Would you take your ex-back?

[vagrant]

Even if she slept with other guys after? But you had sex yourself with other chicks.

 

[COD]

no............unless you want an exclusive RELATIONSHIP gravitating to cohabitation.

Think of it like this........sex with the ex = stress.
If its a 1 time booty.......maybe, anything else is just screaming wuss behavior.

There are guys that breakup then get all irritated when they discover their ex is dating. They do the comparison questions......"is he better, cuter than I am, etc". Women do the same..........they break up and dont want to get back with you...YET.......THEY DONT WANT YOU TO DATE ANYONE ELSE EITHER.

ITS LIKE THEY CANT STAND YOU BEING HAPPY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN but its ok for them to have sex with other men.........just as long as your unhappy.

(anyone knowing the psychological term..........please contribute)

 

[KontrollerX]

Nope.

Guys have to get it through their thick heads on here to move on completely once they are done with a girl or a girl is done with them.

Going back to an ex is like an animal that goes back and eats its own vomit.

 

[magickarl]

There are some key ideas here that need to be addressed.

If you and an ex get back together:

- YOU take the ex back. Not the other way around. A man should never beg to a woman unless he has done something seriously ****ed up to the woman (Hit her, had a threesome with her mom and sister, something like that)

- There are huge factors that need to be considered. Who broke up with
who? Why did you break up? Was it an issue of trust? Were you just tired of the tang?

- Is it really worth it? Was the sex that good? Was she that amazing of a woman? Do you have kids together?

- And since its YOU taking HER back. Why should you? What does she have to offer you that another woman doesn't? And if she was so great, why did you break up with her in the first place?


Myself? I've taken an ex back before, but it was just the same cycle all over again. We were great at first, then she started getting paranoid and checking my phone and email and stuff like that, then I got tired of her insecure ****, and left her again.

Banging exes is different. I do it often, but the important thing with that is to leave all emotional attachment behind at the door. Show up. Polite chit-chat. Sex. Cigarette, maybe a few drinks over a TV show. Leave.

**** and Move, and never ever spend the night.
Listen to the song "I just wanna **** you" by Dr. Dre/Snoop dogg. NOT THE ONE WITH AKON. Oldschool, baby.

 

[mrRuckus]

Yeah, this is has never been discussed before

 

[bigjohnson]

If there are no other issues to cloud things, no way. You tried once, failed. Look up the definition of insanity. If you have kids together or something then maybe you need to think twice.

 

[brian123]

You are exes for a reason. Don't waste your time

 

[vagrant]

Reading everyone's post I guess I have to go out there and find myself different girls to date and see why I should go back to my ex. We had a great thing going on but it's me that doesn't trust her even though I know she's a really really good girl. It's just that she's very attractive and guys go all over her and I hate how she lets them. She says she's just trying to be civil, giving a few words here and there, and that I shouldn't worry at all. We've been together for a almost 3 years and she's definitely a keeper. I just broke up with her because I'd rather have her do bad things when we're not together. It's not like she's doing anything bad but I'm just paranoid, I guess I just don't want to lose her.

I feel like I'm always going to end up with her even if I find other beautiful chicks out there but at the same time I don't know if I can if she had sex with other guys while we were broken up.

 

[Charlie Gordon]

Even if she slept with other guys after? But you had sex yourself with other chicks.

You ask a very personal question and what works for me might not work for you. I love my ex to death and although we seldom run into one another, we are still friendly. If things did not work out with my current girlfriend, it would be very tempting to look for comfort and acceptance from my ex, but there were obviously some things that did not work out about the relationship or she would not be my ex. I'd anticipate pain and regret on both of our parts, and so no, I would not go back to her... okay, not without some kicking and fighting, but it would be in our better interests to meet new people.

The sex bit is only partially relevant. I wouldn't expect a woman to retire from sex after our relationship ended. Seriously, unless she started to seriously disrespect herself, the sex part would be irrelevant to none-of-my-business depending on what I wanted out of the relationship. Woman are just as sex-crazed as men and their minds are just as "dirty" as ours. Just remember when you catch your girl looking at another guy or girl that you were probably checking someone out yourself a minute earlier. If there's supposed to be no cheating in the relationship and there's no cheating, then everybody's happy. Expect that your partner has had sex before you and will continue to have sex soon after you are gone. Some people have more of it from more partners than others. The good news is that you can ask your partner about her beliefs and find somebody who values what you value.

Being paranoid in a relationship is terrible. If paranoia and distrust seem to play a central role in the relationship for three years, then I suspect that will not change. Do you tend to feel this way in relationships or does she seem to bring these feelings out of you more than any other woman you've been with?

 

[Young Anikan]

Yea,I agree with the guys thats saying no.She's your ex for a reason and if you cant even trust her then there's no point in going back.If the sex was good,you can give her that occasional booty call.

 

[MattS]

People say that sh1t u r exes for a reason. People can break up for certain reasons like a time in life when things are chaotic or different atmospheres. I got back together with my ex after 2 years of being a part. So far things are good and I don't see anything bad happenening in the future. It can be done if u are at the right place and the right time

 

[vagrant]

You ask a very personal question and what works for me might not work for you. I love my ex to death and although we seldom run into one another, we are still friendly. If things did not work out with my current girlfriend, it would be very tempting to look for comfort and acceptance from my ex, but there were obviously some things that did not work out about the relationship or she would not be my ex. I'd anticipate pain and regret on both of our parts, and so no, I would not go back to her... okay, not without some kicking and fighting, but it would be in our better interests to meet new people.

