"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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wtf.. was going so well.. i got overexcited.. now do i have to next?

big weezy

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ok.. i had what i thought a very successful immediate date last night, i met this hot air stewardess for a private airjet company who was in town for a couple days.. i immediately ran game on her, spoke spanish to her.. then her friend called her on skype so i stopped talking and she said 'no it's ok go on..' but she has already pressed the answer button on her ipad i felt awkward.

anyway when they finished convo i carried on where i left off, i was wary about being used or friendzoned as a guy who is from around town showing her the city.. i.e. tourist friendzoned afc. that is what i was most worried about and got me panicking. so i suggest we go to the bar down the road.. she's a bit wary cos im a stranger and cos i couldnt remember exactly where it was.. she calmed down when we got there realising i wasn't leading down some stray path.

we joked, i dhv'd etc.. c+f.. kino'd her tho she didn't kino me back till later.. tho she did test me like 'so how often do you come to spain?' i f'd up cos i didn't realise at the time she was tryna think if it would work long distance.. whereas i was thinking 'damn.. she's leaving tues.. i wodner if i can get a lay before she goes' as the date went on i was readying for kiss close and about to, but 2 things stopped me.. 1 i needed to brush my teeth and didnt have gum.. 2 the waitress kicked us out cos it was closing time (major c0ckblock). all that attraction i built up dipped as we had to leave and it was snowing.. i took her back to her hotel and when i said 'i dont have your number' she was about to give it to me but cos she was shivering i made us go into the reception and she kissed me on both cheeks and wouldnt kiss close me.. the gettign her number bit was drawn out and awkward. this is where i f'd up.. when i get overexcited i talk really really fast and panick.. and it creeps women out.. i could tell she wasn't feeling it at that moment.. i got a neew phone and didnt know how to save the number easily so i had ot get it twice.. i said i'd whatsapp her cos she has an international number.. and she said something about her phoen not working.. which made me immediately react thinking 'wtf is she pulling the 'oh my phone doesn't work line and giving me a fake number'' so i started to ask her questions about why her phone didnt work abroad.. anyway she said 'we'll get together for coffee tomorrow' i was thinking 'huh? coffee wtf do u have a bf or something... i know she wasn't married she told me that' and thats when she started to act bit shifty.. when i kissed her bye again.. she gave me an odd look like that look of 'im not interested anymore you're creeping me out'

so this morning i send her a message by sms, it doens't deliver (her story appears to be true assuming this even is her number..) so i paste it as a whatsapp msg (dumb move, even on an iphone a text which is more than 1 msg long looks way way too long for a whatsapp msg) and when i read it back i realise that if she was creeped out at the end by my overexcitedness and panickyness.. this text will look needy and desperate.. sent it at 9am, i said i finished work early and i'd meet her at hotel at 12 and take her out maybe dancing tonight too.. (basically a too long afc msg) i see she's online after couple couple hours and it delivers.. then i wrote 'actually meet me at the starbucks instead' as i realised she doesnt have any reception except wifi in starbucks. no response then i leave a further msg saying 'and make it a bit later, my dad needs to get the car fixed so i'll need to get the train. what time is good for you?' no response.. she's been online few times since.. (also the whatsapp messenger thing is more like an instant messenger so sending back to back msgs is the norm, it just looks like u pressed return too soon)

i guess i got used for a 20 dollar drink.. thoughts on this? it's over i guess?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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big weezy

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thinking now what went wrong was, when we got to her doorstep of hotel i asked her 'so you're leaving tues? we should get together tomorrow then..' it was too keen and desperate and she must have sussed i was looking for a quick bang before she goes.. and my panicking made it more obvious and when she offered 'yeah we can meet for coffee tomorrow maybe..' looking less enthused.

what compounded it was my whatsapp message to meet at lunch today way too keen.. i think i've ruined it completely and there's no chance she'll meet me today and even if she does i may be getting used as a tourist guide.
 

big weezy

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yeah i see.. so strange, her IL appeared high though the kiss close would have told me everything.

im furious now, is there any point in my leaving one last message acknowledging she's ignoring me and that it's a shame cos we coulda had fun?

im only thinking cos she's leaving tomorrow i can only punt and hope with something that will get her to come out again.. i have no idea her reasons for not being responsive (maybe she thinks im looking for a bang before she leaves and thinks im sleazy..) right now i have no idea..is there anything i can say as a last whatsapp msg to her that will stimulate her a loss of me walking away?

can anyone give me something along the line of what to say cos so far i have 'ok i see you're ignoring me then, cool, that's a shame i thought me and you got on really well yesterday.. i guess i'll have to find some other spanish girl to contend with :) haha.. it's a pity i think me and you could have had fun.'

something along those lines but better.. without looking butt hurt.. is this not going to work? surely there's something c+f or something that might cause her to think twice about losing me etc?
 

Harry Wilmington

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Picture the situation reversed. A girl you're not interested in keeps texting you and you're not answering her messages. Finally, she sends what she thinks is a hail-mary, full-proof text, hoping it will make you like her enough to want to see her again. And the words she sends are:

"ok i see you're ignoring me then, cool, that's a shame i thought me and you got on really well yesterday.. i guess i'll have to find some other guy to contend with haha.. it's a pity i think me and you could have had fun"

Now ask yourself: WOULD THIS WORK ON YOU? Unless she's guaranteeing you bedroom action, the answer is probably "no." (And, unfortunately for you, the promise of bedroom action doesn't work the same way on girls as it does on guys.)

If she wanted to hang out with you, she would've already responded. Anything you send at this point just sounds desperate. However, I'm calculating the odds of you reading this message and not sending her one, and it's not looking favorable. So go ahead - message her and see what happens and let us know if anything came of it.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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big weezy

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in all honesty im more annoyed with how it ended last night.. i thought i did seemingly well up until the last 2 mins of the date.. i got nervous and acted desperate cos i was anxious cos we didn't kiss close prior.. and made an awkward ending to the date.. her look in her eyes told me she was creeped out.. should i have like kept talking after to leave it on a good note instead?

like ok fine, she was a bit creeped, so try to increase the IL a bit be playful like i had been earlier.. it's like i changed from one guy to another in those last 2 mins.
 
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