"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Would you say I'm too far behind to ever catch up properly?

Eternal_water

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I am 22 years old, Im a virgin and have had a total of 1 girlfriend my whole life for about 9 months.

I have kissed a total of 5 girls.

Thats all the action I've seen in my life, everyone else my age (and below) seems to have girlfriends and regular sex.

Do you think I'm at the point where I'm to far behind ever to catch up and have sex/a girlfriend?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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JoeMarron

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Unless your d!ck stops working its never too late to catch up. I'm willing to bet there's alot more men in your situation than you think. Everyone likes to think that their problems are unique.
 

Mike32ct

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I think it's two separate questions.

>Is it too late to have sex and/or a gf?

No. You can DEFINITELY still accomplish this. I mean this honestly.

>Is it too late to "catch up" to where other guys are dating/sex-wise?

You need to have more modest expectations in THIS area and try not to think of it as "catch up." It is pointless to compare yourself to the "naturals" that started fooling around with girls earlier than you.

I used to do that all the time. I tried to compare myself to where I "should be" women-wise relative to most men my age. I stopped doing that because it's not a fair comparison if they started at 16 and me at 27ish.

But can you still do well with the ladies? Sure.

Do you have any hobbies that you would enjoy, could build a skillset at, AND open up a social circle of women?

I'm taking dance for example.
 

Eternal_water

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Im good at a few sports, problem is not many girls do them.

Dance would probably be a good one, or learning an instrument.
 

Eternal_water

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Thanks, I'm really good at my sport and I've been going to the gym for a while and taking protein bars as well and noticed an increase in strength and (very minor so far but still progress) muscle size.

I would like to learn an instrument though, hard to pick between violin and guitar, I'd prefer the violin but the guitar would probably be easier.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FairShake

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Eternal_water said:
I would like to learn an instrument though, hard to pick between violin and guitar, I'd prefer the violin but the guitar would probably be easier.
Ok, I have a feeling I know what your problem is simply by this sentence. You are undoubtedly a socially awkward nerd and, despite this weakness when it comes to women, you aren't socially aware either.

There's nothing wrong with the violin. In my opinion if God plays an instrument it's probably the violin. Or at least the fiddle when he's drinking. But in the practical terms of getting laid the violin ranks down near the recorder in baby-making potential. A guy who's not getting laid at 22 because he's a really nice and smart guy but socially awkward SHOULD pick the guitar. You don't even have to play much, just a couple John Mayer, Jack Johnson, or Dave Matthews songs and you are in.

You sound cool to me and I would never tell you to change your inner-self. But as a fellow socially awkward guy I know that the face you put out to other people (namely women and people at work) can't be your nerdy awkward face. That's for off hours. You need to develop a socially aware face that can smooth transitions at work and fvck time.

Edit: As for catching up with other guys...fvck other guys. You need to play your game and find your niche. Once you carve it out nothing will stop you.
 
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