The sex bit is only partially relevant. I wouldn't expect a woman to retire from sex after our relationship ended. Seriously, unless she started to seriously disrespect herself, the sex part would be irrelevant to none-of-my-business depending on what I wanted out of the relationship. Woman are just as sex-crazed as men and their minds are just as "dirty" as ours. Just remember when you catch your girl looking at another guy or girl that you were probably checking someone out yourself a minute earlier. If there's supposed to be no cheating in the relationship and there's no cheating, then everybody's happy. Expect that your partner has had sex before you and will continue to have sex soon after you are gone. Some people have more of it from more partners than others. The good news is that you can ask your partner about her beliefs and find somebody who values what you value.

Being paranoid in a relationship is terrible. If paranoia and distrust seem to play a central role in the relationship for three years, then I suspect that will not change. Do you tend to feel this way in relationships or does she seem to bring these feelings out of you more than any other woman you've been with?

The paranoid thing is new. I guess I'm all stressed out from school and work and the last thing I needed to see was my girl talking to another guy, commenting guys on facebook, which she tells me she hangs out with in school. It kind of throws me off track thinking very negative about where the relationship is going.

She texted me today..

Her: F*ck ____ I Miss you so F*cken much

Obviously she doesn't want us to break up. I guess there's a deeper problem and it's on my part. I feel like I won't be able to appreciate what I have when I don't have anything to compare her to. Honestly she's my first girlfriend. So maybe you all know what I mean. I want to f*ck other girls.

But I feel like if she f*cks other guys too I might have a problem with it. I don't know. Do you all think it's naturally normal to let her do whatever she wants? I get it that we're not together. It's a little hard cuz I love the girl. But at the same time I really want to find out that I'm lucky to have my girl.

 

[trv26]

Only if the reason for us breaking up wasn't her leaving me for a guy.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

It usually never works out. If it does then, thats great.
It is your life man...

 

[Juan_Man]

If you are thinking about getting back together with her, then you better learn to deal with your trust issues. Girls talk to other guys all the time, sometimes to be friendly but also because she may have a little crush on him. Deal with it. As long as she is not consistently seeing one guy all the time, then you have nothing to worry about. As far as her having sex with other guys after the breakup, realize that she has her needs just like you do and if it bothers you that much then just think about all of your own successful sexual conquests after the breakup to cure your insecurity issues. I know how you feel but you have to change your mindset if you expect the relationship to last.

 

[Ana1106]

How long were you broken up? And How many guys?

I don't know anybody that would take a chick back after other "guys" have banged her.

You may not care who she's been with before you, but a lot of guys care about who comes after them.

Yet you've been with her for three years, which says a lot. You aren't going anywhere - if you have to ask this question you're screwed already.

Most men want to wife a wholesome girl, your girl seems far from wholesome.

Your girl's pus%y is like a public restroom now, because everybody has used it. You wouldn't touch the floor of a public restroom would you, yet you would possibly end up cunniglingusing your ex.

 

[nismo-4]

I wouldn't take an ex back. Why? To allow her to have the upper hand and get your feelingss or heart broke again? Use future sight on this kind of decision.

 

[vagrant]

If you are thinking about getting back together with her, then you better learn to deal with your trust issues. Girls talk to other guys all the time, sometimes to be friendly but also because she may have a little crush on him. Deal with it. As long as she is not consistently seeing one guy all the time, then you have nothing to worry about. As far as her having sex with other guys after the breakup, realize that she has her needs just like you do and if it bothers you that much then just think about all of your own successful sexual conquests after the breakup to cure your insecurity issues. I know how you feel but you have to change your mindset if you expect the relationship to last.

Thanks for the wonderful advice.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

You know while I do agree once its over its over, and get a sickening thought of my ex banging someone else and would never be able to enjoy sex with her again...I do have a family member who parted with a girl for career reasons and eventually got married to her. one of the happiest marriages I've ever seen in my life. They accepted each other even though they both banged a lot of other people. Some would call that destiny.

Take it easy baby, make it last all night. She was an american girl.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

To pertain directly to you vagrant, let me say:

"Learn from the past, plan for the future, and live in the present."

Have you learned a lot from this whole experience that would strengthen the relationship if you got together? You know, you never truly appreciate the well until the well has run dry.

However, live in the moment. Maybe it's banging other chicks. Maybe it's going to the gym and working on your abdomen. Maybe it's taking a night class on budgeting or working on your career.

No matter what caused you to break up, understand that it is easy to over romanticize good aspects of the relationship, while ignoring the problems and suffering that you may of had to deal with. The pros may seem to surpass the cons, and you might be realizing this as more and more time goes on, which is contrary to the belief that it takes time to get over a relationship. Time can also make you grow more curious as to whether or not this relationship can be salvaged, and the more time you spend dealing with worse women you may start to think that it was meant to be.

If you really want to poke at this, tell her you currently have no desire to be in a relationship with her. Go ahead, respond to those texts in which she says she misses you. Even agree to hang out with her as long as you can be "just friends." Include something in the conversation like "meet me at my house, but don't come in. We'll go to the movies, something where we wont have to speak to each other that much."

This will challenge her and you may see the big picture, learning if this is meant to be or not.

Let me know how this plays out. Hope this helps.