"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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WTF is up with CHUCK NORRIS!?

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Ok since few days ago ppl have been talking about this Sh*t*y actor. WTF where did all these retarded jokes come from. I never heard one and bang when i searched the net there's like a whole list of them.... christ ppl there's so many other things to make fun of. like EMO kids, feminists and Bush. Well some jokes are funny I bet family guy will make fun of him soon.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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bud_2005

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I don't understand the obsession with him lately either.
 

ethnomethodologist

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Don't be a hater, keep talking and he'll roundhouse kick the air and you'll get the air knocked out of you!
 

Create Reality

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It's one of those internet memes that comes around every now and again. Almost like, an internet 'fad'. LOL how stupid is that eh? They spread like a disease.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I'll admit, I found em halarious at first but it gets old after it gets posted somewhere every 3 days
 
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They were better when they were about Vin Diesel.

"Vin Diesel is the only human being capable of skiing through a revolving door."
 

Gonzalo

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Watch and see how Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks this thread in the face and closes it in 3...2...1....
 

Soprano

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ive been down with Walker for a while now but he's now just catching on and becoming popular with people. conan obrien was down with him way before all this too.
 

Scoiland

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When chuck norris brushes his teeth his teeth actually clean the toothbrush
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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seagull

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Because people got bored with the Hoff and now they seem to have moved on to Chuck Norris.

What actor from decades gone by will be picked next?
 

italostud

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Lol I was just reading on an Italian forum I read sometimes and there's even Italian Chuck Norris jokes wtf? Lol
 

Skel

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chuck is the man!. In fact he can roundhouse kick his own ass.
 

ethnomethodologist

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Originally posted by Sazuki
Chuck got AMOG'ed on some info-mercial on the television by some blonde broad.

Haha, he just stood there totally clueless. Hahahaha...
Chick Norris is in Africa right now. He heard you though, and he's laughing so hard everybody within 100 miles of him went deaf.

*it was a fake laugh*

Create Reality, you are so totally wrong;)

mista legend can see it, it's a different genre of joke made about the same person. It's totally NOT what you guys think.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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