"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Would you take your ex-back?
- Thread starter vagrant
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Think of it like this........sex with the ex = stress.
If its a 1 time booty.......maybe, anything else is just screaming wuss behavior.
There are guys that breakup then get all irritated when they discover their ex is dating. They do the comparison questions......"is he better, cuter than I am, etc". Women do the same..........they break up and dont want to get back with you...YET.......THEY DONT WANT YOU TO DATE ANYONE ELSE EITHER.
ITS LIKE THEY CANT STAND YOU BEING HAPPY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN but its ok for them to have sex with other men.........just as long as your unhappy.
(anyone knowing the psychological term..........please contribute)
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Guys have to get it through their thick heads on here to move on completely once they are done with a girl or a girl is done with them.
Going back to an ex is like an animal that goes back and eats its own vomit.
If you and an ex get back together:
- YOU take the ex back. Not the other way around. A man should never beg to a woman unless he has done something seriously ****ed up to the woman (Hit her, had a threesome with her mom and sister, something like that)
- There are huge factors that need to be considered. Who broke up with
who? Why did you break up? Was it an issue of trust? Were you just tired of the tang?
- Is it really worth it? Was the sex that good? Was she that amazing of a woman? Do you have kids together?
- And since its YOU taking HER back. Why should you? What does she have to offer you that another woman doesn't? And if she was so great, why did you break up with her in the first place?
Myself? I've taken an ex back before, but it was just the same cycle all over again. We were great at first, then she started getting paranoid and checking my phone and email and stuff like that, then I got tired of her insecure ****, and left her again.
Banging exes is different. I do it often, but the important thing with that is to leave all emotional attachment behind at the door. Show up. Polite chit-chat. Sex. Cigarette, maybe a few drinks over a TV show. Leave.
**** and Move, and never ever spend the night.
Listen to the song "I just wanna **** you" by Dr. Dre/Snoop dogg. NOT THE ONE WITH AKON. Oldschool, baby.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
bigjohnson
Master Don Juan
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I feel like I'm always going to end up with her even if I find other beautiful chicks out there but at the same time I don't know if I can if she had sex with other guys while we were broken up.
Charlie Gordon
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vagrant said:
You ask a very personal question and what works for me might not work for you. I love my ex to death and although we seldom run into one another, we are still friendly. If things did not work out with my current girlfriend, it would be very tempting to look for comfort and acceptance from my ex, but there were obviously some things that did not work out about the relationship or she would not be my ex. I'd anticipate pain and regret on both of our parts, and so no, I would not go back to her... okay, not without some kicking and fighting, but it would be in our better interests to meet new people.
The sex bit is only partially relevant. I wouldn't expect a woman to retire from sex after our relationship ended. Seriously, unless she started to seriously disrespect herself, the sex part would be irrelevant to none-of-my-business depending on what I wanted out of the relationship. Woman are just as sex-crazed as men and their minds are just as "dirty" as ours. Just remember when you catch your girl looking at another guy or girl that you were probably checking someone out yourself a minute earlier. If there's supposed to be no cheating in the relationship and there's no cheating, then everybody's happy. Expect that your partner has had sex before you and will continue to have sex soon after you are gone. Some people have more of it from more partners than others. The good news is that you can ask your partner about her beliefs and find somebody who values what you value.
Being paranoid in a relationship is terrible. If paranoia and distrust seem to play a central role in the relationship for three years, then I suspect that will not change. Do you tend to feel this way in relationships or does she seem to bring these feelings out of you more than any other woman you've been with?
Young Anikan
Don Juan
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
The paranoid thing is new. I guess I'm all stressed out from school and work and the last thing I needed to see was my girl talking to another guy, commenting guys on facebook, which she tells me she hangs out with in school. It kind of throws me off track thinking very negative about where the relationship is going.Charlie Gordon said:
She texted me today..
Her: F*ck ____ I Miss you so F*cken much
Obviously she doesn't want us to break up. I guess there's a deeper problem and it's on my part. I feel like I won't be able to appreciate what I have when I don't have anything to compare her to. Honestly she's my first girlfriend. So maybe you all know what I mean. I want to f*ck other girls.
But I feel like if she f*cks other guys too I might have a problem with it. I don't know. Do you all think it's naturally normal to let her do whatever she wants? I get it that we're not together. It's a little hard cuz I love the girl. But at the same time I really want to find out that I'm lucky to have my girl.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
It is your life man...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Ana1106
Don Juan
I don't know anybody that would take a chick back after other "guys" have banged her.
You may not care who she's been with before you, but a lot of guys care about who comes after them.
Yet you've been with her for three years, which says a lot. You aren't going anywhere - if you have to ask this question you're screwed already.
Most men want to wife a wholesome girl, your girl seems far from wholesome.
Your girl's pus%y is like a public restroom now, because everybody has used it. You wouldn't touch the floor of a public restroom would you, yet you would possibly end up cunniglingusing your ex.
nismo-4
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guywhoneedshelp
Master Don Juan
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Take it easy baby, make it last all night. She was an american girl.
guywhoneedshelp
Master Don Juan
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"Learn from the past, plan for the future, and live in the present."
Have you learned a lot from this whole experience that would strengthen the relationship if you got together? You know, you never truly appreciate the well until the well has run dry.
However, live in the moment. Maybe it's banging other chicks. Maybe it's going to the gym and working on your abdomen. Maybe it's taking a night class on budgeting or working on your career.
No matter what caused you to break up, understand that it is easy to over romanticize good aspects of the relationship, while ignoring the problems and suffering that you may of had to deal with. The pros may seem to surpass the cons, and you might be realizing this as more and more time goes on, which is contrary to the belief that it takes time to get over a relationship. Time can also make you grow more curious as to whether or not this relationship can be salvaged, and the more time you spend dealing with worse women you may start to think that it was meant to be.
If you really want to poke at this, tell her you currently have no desire to be in a relationship with her. Go ahead, respond to those texts in which she says she misses you. Even agree to hang out with her as long as you can be "just friends." Include something in the conversation like "meet me at my house, but don't come in. We'll go to the movies, something where we wont have to speak to each other that much."
This will challenge her and you may see the big picture, learning if this is meant to be or not.
Let me know how this plays out. Hope this helps.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.