"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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yea yea ex gf

Swede54

Senior Don Juan
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****s wierd guys, im not sure whats wrong with me. We've been broken up for months and shes ****ed up to me, and i stopped talking to her. Yet i still have nightmares where we went up together again as if i want it. Other day i sent out a bulk email to all my friends list talking about my bands upcoming show, and she was on the list and i forgot. I got a email back saying "**** off, mr.vans". Which is funny i didnt know she paid so much attention to what shoes i wear when i havent atlked to her in 5 months... ha
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Swede54

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however i replied with a very neutral response. I figured hating her is pointless, and gives her to much. Hates like a curved blade, neutrailty is the route to go it seems.
 

Wiesman44

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Bump ? What do you expect us to say to you ? Sounds like your getting along with life fairly well without her.
 

DJHoolahoop

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there should be a forum for people driven by "the one" cuz i'm seeing more and more convo's lately about ex's. no problem with that, but now i just cringe about the whole thing cuz i think the whole soul mate thing and all that was such a facade.

when i finally woke up and saw the way things worked, then i was able to really focus on the advice and information given on this site. I really feel sorry for the people who still pine after an ex that dumped them for some other guy because he wasn't good enough, but "she's perfect" so he can't move on. Hate to sound like a dyck, but really love just messes with you. If you're not careful and can't control it, someone always gets burned.

typically you just get stuck thinking about that one person you had "history" with instead of focusing on the next step in your life. that chapter should be done and the best thing to do is see if you made mistakes and then correct them and move on.

now i pretty much just went on a rant there which probably doesn't apply to your situation, but it's good to know why it's best to move on and then move on. far too many guys i talk with find REASONS to LOOK for things to analyze, they just don't wanna look for someone new and it sucks to try and help someone that don't get it.

btw, funny how girls can be complete bytches like that. my ex gf told me a good 3 months ago to f' off cuz i jokingly left a message on her site about a band she likes coming to town.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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