
etc. etc.

Confidence is about believing in YOURSELF. Anytime you feel the need to question yourself or ask for someone else's opinion... it's no longer confidence. It's insecureness. Remember that.

 

[NIR Mondego]

Bump

 

[slaog]

I think we all agree confidence is one of the main traits in attracting women, and one thing I've noticed about the majority of guys in here... is that they have a false definition of what "confidence" is. Ironically most end up displaying the exact opposite. And that's a by-product of over-analyzing. Another major problem on this forum. It's an epidemic.

I've read countless threads from people with text messege exchanges between the girl and I cringe at how bleak the real conversations must be. You want to say something "C&F", you want to show her you're in charge, you want her to know you're not a pushover, right? Guess what? That's not confidence. That's insecurity. Why are you doing all that?

Because you care what she thinks about you.

confidence – noun
1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in our ability to succeed.

If you just got a number from a HB on Wednesday, and you call her the next day to see if she's free on the weekened, there's nothing wrong with it. If you question yourself though - thinking it might be too early to call, that's a problem, because you're no longer 'confident'. You're 'unsure'. Those two words are polar opposites.

Many, if not all problems most guys have can be solved with confidence. Proof? Most guys here have the knowledge, yet what are they doing? They're asking questions. But there's nothing wrong with asking questions right? There is if you're asking these:

When do I call?
She canceled the date, should I text or wait?
G/F dumped me, now what?
G/F is going to dinner with ex, should I speak up?
She wouldn't let me, is it a sh!t test?
Should I buy her a birthday present?
etc. etc.

Confidence is about believing in YOURSELF. Anytime you feel the need to question yourself or ask for someone else's opinion... it's no longer confidence. It's insecureness. Remember that.

Good post OP!

If you love yourself confidence will come naturally because you no longer need women or anything to make you feel good and you communicate this to the woman in many different ways. Thats why loving yourself is so important.

 

[TKS]

Totally agree.

 

[Snowman23]

That post really made me open my eyes.

Thank you.