"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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you can get away with much more than you think

DEKKA

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here's the deal guys. i used to be a nice guy type. if you filmed me interacting with women i'd probably have all my attention focused on her. id go out of my way to spend my money and time to try and please a woman because i thought thats how stuff worked. i tip-toed around their feelings thinking i might hurt something if i made any wrong moves. if a woman stepped out of line i'd probably instantly forgive her and move on... or if she really stepped out of line i might call her on it but not really seriously and in a way that demanded any respect. also, i used to think that certain things a guy just couldn't get away with. i.e. slapping her ass, making fun of her for her stupid things she does and anything else that annoys you, and calling her on her bull****.

things have changed and i've realized that boy can you get away with MURDER if you really want to.

don't be afriad to push the bounderies and go farther than you used to think was off limits. don't be afriad to put yourself on the line and say how you really feel. believe me when i say it will have the opposite effect of what you fear.

a lot of guys just hold their real feelings in and focus all their attention on a chick and this is discusting. be bold, be real, and if she pisses you off by god tell her about it. if she flakes on you and gives you a lame excuse call her on it. tell her it was a lame excuse and she'll agree with you.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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captn caveman

Don Juan
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True..

Once a group of girls, four of them, one I had laid months back, were behaving disrespectfully when I flirted with one of their friends. - After months time passes, me laying one friends of them is insignificant from my point of view. And this is my point of view.

Long story short,

At one point on the dancefloor, I had enough, I turned to them, and calmly said,

"You girls are so stupid, you make me sick",

Turned around.

What you know..

Next week one of them comes and says hi to me and starts up a conversation...
 

gav

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how exactly do you suggest getting over the emotion (inc sexuality)-suppressing personality?

baby steps - taking more risks?
 

DJ_Dork

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Watching porn before going somewhere with your girl or where there will be girls will help.
 

Austin Allegro

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Originally posted by gav
how exactly do you suggest getting over the emotion (inc sexuality)-suppressing personality?

baby steps - taking more risks?
A DJ worries less about 'offending' women, because he always has other options, so if a woman gets p*ssed off at him it doesn't matter. A DJ also realises that a woman being p*ssed off at him is not necessarily a bad thing - it can often increase his attraction.

The trick is to keep it light. Don't do anything, for example, that you yourself would find offensive (we had some charming character on this site a while back who thought it was ok to spit in a woman's face).

Take baby steps, but don't worry TOO much. I am constantly amazed how if a woman is into you, she does not mind too much what you say as long as it is good natured and funny.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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