"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Wtf

Status
Not open for further replies.

Italia

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 16, 2008
Messages
44
Reaction score
0
Age
34
I almost had sex. Yes which makes no sense but... Right when we were ready.. I couldnt get hard worth ****... I think i was nervous(im 16 years old)
Im scared :(
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

MrS

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2005
Messages
1,329
Reaction score
7
HandyAndy said:
Funnier than a lump in your ass?
I think not. Don't laugh at other people's shortcomings.

Fear not, my 16 year old chum, it happens to the best of us. Try and relax and have fun, it's no big deal.

However, :crackup: , because it is expected.
 

HandyAndy

Banned
Joined
Aug 18, 2007
Messages
2,127
Reaction score
21
Location
SoCal!
MrS said:
Funnier than a lump in your ass?
I think not. Don't laugh at other people's shortcomings.

Fear not, my 16 year old chum, it happens to the best of us. Try and relax and have fun, it's no big deal.

However, :crackup: , because it is expected.
Yeah actually "almost having sex" is funnier than a lump on my ass, because that lump on my ass caused me unexplainable pain.

And not being able to get hard is most definitely funnier than a lump on my ass.
 

shaunuk

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 18, 2006
Messages
997
Reaction score
9
Location
Leeds, UK
Italia, don't worry about it mate, it was just anxiety. Just be chill, you'll get it up next time :up:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

jahidi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 14, 2008
Messages
218
Reaction score
0
No worries bud, it's really common for that to happen your first time. It's all in your head, try to relax next time and you'll do fine.
 

MrS

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2005
Messages
1,329
Reaction score
7
HandyAndy said:
Yeah actually "almost having sex" is funnier than a lump on my ass, because that lump on my ass caused me unexplainable pain.

And not being able to get hard is most definitely funnier than a lump on my ass.
Well I happen to disagree.
Did you see anyone come to your "anal abscess" thread and laugh their ass off at your problem?
Don't be a ****, at least laugh and say something encouraging.
Don't just mock the dude and leave it at that.
 

insidious

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2005
Messages
611
Reaction score
17
Not to worry, there is nothing wrong with you. Happens to the best and worst of us. You're only 16...I'm sure you have years and years of hardness ahead of you and you'll laugh at these moments in retrospect.

Now if that crap happens to me it's s time to worry.:cry:
 

HandyAndy

Banned
Joined
Aug 18, 2007
Messages
2,127
Reaction score
21
Location
SoCal!
MrS said:
Well I happen to disagree.
Did you see anyone come to your "anal abscess" thread and laugh their ass off at your problem?
Don't be a ****, at least laugh and say something encouraging.
Don't just mock the dude and leave it at that.
It was just the way the made his problem sound.

Posting it in a quick sentence made it seem like he was nervous and freaking out, I wasnt necessarily laughing at the actual problem in the beginning
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,382
Reaction score
85
MrS said:
Well I happen to disagree.
Did you see anyone come to your "anal abscess" thread and laugh their ass off at your problem?
Don't be a ****, at least laugh and say something encouraging.
Don't just mock the dude and leave it at that.

Don't you think you're blowing nothing into a large something, female?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Top